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A Talkative Chikorita

@flormootalks / flormootalks.tumblr.com

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saber153 asked:

You gonna move to FA and Twitter once tumblr drops the hammer mate?

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Furaffinity, Twitter and Newgrounds, mainly.

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reblogged
dwinge-loo
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pandaaamonium14

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

oh my god these are great

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princemetalthunder

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes

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Is it wrong of me to seek out complete and utter isolation? To separate myself from people, with the intent of improving myself as an artist and an individual?

I feel like as every day passes, I want more and more to be alone. To live in total silence and isolation from everything, and to worry only about work, and myself. Emotions toward others - like compassion - are exhausting, and I feel as though it's about time I truly do something I feel will benefit me as an artist.

I would still do commissions, although communication would be limited to strictly work related instances. I feel as though this would improve things, because my general demeanor is lackluster and I have a habit of letting things like my feelings dominate my ability to do work, and in a lot of cases recently, do any drawing at all. People are also extremely distracting, which is completely and totally out of their control.

Most-everyone I confide this fact to tell me its too extreme. That these lengths aren't required of me for success. In my head, I feel as though they only say these things because they are afraid of losing me, or think that I will hurt myself.

Part of me wishes deeply that I had the ability to care less. To not consider their feelings at all. Is that cruel of me? Does that mean i don't care about them? I consider them my friends. I love them. At the same time though, I crave this extreme, utter silence. Have I not went ahead with my wishes because of compassion? Or have i convinced myself to feel this way because of desperality, and I am subconciously trying to protect myself from myself.

Perhaps this is all driven by depression. My thoughts on the matter may also be skewed by the opinions of some other artists I greatly appreciate. I just want to feel proud of myself.

I want to feel like i've done well.

I want to meet my own expectations, regardless of how high they are.

Why can't I see any other way?

#vent
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I'd love to put it in your pooper right now, but honestly this Aristotle book won't read itself.

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reblogged
eldiablocabra
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dajo42

why does bart do that voice in this moment and why have i been laughing about it for five fucking hours

ya meen iddaint me noggin issme peepuhs? ohh well thas just Luverlee

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