Knights And Lords ~ Audiomachine ~ Epica

"I am fiiiine, riov,” she slurred slightly, but her face told a quite different story. Cretak was not completely aware of how much vexation and anxiety marred her features, creating deep furrows in her brow. “…” The senator opened her mouth in a fashion foretelling something she wished to get off of her chest, but seemed to rethink it. “But you’re right,” she said shortly, and waved a hand, smiled a practiced smile, and set down the bottle of kali-fal she had been hoarding while her eyes glanced around for a pitcher of water.

Despite the warmth in her cheeks and the tingling sensation working its way through Toreth’s shoulders, the shadow marring Cretak’s expression did not escape her notice. Her mirth giving way to mild alarm, she waited patiently for Cretak to continue. However, the senator’s dismay was quickly hidden in favor of a smile that, if Toreth didn’t know any better, might have appeared genuine. But she was not fooled, for she was acutely familiar with such a brand of ‘fine.’

Once more offering the glass of water she held, the commander placed her free hand on her friend’s shoulder, leaning in close to keep the discussion private. “What is it that’s troubling you?” she whispered, her voice barely audible above the din of the crowd.

"That’s the spirit," she replied, smirking as the stubborn one disappeared.

When the riov presented herself arrayed in trousers and a button-up shirt, Cretak, she felt an inner sigh escape. Immediately, she realized they could stand to wait after all.

"Thank you," she answered smiling and with a glance down at the deep plum quarter-sleeve dress she was wearing. "And you look handsome, too, in your evening wear…" There was just a hint of hesitation, however. Cretak did not want to press too much nor was the outfit inappropriate nor homely; rather, she answered, “It’s just…” Still smiling, she gave a humorous shrug. “Would you care to try a dress for a change? A brilliant flame-red strapless dress perhaps? A dash of silver to accent her eyes? Tonight would be the perfect opportunity.”

By that she inferred: to experiment, since it was known to her that humans rather liked gaudier colors, or just happened to tolerate them more, than her folk did. But Cretak already suspected that trying to get Toreth to adopt the possibility was no less futile than trying to convince the Q to give up its omnipotence.

"A dress?" Toreth repeated, staring at Cretak incredulously. The notion of spending an entire evening at a Terran holiday party was dubious enough, but the thought of doing so without pants was downright horrifying.

"Oh no, I am much more comfortable in a good pair of pants. I’ve never been much of one for dresses," she explained, straightening her tie and smoothing her hair with a few quick strokes of her open palm. "For that matter, I’m not even sure I have any dresses on board with me. Any that I do still have are probably buried in the back of my closet in Mnaeha."

Trial of Humanity

The words could be construed as biting, but there was an undercurrent of a chuckle in Cretak’s tone. “Air and Fire, Toreth, it’s just a holosuite; it doesn’t bite.”

On second thought, Cretak did think back to the rather not infrequent mishaps she had heard of Starfleet having with their holosuites. With the safeties, with the programs gaining self-awareness.

"Although… I wonder when the day will come Starfleet will realize it’s made their holosuites a little too sophisticated.” It was, in its own perplexing way, somewhat fascinating how much flirtation was done, in her opinion, with unnecessary risk.

"I'm not concerned that it is going to bite me," Toreth returned with a sigh of chagrin, "I mean I never imagined I would be participating in such bizarre human customs, no matter where they might be taking place."

If she was being altogether honest, she knew her reluctance to partake in the holoprogram wasn't as closely tied to the activity itself as she perhaps made it seem. She did have her reservations about it, but her dignity had suffered far greater damage in her lifetime than could be dealt by an embarrassing Terran hobby. Though her facade might be one of stoic resignation, below the surface there churned a roiling, writhing sense of distress. Anxiety threatened to bubble to the surface, swept in on a tide of anger that she struggled to subdue, anger directed squarely at herself.

Stop it. Stop. it. Cretak isn't trying to screw you around or set you up. She isn't him, and she's going to think you hate her if you keep trying to weasel out of her invites.

Thus far the senator had been patient with her, but Toreth knew that she was making things terribly difficult. So it always was: someone would get too close, she would feel exposed, vulnerable...and would distance herself with a regrettably hurtful swiftness. She was good at it, too. Many old, formerly close friends had given up on her long ago, and though she knew she could likely mend things by reaching out to them, she never did. For her own heart's sake, it was better this way. She remained close with her officers partly out of necessity, and partly because they had all been burned in the same fire. Outside of this circle, however, she had deftly managed to shut everyone out until now.

Cretak had managed to wriggle through a gap in her defenses somehow, and, like clockwork, Toreth found herself grappling with the irrational urge to push away as hard as possible. She knew she was being ridiculous, and that was the worst thing about it. She knew that, she could see the pattern, but it was insidious. It was so much easier, so much safer to withdraw. To spend her free time reading in solitude or getting extra work done. To politely decline with a 'maybe next time' until whoever it was stopped trying to suggest a next time.

But she liked Cretak, and she did not wish to chase her away, not really. She enjoyed her company, her unusual approach to the current state of political affairs and, for that matter, she enjoyed having someone to speak to who was separated from the Khazara's command structure. But always there was the spectre of betrayal lurking within the dark corners of Toreth's mind, a charismatically malicious voice whispering constant reminders that decades of service and friendship were all a farce. After all, the only ones who can betray us are those we trust-

She smothered the notion before it grew deafening.

Just...try to behave like a normal person, she scolded herself. It isn't Cretak's fault that there's something wrong with you. 

"Well, I suppose if it does malfunction on us, that might be the impetus they need to reconsider the programming in these things," she joked, doing her best to swallow down her inner turmoil. "I can picture the embarrassing headlines already."

Perspectives, Nikita Gill (via untamedunwanted)

new year's / new year's eve starters

It's the New Year's Eve Party and our characters are the only ones there who don't have someone to kiss at midnight!

What’s your character’s reaction to realizing this? Do they ask to kiss mine? Do they offer? Do they make a joke about it? Message me what they do for my character’s reaction! 

Ⓦ

Elements by Cathrine Langwagen