i’m literally in HYSTERICS over this righr nowhdjahkshdjshsjs

in tonight’s edition of very specific kinds of people i can’t fucking stand:

 men who drive fucking gigantic shiny pickups that they obviously just have as ego-boosters who fucking tailgate you on an empty stretch of freeway at night and they’ve replaced their headlights with fucking military-grade 500 proton scatter billion lumen searchlights that they fucking utterly blind you with while honking for you to get out of your lane because they just desperately have to go a full 40 miles over the speed limit or their dick will just jump clean off their balls and hurl itself out their window in shame

Xhdjdkdkdodoror

gia in the confessional: lemme squash this beef peacefully :)

gia irl:

At Subway...

Me: And can I have extra mustard please

Worker: Sure just tell me when…..

Me: 

Worker:

Me: Okay that’s good, thanks…. 

Worker: *not stopping* *orgasming* 

Me: STOP THAT’S TOO MUCH

Worker: *Still adding mustard*

Me:

Worker: Great! Thanks! The magic word! 

Worker: Would you like anything else?

Me: 

Worker: Okay that’ll be $7.50

Me: *pays* 

Mom: Where is my fucking change?

This is so dumb i should not be laughing this hard

i live for this dramatique telanovela valentina’s serving

this right here is GOOD reality tv

Valentina vs Monét X Change 

….😱

This just made me spit laugh.. this game is incredible. 🤣🤣

She walked it off though.