They say you die three times, first when the body dies, second, when your body enters the grave, and third, when your name is spoken for the last time. You were a normal person in life, but hundreds of years later, you still haven’t had your “third” death. You decide to find out why.

You sold some shitty copper, man, I don’t know what to tell you

❗⚠️❗ERROR❗⚠️❗

Potato

this user is potato

i still think about "aye moira am oan the protein" way too often

i love this because 1. wisdom, you player!!! 2. i did not think people magazine would ever cover wisdom the albatross

You’ve heard of one shots, now get ready for none shots! It’s when you think of an idea for a fic and then don’t write it

#not to brag but im so fckn good at this

Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy being like, "I am 100% committed to respecting your 'no', but I heard you wouldn't promise my aunt not to marry me so I had to come and check just one (1) more time."

*emerges from the other room covered in blood* you should see the word document

does it look like this

I, of mostly sound body and spirit, request that if I’m ever to die, someone post a new work on my AO3 that says “sorry, she died, ongoing stories postponed forever” because don’t I want my fanfic buddies to think I ghosted them. Amen or whatever you say in a will.

This was written as a joke, but for those who don't know, this is an actual optional service that AO3 provides called Fannish Next of Kin.

Someone I know not well enough to voice my opinion on the subject said something like why didn’t God make potatoes a low-calorie food so I am here to say: God made them like that because their nutrition density IS what makes them healthy. By God I mean Andean agricultural technicians. Potato is healthy BECAUSE potato holds calories and vitamins. Do not malign potato

For all evolutionary history, life has struggled against calorie deficit… So much energy goes into finding food that there is no time for anything else. Our ancestors selectively bred root vegetables to create the potato, so that we might be the first species whose daily existence doesn’t consist of trying to find the nutrients necessary for survival. One potato can rival the calorie count of many hours of foraging… Eat a potato, and you free up so much time to create and build and connect with your fellow man. Without potato where would you be?? Do not stand on the shoulders of giants and think thyself tall!!

I nearly teared up reading “Andean agricultural technicians” bc fuck yes! these were members of Pre-Inca cultures who lived 7 to 10 thousand years ago, and they were scientists! food scientists and researchers and farmers whose names and language we can never know, who lived an inconceivably long time ago (pre-dating ancient civilizations in Egypt, China, India, Greece, and even some parts of Mesopotamia) and we are separated by millennia of time and history, but still for thousands of years the fruits vegetables of their labor and research have continued to nourish countless human lives, how is that not the most earthly form of a true miracle??? anyway yes potatoes are beautiful, salute their creators.

There are approximately 4000 varieties of potato in Peru. I’ve seen an incredible variety of corn and tomatoes, and root vegetables I’ve never seen before, on the local farmer markets. Yet some expats insist on buying only imported, expensive American brands of canned veggies… 🤷🏼‍♀️ Peruvian potatoes 👇🏼

“Po-TAY-toes.”

my mom was trying to chew through some really tough steak and she turned to me and said “just call me The Gnawer.” she would do numbers here

she told me she doesn't remember saying this. quote, "must have been steak-induced hysteria"

5 year anniversary of the miette post \o/

995 years left on mother's sentence

fixed it

Miss Congeniality (2000) Dir. Donald Petrie

maybe monsterfucker erotica doesn't need a plot but it certainly gives the whole thing a bit more substance

me being fascinated by the complex political caste system in the getting-rawed-by-two-dragons book