nomenque erit indelibile nostrum

I'm like if a girl had the urge to scream and break something all the time but stays quiet instead

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

@taylorswift: A fortnight til Paris 🤍 

high school is soo funny in hindsight. the entire time you're there thinking it's the most important period of your life and then the second you're out you're like well that was fucking stupid

i dont like being asked "are you at home?" like please expand further so i can know if im at home or not

its so difficult to draw anatomy. and objects. and backgrounds. and clothing. and colors. and lighting. i honestly dont know how i ever managed to draw anything in my entire life

if we ignore all the stuff that's gone wrong ive kind of had nothing but wins

always vaguely feeling like im in trouble for something but idk what

The Four Sacred Artistic Motives:

-what if this bad thing was good instead

-how about Make-Believe Land can have whatever I want

-would that be fucked up or what

-I think that shit's hot