super bowl

[Excerpt compiled from MBMBaM 437: A Silent Chug. Press J to automatically scroll past long transcript!]

Griffin: Uh, Travis has, uh, set up, uh, “buttercupisagood”…”good”…”girl”…

Travis: “buttercupisaverygoodgirl.com”! And let me say this–

Griffin: Tops.

Travis: –uh, we have got ourselves a second dog. Her name is Lily, she is ALSO a very good girl, dot com, and as soon as I get enough pictures of her, I will be building another Squarespace website called “lilyisaverygoodgirl.com”–I should go buy that now before this episode goes up–

Griffin: Yes.

Travis: –and just go ahead and sit on that–

Griffin: I mean, the real competition, I think, is you need to do it before Justin does it, ‘cause he–

Travis: Oh, no!

Griffin: –yeah, the, Juice, the race is on, if you’ve recovered, and are able to [indecipherable]

Travis: Alright, well, he’s gonna be way faster at it than me! Oh, sorry, I’m racing Justin!

Griffin: Yeah, I can’t wait to see the results of this.

Travis: I’m just gonna lose it, he needs this. Umm–

Justin: I NEED it? I don’t– I don’t need your CHARITY!

Travis: [a single loud lumberjack guffaw]

Justin: Don’t need your CHARITY.

Travis: Okay, then, you read the next one while Iiiiiii get it.

Justin: Alright, yeah, you grab it, Trav. Go for, it bud! Get it, Trav, get it! I don’t have it!

Travis: Oh no, did you already get it?!

Griffin: [the delighted cackling of a crow]

Justin: You have any troubles getting it, bud?

Travis: [slightly higher pitch] Did you already get it?!

Justin: Aww, bud, I got it three weeks ago, bud!

Griffin: [ascends to a higher plane of corvine joy]

Travis: No…

Justine: No, I got it when you adopted the dog, bud!

Travis: Oh, no…

Justin: You shouldn’t have texted me that you were getting a dog before you got the URL of your dog! OBVIOUSLY!

Travis: oh, no………..

im so tired…………

This happens often

Wheeee!

So this has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it three days ago.

this is the polar opposite of Everybody Knows Shits Fucked

i didn’t know this til i looked up the video on youtube, but this dude is a super cool and accomplished musician! his name is Rushad Eggleston–wikipedia describes him as “an innovative musician who has changed the way the cello is played,“ but according to his personal website he’s a “cello goblin & otherworldly jester currently touring earth” 

not to be dramatic but when he chuckled i fell in love with this man. i’m a whole entire lesbian but this is the cutest human being on the entire planet. i’d marry him. that’s a controversial statement and all my fellow lesbians are free to come into my home and shred my shoes or put me in gay jail deep in the redwood forest. i accept that. i accept whatever judgement must be made upon me by the laws of this gay land but know that i will stand before that jury of my peers with no regret and i will accept whatever is done to me in the name of love for this Tofu-Loving Cello Goblin

I haven’t been able to get the full video but we just celebrated one of our steam locomotives turning 145 by chucking a chocolate cake into her firebox

Fun Fact 399

French and Japanese laws prohibit the media from publishing images of suspects in handcuffs as it implies guilt and undermines the presumption of innocence until proven guilty. Although not legally compelled, South Korean media companies similarly pixelate or blur handcuffs on suspects out of respect for the presumption of innocence. This is in contrast to the United States where the “perp walk” has historically been used to bolster public support for prosecutors.

for the last……..i don’t know, 5 or so years, my m.o. regarding internet bisexual disourse has largely been to ignore it and encourage other bi people to do the same. it made sense to me because as far as i could see it was an issue that exclusively existed on this site. which isn’t to say i didn’t think it was harmful - i hated myself for years as a direct result of the things other lgbt people said about bisexual women on here - but i thought the harm could largely be avoided by blocking the few loudmouths who were trying to start shit and hanging with people who weren’t evil.

i no longer feel that way.

i no longer feel that way because, as of yesterday, you absolute fucking buffoons have ran your mouth so far that your fire new radical materialist feminist discourse so hot even fellow lgbts cant handle????????? has reached lena fucking dunham

do you want to know WHY your radical materialist feminist discourse reached lena dunham?????

because a bisexual journalist made this simple ass tweet

and in response, some straight white woman decided to tweet this

which would have just stayed straight nonsense if an extremely smart and clever white lesbian writer friend of hers hadn’t decided to join in with a searing hot take based on a radical perspective towards gender that could only have been achieved with her clearly useful phd in queer literature

which would have just stayed mildly irritating if she and the rest of her friends hadn’t proceeded to defend themselves by arguing that bi women deserve rape and abuse actually

which would have only been horrifyingly offensive if all of these people weren’t 1.) people who make money writing about lgbt shit that 2.) were tweeting from their work accounts where 3.) they have enough reach to be followed by actually influential people such as comrade lena dunham

so seeing as the “close your eyes and maybe itll go away” method has CLEARLY failed, i am genuinely pleased to announce my new tactic. its called

“I Am Going To Spread The CDC Stats on Bisexual Assault and Abuse Everywhere Until It’s So Well Known Every Bisexual Has It Memorized and is Pissed as Hell About It” 

Can I also just draw out here that their argument is LITERALLY that “women who sleep with men deserve what happens to them.” 

Like. 

This kind of person is, straight (haha) up, the kind of person who is only here for “I want mine”. If they’d been born a straight guy they’d be the worst kind of bros. 

This is a thing that happens: I know PLENTY of straight white women whose grasp of feminism is limited strictly to “this affects me, so it’s important”. And of every other stripe of identity. 

But never mistake it for anything than what it is. 

COLLAB WITH BDG (soundcloud)

Yaknow some koopa eggs hatched this weekend :O

i’m getting notifications for comments/reblogs of posts i tagged someone in or replied to, but from literally everyone who interacts with the post, even from other posters???? @staff WHY is your website like this

It’s bullshit, happened to me too, but you can disable it thankfully. Go to the notes and there should be a lightning bolt icon you can click on to unsubscribe

Battle Angel design, feat. real-life angel @bitwisdom !!