I need to write again. I’ve been craving it.
[ Hey, guys! I'm usually an anxious depressed mess, so I have stayed off of Tumblr, but I do have discord. Same as her URL. I talk to and rp with a few people, so if you'd like to hit me up on there, feel free! It's possible I will be back on here because I always end up coming back, but for now, that is the place I feel comfortable writing. Love you all and miss you!! ]
Emma remembered the feeling well, how the revelation that Elijah had been making her forget bits and pieces of their journey felt. There were hardly moments in the last few weeks that she didn’t think about it, wondering if he’d done it again but believing him when he told her he didn’t. He could be lying, but she wanted to trust him, needed to trust him.
I don’t want to leave.
She meant it. If she hadn’t, she wouldn’t still be there, running from place to place with him, but she couldn’t help but feel like he was still on edge, waiting for her to bolt, and that was why she thought he was still making her forget.
“Elijah...” Emma glanced over at him, losing her train of thought because he was just so beautiful. Being aware now had changed the way she looked at him, just not in the way he expected. There was no fear, simply awe. He was stronger than he knew. The dancing around everything, pretending that night never happened, had to fucking stop. She needed to know in that moment, even if he would just make it so it never happened in her mind. “Pull the car over.”
storybrookeswan reblogged
“perhaps not, but being his wife tends to imply you’ve a better understanding why he’s acting the way he is.”
“Maybe I don’t care how he’s acting right now.”
storybrookeswan reblogged
His breath catches in his throat as it goes dry from her words. The lieutenant for not the first time was at a loss of words, the princess was constantly keeping him on his toes and truthfully he hadn’t decided if that was a good or bad thing. Finally catching himself, he nods, staring at her dumbly. “ Yes, of course, Emma. I’ll stand outside your chambers? ” He asks for her permission, hoping that the nervousness and piqued interest in his tone doesn’t come across too boldly.
Emma smiled at the use of her name. She had thought it would be more difficult to break him of the habit of addressing her as Princess. It pleased her that he was already agreeing to her wishes. “Yes. You don’t have to go far.” Without Killian, the journey would be much more boring, and she was looking forward to having somewhat of a companion to keep her company. Smiling as he closed the door behind him, she quickly changed out of her dress. It was obvious that he was intrigued by this side of her she’d never allowed most outside of the castle to see, and Emma would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy the reaction.
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@storybrookeswan liked for a starter
“killian has been acting strange lately. you’ve any idea why that might be?”
“I’m not always the reason he’s acting strange, you know.”
‘ you seem a little off ––– is everything alright? ’
@storybrookeswan ( starter call )
“Oh, uh -- yeah. Yeah, maybe I’m more tired than I thought.”
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“we need to talk. call me.”
Well, that was never good.
“Hey…is everything okay? Are you okay?”
It was normal to be nervous, right? It was just… part of the whole experience. He knew he had no reason to be nervous. After all, he wasn’t afraid of rejection. If she said no, that she wasn’t ready… that was fine. It didn’t mean she’d break up with him, right? He was secure enough, confident in their relationship…
Hence the proposal. The way she had simply been perched on the desk waiting for him, looking just as nervous as he was? It was ridiculous, wasn’t it? Adorable, sentimental, but… ridiculous. He loved her. She loved him. That wasn’t a question for either of them at this point, it was just…
God. She said yes. Wow. Fuck. Holy hell…yay.
Getting to his feet; Victor set the wring down next to Emma, and wrapped his arms around her. Should he have put the ring on her finger first? Again, there was no real protocol was there? Pressing his lips to her cheek, he let out a relieved laugh. “Who ever would have thought? Us?” Not just that they’d end up together, but with their own respective baggage, they’d be able to make it work? …That just spoke to how well they worked, right? That they were worth it to each other. Could work through it, for and with each other.
Wow. “We were both scared. I’m not going to lie, when we first started out? I was more afraid than I was just now, asking you to marry me. Everyone I’ve ever loved, I’ve lost. It was my fault. I was worried I’d screw it up, hurt you. You didn’t deserve that… and I was worried that I’d lose you too. I wasn’t sure it was worth the risk, for both of us. Then there was that night, you came over. It was raining.” Victor drew back with a sigh, locking eyes with her. “…and from that point? I just couldn’t help myself. It wasn’t even a choice, it just… was like breathing. Even though I was scared, I wanted you. It became a need, and now? …I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Even if it means I’ve got everything to lose, I’m not going to let that Frankenstein paranoia get the better of me. If I’m honest, it’s not really there anymore… that much. I’m rambling on again, I’m sorry…. not really…”
Emma remembered that night that she’d come over in the rain very well. It had been a turning point for her. She would also agree that she’d been more scared that night than she was a few minutes ago, but similarly, even though she had been afraid, she knew she was making the right decision. He was worth everything she had to deal with internally to get to where she was now. No one else was going to help her through it, and she had so badly wanted to be done with the walls and the barriers. Emma implied that night that he could be her happy ending, and it turned out she was right.
“I know I didn’t make it easy. Even though I knew you were what I wanted, I was just so…afraid of letting myself be happy. You showed me I could be, though. That it could last. Even when I acted like a complete idiot because you told me you loved me…” Her arms tightened around him, the ring not even a thought because all that mattered in that moment was that he wanted to marry her. “I’m ready to listen to you ramble on for the rest of my life.”
cobalt gaze watches her profile as she answered his question quite simply, she’d miss them, and the way she adds on her desires and need to run away sort of clicked an inner understanding within him. with a deep sigh he simply nods his head once, softening his features and offering a true yet wary smile. “ i’ll help you, emma. my duties were to do whatever you wanted; were they not? ” the last part was his knock at a jest, she didn’t want formalities with him, perhaps a little teasing was a good start to break that mold within him. “ wherever you wish to run off to i’ll use all my ability to get you there. ”
“They were.” Finally, a smile forms. She had been planning this since she was informed the Lieutenant would be accompanying her on the journey. The Princess had had her eye on him for quite some time. “I appreciate it, Killian. I promise to make it worth your while. There are many ways you may be rewarded for your loyalty.” She left it up to him to decide what that meant, quickly changing the subject to something more pressing. “If you would not mind, I would like to change out of this uncomfortable gown.”
Thank You Emma Swan and Killian Jones. There will never be a more perfect story then the Lost Boy and the Lost girl that found home.
storybrookeswan reblogged
sad / heartbreak starters
- “i feel like i’m losing you.”
- “i didn’t mean to push you away.”
- “i don’t want to lose you.”
- “please just stay with me.”
- “give me another chance.”
- “don’t you care about me at all?”
- “i thought you loved me.”
- “you promised you wouldn’t leave me.”
- “i don’t know what i’d do without you.”
- “i never thought you’d be the one to break my heart.”
- “i need time to think about us.”
- “please don’t leave like this.”
- “i’m begging you to stay.”
- “this can’t be goodbye.”
- “don’t you love me anymore?”
- “do you… not want me anymore?”
- “i wish i could be enough for you.”
- “i wish you could see how much this is hurting me.”
- “i’m scared of losing you.”
storybrookeswan reblogged
“Don’t you feel any guilt?”
“Would that make a difference? …It’s okay, so long as I feel bad about it?”
In spite of turning her into a zombie, screwing up her life? He couldn’t help but feel a bit smug about that. Perhaps a smidge of guilt as well, going back to their initial discussion about this. “Spaghetti and brain balls. Again, try to ignore what you’re eating. You’ll be able to get it down regardless, you won’t be able to help yourself… but presentation helps.”
Sitting opposite her, he poured them each a drink with an apologetic smile. “Honestly, the biggest drawback for me is the taste. It’s hard to taste anything, unless it’s doused in hot sauce. That includes beer, fine wine… whatever your drink of choice is. You should feel the effects within the hour. It may be subtle. Pick up knowledge and skills you didn’t realize you had, because you didn’t. It might affect your mood, your personality. You can fight it though, if you want. You seem pretty strong willed. You never know what’ll trigger a vision, though. Scent. Sight. Sound. Something someone says… they don’t last that long. Usually. The effects of the brain itself last a few days, and you should be good for about a month. If you eat another brain before then, it’ll… overwrite the last one. If they’re too much for you, I suppose we could share different brains. Consuming more than one at a time, or having them blended as part of a meal? Pureed? It’s basically like white noise. No fun, but… safe.”
“Can we get drunk?” Asking the important questions, of course. If she couldn’t taste the alcohol, there were new opportunities to be had. And with her current situation, she was seeing a lot of those kind of nights in her future. The visions didn’t sound fun. Having someone else in her head? Feeling and acting like another person? At least it was only a few days. Emma took a bite, cringing even though there was no flavor. Just like she expected and like he’d told her, she was craving it, and she continued to eat it, not realizing just how starving she was until she’d started.
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“I knew I was in for the ride of my life.”
The Bachelorette Meme // @storybrookeswan
❛ The RIDE OF YOUR LIFE, ❜ Rebekah repeated, letting those words really sink in. ❛ Is that what you’re calling our quality time now? If so, it’s fitting. We’ve got great adventures to come, if you stay in New Orleans. ❜
Emma smiled sadly. It’s not the first time she’s heard these words, but this time it hit her harder because she was due to leave soon, and ride of her life was one hundred percent accurate. She’d meant it as a sort of goodbye, but Rebekah wasn’t having it. “That’s what you really want? More adventures with me?” She knew she’d been a pain in the ass in the beginning -- they both had. “What’s it worth to you?”
storybrookeswan reblogged
then there’s THIS CUTIE
he could see her side in this, being trapped in a role you didn’t care for must of been quite the burden. he had no way of relating to her, he didn’t feel trapped, the life liam had helped make for him was good, he was free, to do something important. escorting the princess on her travels was exciting at first– but now? how would he explain her disappearance to the king & queen? killian gulps once more, eyes staring back at her warily. “ you want to be free. ” he admits as if it were the most obvious statement. his mind travels back to another question, and while he wouldn’t judge her– couldn’t. there was something that hit more close to home than she could realize. “ what about your family? won’t you miss your parents? ” he pauses, avoiding her gaze for a moment. “ your brother? ” the lieutenant recalled seeing the lively child prince accompanying the rest of the royal family to see princess emma off. his eyes return to her, he couldn’t place himself in emma’s shoes, but he could place himself in prince leo’s, he couldn’t fathom not knowing where his older sibling was. “ what about him? ”
Yes, she wanted to be free. At least for a time. She could barely have an afternoon to herself these days, and it was maddening. Emma knew she had a responsibility, but it wasn’t one she chose to have. His questions were valid, though the Princess had a feeling he would not understand her side of things no matter how she answered. “Of course I will miss them. This is not necessarily forever. If I am expected to live in that castle for the rest of my life, I must do this.” Her eyes implored him to understand. Had she made a mistake in trusting him with this information? Should she have waited until it was time for her return to reveal her plan? It was too late now; all she could do was hope he would be willing to help her.
“i think i’m going crazy without you.” // lieutenant duckling
“Then don’t leave again.”