Where the blop things are

There's this perception on here among neurodivergent people that neurotypical social behaviour is all fake and arbitrary. That it's a cruel, baseless game played to "weed out" ND people or to cause pain and complicate things on purpose.

This is wrong. All of those social rules and nuances ARE communication. Sorry if this is rude but it's not the NTs' fault if things don't gel- the gap goes both ways. Just because communication doesn't make sense to you, doesn't mean it's random or purposeless. Remember this post?

Every interaction in an NT conversation has purpose, and communicates something, and I don't understand why nobody ever explains this to ND people. There's information on basic stuff like facial expressions, but never what any of it actually means.

Small talk about the weather isn't about the weather. It's about how nice it is to be around the people you're talking to, or feeling out their understanding of the world, or just saying that you're both present and people and you're being people together. It's not literal. The words are, but the broad scope isn't.

A conversation is not just an exchange of words, it's an exchange of acknowledgement, attention, and emotional understanding. Of course it confuses people when their part in that exchange is met with flat affect or unembelished words. It's like looking in a mirror and not seeing your reflection.

When I first actually had small talk explained to me it was revolutionary for me. It always felt so pointless and annoying. But it serves a purpose.

For people I already know, I may not have friendship degradation with time, but other people do, and I need to perform maintenance to upkeep my relationships, and small talk is an easy, formulaic way to do that. It shows you're interested in hearing about the other person's life in a way that is by default a shared experience.

For people I don't know yet, it defaults to a topic we have shared ground on, and allows both parties to feed in details about their lives that might also be shared experiences.

For example: it's rainy. The other person mentions how their hair gets frizzy in the rain. You can just say that sucks, sorry they deal with that, and show you care about their plight and still end the conversation quickly and have benefited.

OR you can continue, saying yours does too, this is what you do about it, or ask what they do, again leaning into the shared experience. Then maybe that leads to sharing tools or skills and helping each other, and helping one another is the absolute best for bonding and maintaining bonds.

OR you can continue, saying at least the rain won't last long, you have plans tomorrow, and you can talk about that.

Small talk is turning towards your conversation partner, rather than turning away, and that is EXTREMELY valuable in relationship building.

The one that makes me nuts is mfers who can't grasp that "hi, how you doin'" with the reply "hi, how you doin'," is just a verbal handshake and also a very North American phenomenon. Buddy is walking past you in a hall, hits you with this as he keeps walking, and you think he wants to talk? You cannot grasp that this is the verbal equivalent of a wave? I'm begging you.

I'm AuDHD but I moved countries several times as a kid so I always had to relearn social norms for the local culture and going to an international school at one point meant learning several different norms per person. There is no One True NT culture. You think everyone everywhere are "hi, how you doin'?" each other? No! Most people, globally, think the NA social niceity culture is unhinged. So all these conversations about social norms are also woefully USA-centric.

"Oh but it's not literal. It's not logical."

Small talk is almost always a script! You can literally learn it by rote! Why are you mad?! I love small talk, I know exactly what to say and it's just shaking hands to show I'm friendly and part of the group.

And if you do it right in NA you can segue insanely rapidly into interesting chitchat with strangers who will tell you all kinds of personal shit. For free! Like half an episode of a telenovela you'll never see the rest of. Fascinating!

The slow dance - 26x32” acrylic on canvas.

Please help Mohamed evacuate his family out of Gaza to safety! Share his gofundme and donate if you can!!

Another fundraiser you should give your attention is this fundraiser brought to me by Safaa Al-Khatib.

She discusses her story in more detail on her tumblr, @safaakhateeb, which you should follow and support.

Safaa is a photographer from Gaza, whose life was brought to a standstill by the war. She has two daughters and a husband, Muhammad Al-Thalathiini, who is a photojournalist. Ever since the start of the war, they have lost everything they own, and have been forced to stay on the run, evading the ruthless aggression by the Israeli military.

Safaa wants to get her family out of Gaza and make sure that her daughters have a normal childhood and a brighter future. She also wants to ensure that her mother, who is unfortunately ill, can receive proper treatment. In their current conditions, food is hard to come by, and clean water and sanitation is extremely scarce, which can make her mother's illness worse. Not to mention an extreme scarcity of medical resources after Israel has destroyed all health infrastructure in Gaza.

(ID in ALT)

You can support Safaa and her family, by following her on tumblr, sharing her posts where she discusses her family's situation, and by donating to her fundraiser if you can. If you cannot donate, it's so important to keep sharing!

I left Gaza for Italy due to an invitation to participate in the World Championship and represent Palestine. I was skating as a professional amateur. The World Championship organization contacted me to participate. I was supposed to get one of the winning positions, but I did not participate because of the war because my mind is scattered and I am always in a state of chaos and worried for the sake of my family and my family. Gaza, but my life is not life. I always think and do not sleep because of thinking about my family. I lost my father, but will the rest of my family live or be killed? I do not know my mind. I cannot control it, so my family must be taken out to get some comfort and safety. This is my picture when I am in Gaza. I hope you support me for the sake of my family. In order to return to life a little

one of the top 10 peter jackson's creative choices was seeing the one (1) sentence about the beacons being lit in RotK and going "I'm going to film a scene that is so absolutely iconic based on this"

How much you wanna bet that the driver was either a cop or was friends with a cop?

Continue Escalating

Do not stop talking about Palestine until the US is forced to change that "may have" to "has". Don't give up, don't infight, and don't forget that Palestine will be free within our lifetimes. We are on the way there.

urgente, meow meow meow

Maybe it's just miserable

simply dont monday

i just saw the tag “canon complicit” instead of “canon compliant” and im laughing its like “canon is a criminal act that i unfortunately support with this fic”

The Three Grades:

Canon Compliant: “This fic goes along with canon.” (Because I like it? Because I’m too tired to disagree by writing my own fic? Who knows? The author may or may not tell us.)

Canon Compatible: “Listen, I know it ISN’T canon, but think of it as Microsoft Office for Mac, it’s COMPATIBLE with canon, and that counts.”

Canon Complicit: “I have not died a hero, so I have become an accessory to the Villainy of Canon.”

Canon Compatible is a great term for when your fic is Probably Not What Tolkien Would Have Wanted but it doesn’t really contradict anything in canon either

#you can install this fic without canon crashing and that’s what matters

I’m sorry but this is so funny