me, with tears in my eyes: time to make a joke

Pedophiles are evil. No discourse, no debate, no further questions. You get off to ruining children’s lives. Die. No excuses.

I’m ok. I’m gonna be ok. I’m gonna live a beautiful life and I’ll get to know beautiful people. I will create things of beauty and be surrounded by flowers. And I’ll love myself, and I’ll be soft, I’ll be kind. And I’ll be ok.

i never look at anyone like the way i look at you

12.12.17//5 more days

Sweetheart,

I haven’t wrote in some time. I want to tell you how much i love you. I want you to know that you are the biggest gift I could ever receive, and I will spend forever treating you the way you deserve. I fail sometimes, but I never doubt my love for you, and how far our love will take us. Goddamn. 413 days. That’s where we started. We have 5 now. 5 days until the wait is over. Until the gavel is lifted, until I am yours. It hasnt been easy. We’ve gone through more shit in one year, than a regular couple would go in a lifetime. You’ve changed me. You continue to make me into the best person I can be, and I am so grateful for your support. When everyone has abandoned me, you’ve stayed. You’re in my corner, fighting for me. Fighting with me. I’d be lost without you, and I wish I could do this without hurting you. I want to protect you from everything. I wish this was easy, I wish we lived in a world where who you loved didn’t matter. I am so in love with you. I look into your eyes, and I feel content and joy. Everything around is me is raging noise, everyone around me is shouting at me, telling me to run. But you? You whisper to me, I am not going anywhere, I am in your corner. And everytnjng is quiet. All I see, all I hear, is you now. I never expected a love like this, you are my girl. I love everything about you, all sides of you. and baby, it’s only up from here. My sweet girl, I left my heart back home with you and I am finally on the way to get it. It’s us against the world. I will never give up on you, I will always listen and be gentle. I will never walk away, because the only place I belong is home with you.

I’ve tried to be strong, to mask my fear so that you can feel peace. But you can tell when something is wrong, and you bear my burdens with me. I’m scared, baby. this is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I feel so heavy hearted, and so anxious. the only thing keeping me afloat right now is your support. Thank you. Thank you for selflessly loving me for a whole year. Thank you for abondoning your life before me, and living mine beside me. Even if that meant hiding who you were at times. I love you. You’re the most incredible woman I know, and I will never let you go. I’m in tears because of how deep my love is for you. We found our way back to each other, and god, I am never leaving you. us against the odds. us against everything. I will love you until my lungs give out.

Yours,

Bek.

I dont like using the expression, “ I need her “

I’ve felt I needed people before who I come to realize I never even did.

but oh my god, I want her. I want every inch of her. 

I want to know why she chose that answer on a test or why she made that unbeliveably stupid decision that day she didn’t have her head on straight.

why does she cry when she thinks she is in trouble? or what is going on in her pretty little head whenever she is sleeping. I want to know what makes her tick. 

I’ve loved her for almost an entire year and she’s never raised her voice above a  level 2 at me and I’ve never seen her so mad at me she could walk away and never look back.

I want to know what gets under her skin so bad that she considers the silent treatment. 

I can annoy her and when she demands an apology I have no choice but to either tell her or show her how she is the only human being I want to annoy for the rest of what used to be my miserable life.

she is is the only reason to loose sleep and the best reason to wake up. 

she’s the only human to show me that my self worth, comes from myself. she is only there to help and cushion the everyday blows of this shitty world, and to kiss me every chance she gets

unconditional love is what its called.

its lack of sleep for the last week, but still answers when I selfishly call her at 3am because I’m pondering every thought in my head and I just need to hear her voice.

its her voice, the calm and gentle reassurance that everything won’t be okay, but we will. 

that no matter the storm ahead, she is my safe place to stay.

id risk it all for these moments with her.

she is pure. she is beautiful. she is mine.

if she decided she no longer wanted to be mine, I couldn’t hate her. id have to understand, because someone this wonderful shouldn’t ever live a second unhappy. 

I feel as if my purpose now is to make sure her smile never fades, only grows. and that he is shown everyday how wonderful she is in the eyes of everyone she comes into contact with.

thank you, for being you. its the best gift i’ve ever received. the only gift I’ve never considered returning. 

its the gift I will die with, cherish and hold so close I can’t ever loose it.

my girl.

do you ever lay in bed and realise how not okay you are ?

i don’t need to lay in bed to realize that

bro, i dont even care anymore. fuck it! *continues to try very hard*