She shrugged. “I didn’t think they were that bad. I was way worse than that when I was their age. And Ric was even worse than me and I managed not to kill him, so. I can handle it.”

"The thing about them is that I always felt there's a healthy amount of caring what other people think.  Because, you know, if you didn't care at all you'd not respect other people.  Their problem is they have each other.  So they've never had a need to worry if people liked them or not.  It's good for the confidence and bad for their manners.  Still, they're good."  She chuckled as she walked into the dining room.

.:In Search of Answers:.

"No, I get that. Though I think my parents wouldn’t have cared too much who I dated, jus’ as long as I didn’t start dating til I was 30. Or maybe they would have, I’ll never know. I’d like to think that if they were super accepting of me being a mutant then they’d be accepting of everything else." She said with a small chuckle. "I don’t feel ashamed by it, I jus’ I wasn’t sure is mostly what it is. I’ve spent most of my life knowing who I was until M-Day jus’ completely shook everything up an’ I’ve been second guessing myself a lot since then. This was jus’ another one of those things, I guess." 

"Hm?" She said breaking thought for a moment. "I dunno. I think I’m more attracted to the personality? Like obviously I’m not incredibly hung up on appearances, my boyfriend doesn’t have a mouth an’ it doesn’t make me love him any less. I think it’s an attraction to people who temper me out or maybe rile me up. People who make me really feel something. Though regardless, taller has to be one of the requirements. Has to. I’m not sure it has as much to do with gender as it has to do with the individual. But if I had to pick something, attraction wise, I’ve always been a fan of curves. I like drawing them, an’ I guess it gives me an excuse to look."

"Even when we have great parents, we're still subject to how society thinks we should be.  No one makes room for the gay," she snorted.  "It's 'oh she's going to have to beat the boys away with a stick' or 'someday when you marry a man' or 'when you and your husband have kids.'  It's not malicious or intentional.  It's just... how they view your future.  They see in you what they have obtained and enjoy for themselves.  They want a bright future for you and that involves meeting a nice man and getting married and having babies.  Just because a parent might accept that that man is a woman because they're open minded doesn't mean they don't raise you that way."

She cleared her throat, realizing she was babbling.  "But you say you aren't ashamed and I believe you.  But even if you're not ashamed it's weird.  You thought you were one way.  Everyone said you were one way.  And you're another.  It's hard to know if it's real or if it's a phase or if you've made it up in your mind.  But if you feel that way, I doubt it's nothing."

She paused thoughtfully.  "Female personalities are nice.  It's odd because men can share all the same traits but it's not the same.  There's something about the female energy, the passion, the fire and the outgoingness, the sassiness, how she does the opposite when you tell her to do something..."  She seemed to have taken on a faraway smile.

 disability fest [23/31]   karma // amputee

marvel comics meme: eight/ten characters → Xi’an Coy Manh

Karma the New Mutant by Peter-v-Nguyen

T-Tabitha...

... Letmesee.

"Julian Keller and Noriko Ashida, they’re actin’ funny."

"Acting funny how?  ... You're not asking me to peek into their minds are you?  Noriko I could probably handle but Julian'd kick me out and punish me with nasty imagery on my way out."

.:In Search of Answers:.

Jubilee nodded in return, listening intently as Shan spoke. A lot of things were clicking, things she thought were one way and recently began thinking were another. Realizing that maybe she sometimes had a harder time dealing with other women not because they were other women but because she was denying something about herself without really knowing it.

"No…" She said with a soft but short laugh. "No judging here. It’s jus’…" A vase caught her attention for a brief moment before she looked to Shan. "I guess it felt like maybe it came out of nowhere but the more I think about it the more I realize maybe it really didn’t." Rambling, stupid nervous rambling. "I mean, I love boys but I think maybe I could fall for anyone. Find a real attraction. For a long time I thought it was jus’ an appreciation for the human form because I was an artist, but it wasn’t exactly that, you know? Am I making sense? This is why I needed to talk it out. I don’t know if what I’m saying makes sense. I wanted someone else’s perspective."

"We're taught from a very early age to think that we are going to end up with someone of the opposite sex, Jubilee.  To the point where any deviation from that feels... Off.  It's especially hard for someone like you, who does like men, who can just... ignore that aspect of themselves entirely to a certain extent.  That sounds like it would be easier, but I personally don't think it is.  Because being forced to face who you truly are is liberating.  To be allowed to ignore it just leaves a place inside you where you occasionally have to wonder what's wrong with you, if you were made incorrectly and there's nothing to make you seek the truth. Accepting that truth feels like willingly opening yourself to discrimination, though."

She paused.  "... So tell me, what is it about the ladies that makes you think they might be for you?" she smiled.

"I thought all twins had those." Tabby rolled her eyes with a small smile. "I’ll make sure not to do anything bad. Promise."

She turned back to Shan and shrugged. “I don’t think I did, actually. I might be part of the club of dead New Mutants now, it’s a real shame.” She giggled. “They’re not that bad.”

"No they aren't, they're good kids.  Take care of me more than vice versa these days but they can be... off putting I suppose," she said and took her hand, leading her to the dining room.  "If they pick on you just... pick back."

"Um." It had only been a couple weeks. She wasn’t sure if she could really say that it was serious yet. She hadn’t even been sure just how much Shan liked her. 

"I’m not gonna hurt her." That much at least she could promise. "I like her too."

"Good, we'd hate to destroy you with our evil twin powers," Nga nodded.

"Which we totally have," Leong agreed.

"Okay," Shan said, walking in, "It's about done, why don't you two go set the table."  They grinned and hurried off to the dining room.  "Did you survive?"

"No letting the brats get away with stuff, understood." 

Tabby blushed a bit and nodded slowly. “Yeah.” It was still a pretty new thing. She had barely gotten used to it herself, and she was already meeting the family for dinner. “Guess it is a thing, huh?” She smiled at them. 

"So... would you say it's serious?" Nga asked.

"Cause she seems to really like you," Leong added.

"So, you know..."

"We just want to make sure..."

"You won't hurt her."

They faced her down with all the adorableness of the twins at the end of the hall in The Shining.

"No idea at all." Tabby grinned and gave a little wave to the two of them as she walked into the room. 

"Hey." She giggled at the comment. "I’m sure we will. We’re kind of awful, we got it coming." She shrugged. It wasn’t nearly as bad and nerve-wracking as she had thought it would be. 

"We uh, actually met before. Not just the night that we went clubbing. I was sorta in someone else’s body though, so I don’t think you guys’d remember me." That had been an interesting mission. 

"We're under strict instructions to repress all X-Men related memories," Nga nodded.

"Oh, hush," Shan made a face, "She'll think I abuse you.  I have to check on the dinner, please don't let them get away with anything."

Shan hurried to the kitchen and the twins looked over at Tabby in tandem with matching smirks.

"So..." Nga prefaced.

"You and our sister..." Leong followed up.

"That's a thing I see..." Nga nodded.

Tabby gaped for a moment, opening and closing her mouth in shock. She had no idea how to respond to that. There were a lot of questions she had prepared herself for, mostly things that she had been asked by Paige when she was a teenager. That wasn’t one of them. 

She shot Shan a smile when she showed up, shooing the two teenagers away from the door. “S’okay.” She followed her inside with a grin. “They’re uh. Definitely interesting kids.” 

"He was joking, he's just trying to shake us both up," she reassured her, "They're both sarcastic jerks, I can't imagine where they get it..."

She lead her into the living room where both twins were standing.

"Is this where you blow the whistle and we introduce ourselves?" Nga asked.

"This is where you drop your smart mouth and act appropriately," Shan said.

Nga barely caught the eyeroll before it happened and stopped it and Shan gave her a warning look.

"I'm Nga or Nan at school," she said.

"Leong, but the Americans have dubbed me Leo.  They will suffer when we take over."

"... Leong."

"Nicetomeetyou."

Tabby wasn’t sure why she was so nervous. She had met people’s families before. She spent weeks on the farm with Sam when they were dating. And she already knew Shan’s siblings, it wasn’t like this was her first time meeting them. 

She took a deep breath and knocked on the door, waiting to see who would answer it. She really hoped it would be Shan.

It was not, unfortunately.  The twins had played a game of who could answer the door first with Shan for years and when the twins won they got to embarrass their sister.

The twin faces were side by side when the door was opened and they just stared at her before Leong spoke up.  "Are you our new Mommy?"

Rapid fire Vietnamese with a little bit of French mixed in shouted from further in the apartment and they darted away quickly as Shan approached, looking after them with a huff.

"Sorry, come in," she said sheepishly.

.:In Search of Answers:.

She started to relax a bit, hands no longer tugging at each other as if they were trying to wring the sweat out. The girl gave a quick nod, choosing now to find a seat and take it. It would probably be easier to let Shan do the talking first before she said her piece.

Getting another perspective was usually a good way to go. Legs crossed with her pale hands resting on her knees. She’d take a deep breath if it was actually something she needed. “Yeah. Could you?”

She nodded.  "Actually the first time I had an inkling was coming to the school and meeting Dani," she winked and put a finger to her lips, "Don't tell her, she'd never let me live it down.  But she was beautiful and so strong and confidant and... beautiful.  At first I thought I wanted to BE her but... over time I realized it was much more complicated. I... left the group for awhile pretty soon after."  She shifted, obviously something she wasn't comfortable talking about, "And by the time I came back I think my little crush had cleared up but it certainly got the ball rolling."

Shan shifted and folded her legs underneath her, turning to face Jubes a little more.  "I had a few little crushes here and there and began to become a little more self accepting each time but I finally had to give in at college.  I sort of got adopted by a little lesbian couple."  She chuckled.  "They were nice to me and I figured they couldn't be too depraved or perverted.  Once I accepted them for who they were it was much easier.  And eveeeeentually I got inducted into the relationship and we were polyamorous, oh gosh, that makes my face burn to say it..."  She was, indeed, blushing.

.:In Search of Answers:.

Crossing the threshold finally, she made her way into the room, shoulders boxed very closely to her neck, a rare show of questioning herself. Usually she was much better at hiding things like this. “It is… I think.”

The girl looked to her feet, refusing to sit down even if she hadn’t been asked to. Standing was easier, it was something to focus on and not fall back into. Not that this was hard, at least it shouldn’t have been hard.

"I—" Again with the delays. She mentally prodded herself to word it as best she could. "How did you know…" That was a better start. "How did you know you preferred girls over guys?" Her shoulders slumped now that the question was out.

Her face expressed a little bit of surprise before she smiled gently, getting comfortable once she was able to tell just what kind of conversation they were having.

"I see..." she said in the warmest tone she could.  The last thing she wanted was for Jubilee to feel judged.  "Well... I think part of me always knew.  I've always favored women over men in some way, always appreciated women more.  But as far as real, full knowledge of how I was?  It wasn't until I got to college.  The thing is, though, it was never just an epiphany.  It was a long road of self discovery and admissions to thinks I perhaps did not want to believe.  If you want, I can go over things that helped me realize the truth?"