Update: I've gotten plenty of requests for modding this blog. I'm looking through people now to see who I want to add on.
infj-problems reblogged
Mod Search
Hi all,
I’ve had this blog for years… and I’ve posted maybe a couple dozen messages. Despite my complete lack of blog maintenance, this blog now has a surprisingly large following. I feel rather badly for not doing much with it.
So, I’d like to open the door and let others reply to submissions too. If you’d be interested in doing this, message this blog and let me know. Just a couple requirements:
- 18 years old or older
- Identifies as/with the “INFJ” label
- Is willing to write a message to my personal blog promising they will keep information from asks/submissions about the bloggers who submit them confidential, unless the blogger asks explicitly otherwise to not hide their URL. (Similarly, promise not to use information shared with the blog as any kind of blackmail or send judgmental/hurtful asks to any blogger)
- I will give preference to people who have run or currently run some kind of “INFJ blog”, and the first 100 people to follow this blog. I’ll also give slight preference to people who can claim in their notice of interest that they have a fair amount of spare time.
If you get chosen, I’ll give you more details later (small stuff like signing posts, etiquette for answering questions, etc.)
I’m currently looking for 2 new mods. I’ve made an offer as well to someone else, so there should be 3 new faces around here soon!
I should probably get in the habit of signing like this then… :P
- Admin Andy
Reblogging because either people didn't see this or aren't interested? I've gotten a grand total of one message of interest...
Mod Search
Hi all,
I've had this blog for years... and I've posted maybe a couple dozen messages. Despite my complete lack of blog maintenance, this blog now has a surprisingly large following. I feel rather badly for not doing much with it.
So, I'd like to open the door and let others reply to submissions too. If you'd be interested in doing this, message this blog and let me know. Just a couple requirements:
- 18 years old or older
- Identifies as/with the "INFJ" label
- Is willing to write a message to my personal blog promising they will keep information from asks/submissions about the bloggers who submit them confidential, unless the blogger asks explicitly otherwise to not hide their URL. (Similarly, promise not to use information shared with the blog as any kind of blackmail or send judgmental/hurtful asks to any blogger)
- I will give preference to people who have run or currently run some kind of "INFJ blog", and the first 100 people to follow this blog. I'll also give slight preference to people who can claim in their notice of interest that they have a fair amount of spare time.
If you get chosen, I'll give you more details later (small stuff like signing posts, etiquette for answering questions, etc.)
I'm currently looking for 2 new mods. I've made an offer as well to someone else, so there should be 3 new faces around here soon!
I should probably get in the habit of signing like this then... :P
- Admin Andy
I have been having this incredible dilemma in my life for the past two years now. I am an incredibly indecisive person, which with my Judging function makes things unbearable! Two years ago, I graduated with a BA in English, but was disappointed with the prospect that editor jobs expect you to have a four-year degree as well as 2-5 years of experience in the field and have published works in multiple magazines, newspapers. With this, I was applying to jobs that I would have committed suicide over (I lasted one day as a bartender). Long story short, I have been working at Veterinary Clinic for a year now as a Veterinary Assistant. At first, my Bachelor’s education clashed with the very medical orientated system and job, which it took a few months to get used to. In essence, I enjoy this work very much (granted, I don’t like lionshaving angry cats) and so, I am now taking online per-requisites as to get into a Veterinary Technician Program in a year or so. My internal dilemma that although my job is satisfying (every day is a new day and I am always learning) and purposeful (helping others), but there is a part of me that misses research, literary analysis and criticism (but to be honest with you, I do not see myself becoming a professor because standing in front of people and teaching people - being a leader - sounds just as unsatisfying as bar-tending)!
I wish there was only one path chosen for me so that there isn’t the dilemma if I am making the wrong choice, that I am settling for the practical and in essence, losing my true gift!
Is there someway you can get this missing piece back in your life, while maintaining your current position as a Vet? (Is there a way you can add a task/job/hobby where you'd feel like you're fulfilling your gift while still working as a Vet and get the benefits of always learning and doing something purposeful/meaningful from that?)
If not, life is always changing, and maybe someday you'll be able to go back to utilizing your gift more directly - I would say don't be too discouraged and stay hopeful, as opportunities probably will be bountiful later on to allow change again. And you'll likely have a long length of time of service under your belt, too!
Wishing you the best
Anonymous asked:
So I really like this guy who I'm pretty sure is an INFJ. What kind of things can I do to make him happy?
INFJs require little from those around them to be happy. They are happiest when they feel appreciated and acknowledged, listened to/taken seriously when they do decide to say something, and are shown that they matter to others and mean something to them.
INFJs also tend to have a strong drive to work for a broad purpose, so hearing from someone that they're doing well working towards that goal can mean a lot. Also, it's significant to them if someone's there who truly cares and comforts them when they feel like they've fallen short of a goal (which is likely, because their goals tend to be rather lofty.)
Your question is a bit vague, but I hope this is helpful feedback.
Anonymous asked:
are there reasons an obsessive, lovesick infj might actually go out of his/her way to avoid a crush? insecurity? does he/she not feel the need to see the crush on a regular basis? the infj i know stares at me really intently, as if in awe, when we're in the same space, but i suspect that at times he tries to avoid running into me. do infjs feel the need to 'prepare' for being around serious crushes? so many mixed signals and it's really frustrating! i'm an infp, btw. PLEASE HELP A GIRL OUT.
When I read this, I couldn’t help but chuckle - this guy you’re describing seems like a carbon-copy of me just a few years ago in early high school. I’ll let you in on this guy’s mind, by describing exactly how I felt and why I acted like this with the girl I had a crush on.
Firstly, I remember thinking about this girl like she was some kind of goddess. My mind felt utterly fixated on her (mainly mental images of her appearance, which I of course thought was incredibly attractive), and I would feel excited and my heart pace would quicken just looking at her. So not only was I reacting and feeling the way people normally do when they have a crush on someone, but I simply couldn’t fathom any kind of interpersonal thing developing. I had enough of a hard time imagining that many girls actually do like boys, and might even share the same kinds of feelings I was having.
When he’s staring at you really intently, I wonder if he’s doing so and not even realizing how obvious it is? I remember most of my staring I tried very hard to do secretively, at least. In either case: what he’s found is a way to get aroused and update his mental memories and fantasies, but no social risks are involved.
He’s kind of stuck, in a sense. Any drive he might feel to take that risk and have a conversation, ask for help on homework, or anything that involves interacting with you is suppressed by his feelings that this is a risk, and he’s probably feeling like his chances are low, you know, you being a goddess he’s trying to address and everything. ;) He’s probably feeling content enough in his daydreams, but secretly hoping that you randomly say hi to him, compliment him on something, or ask if he has an idea about what to do with the latest homework or other work-related thing you guys might have in common.
I also used to be much shyer around girls too, in general, even girls I didn’t have that kind of interest in. I’ve had my fair share of stumbling over words and saying nonsensical things in reply to a question, simply because it was posed by a girl.
So, ultimately, what I think is going on is this: he definitely has a crush on you, as evidenced by all that staring. But the thought of actually talking with you or making eye contact or anything is risky and might cause him to betray this - he, like me, is probably trying to be very secretive about who he likes. So if he is going to be in the same space as you, he wants to be ready and prepared. As an INFJ, I don’t like to give up information about my feelings without my consent and will behind it. And, he seems to be lacking the courage and experience to feel comfortable interacting with you so… he avoids “direct contact”.
I bet though these things:
1) If you say “Hi [his name]! :)” his head will spin quickly in your direction and he’ll try to stammer his way through a response. If he’s looking down/away replying, that means he doesn’t know how to keep going, and he’d be perfectly fine if you went back to what you were doing before. But you’ll have given him some confidence points. If you say hi again, he’ll get better responding. He might ask something back. Who knows. But if you want to get to know him, it’s gonna have to start small. Very small. And very likely with an initiating comment on your part. :P
2) If you compliment him on anything he’s put some amount of work into - he will not forget it and will practically beam for a week. I still remember the one compliment my high school crush gave me probably 8 years ago, and it’s still making me smile a bit thinking about it now.
3) If he’s an INFJ, if you ask him about something he’s passionate about - that might be enough for him to snap into a more confident mode, and he will tell you anything you ever want to know about it. And more. haha
Well, that sums up my personal experience. He and I are obviously not the same people, so take what I’m saying with a bit of flexibility. I've responded as though he actually IS a younger me, and this might not be true at all - hard to tell exactly with the information given, but…. I bet a lot of it applies. I hope what I wrote makes sense and helps you understand things a bit better at least, regardless if you have any interest back with him.
As a final note: I am currently engaged to a most wonderful INFP woman, and it’s been a treasure to get to know her over these past 4 years or so. I also know another guy who is an INFP, and I really love having good conversations with him too. You INFPs are awesomesauce. :)
Hope that wasn’t too long/didn’t read!
I love being alone, but I have a horrible fear of being abandoned and not having support.
My husband recently had incredibly hurtful things said to him by his parents. It is a terrible situation. He has been so strong and mature and seems hurt, but able to move on after calmly speaking his peace. I however am being eaten alive by the injustice. I feel like he is having to take care of me as I cry on his shoulder and tell him how wonderful he is and how wrong his parents are. How can INFJ's let go and move on after witnessing incredible unfairness?
Anonymous asked:
Do we always do the heavy lifting in relationships? Sometimes it feels like I'm keeping the relationship going and the other person is just riding the waves.
I always thought love was acceptance and clarity. I always considered it to be something incredibly powerful. When I think of love, I think about fighting for what I believe in, and I feel that I would do anything for those I care about. I suspect that’s why I don’t think I understand attraction. I often don’t see the connection between “romance” and “love.” I see people who are missing certain things, or looking to be completed, and finding people to fill voids. It doesn’t feel right. Most people have so many holes, but they don’t want to fill those holes themselves. Do they want some brand of picturesque romance as a temporary fix? I don’t think that’s love. But maybe I don’t feel, and I can’t empathise with it, because there’s something wrong with me.
Sometimes I care SO much about a person that my chest actually tightens. I get scared and I get emotional. I feel too vulnerable. I’m afraid how I feel doesn’t make sense. I KNOW it doesn’t make sense but I also know that my emotions are all I have to go off - I HAVE to trust them or I won’t be being true to myself. I feel like I care too much, and sometimes that seems too much to handle.
Issues with supervisor / boss
This is difficult to describe in a brief post... But, no matter how hard I try, I seem to intimidate or threaten my supervisors and sometimes coworkers. I respect others and their opinions and ideas, and while I am fairly direct, I strive to be clear, fair and compassionate.I've been told I have a quiet confidence and strength.
I am having a particularly difficult time at my current job (I head up fundraising for a conservation nonprofit), where most of my coworkers are extroverts (and in my opinion and observation, fairly juvenile and unprofessional -- an observation I keep to myself). But although I am intelligent, experienced, etc., my boss, also an introvert, rarely lets me complete a sentence and often his first reaction to what I say is to negate, or unnecessarily polish it. He often disagrees with me before I can even verbally complete my thought! I am supportive of him and rarely disagree, although if I think it is very important, I will respectfully express an opposing view. And then clearly leave it up to him to make the final decision. The way I see it, my job is not to do / say what is best for him, but to do and say what is best for my organization. Ultimately, that is my job.
He is also blind to the power plays going on in his office--people undercutting and backstabbing one another to gain his favor. This, of course, drives me crazy!
I don't freak out about my workload or challenges like several of the other staff (who cry if they are overwhelmed, and threaten to quit if they don't get everything they want). I rarely ask for anything, including his sparse time, unless I really need it, and yet he has called me "needy" several times. I just don't get it. I am one of the least classically needy people I know! I am very self-sufficient and work well independently. I am also more of a team player than most of the extroverted staff who believe the world revolves around them and their needs.
I am increasingly frustrated, feel belittled, disrespected, and unappreciated for my contributions. I am well-respected in my community, raise hundreds of thousands of dollars each year, almost by myself, and am often sought out for my expertise and insights. But not at my own job. And this is not the first time this has happened. Booo!
I am not perfect, but I have a lot to offer and find myself less and less willing to try. I've stopped speaking up in meetings unless I really need to.
Your thoughts are welcome!
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Hi! This blog has been pretty inactive because I've been so busy and keep shoving the existence of this blog out of my head (sometimes on purpose), but you put so much effort into this that I definitely feel it deserves a reply.
First of all, well done with the role you've played in the success of your organization! You sound like a pretty selfless and others-oriented worker, with the good of all in mind. I really respect anyone who's like this, because they are the people who will give the world the best shot in working together and building a brighter future for humanity in general. So at least know that I recognize and acknowledge what you're doing!
Based on the information you've given me, your boss's behavior seems pretty irrational; I cannot think of a likely cause of the way he's been treating you - it also doesn't help that I know next to nothing about him.
All I can really say is that those who give and give and continue to give even in spite of rejection or lack of acknowledgment are genuine heroes. I tend to think of doctors who may spend months of work and use much of the knowledgebase and understanding that they've gained through education and experience to save someone's life, then said someone thanks God, thinks God worked a miracle, may even believe that prayer alone got them through, and never show proper appreciation to the doctor. But the doctor isn't in it for the recognition or hearing from his patients their awareness of the incredible work he's doing - he's in it because he cares about human beings, life, and the reduction of suffering of others. The attainment of this goal is fulfilling enough for him.
Maybe focusing on your goals, dreams, aspirations and how you're actively achieving them rather than looking for acclamation can at least make your situation more bearable. Not to discount how difficult it is to go forward without any acknowledgment! I know it hurts to not be recognized for achievements or worthy behavior. In the end, follow your mind and its analytic understanding of the world, but be sure to listen to your heart.
Submitted by anonymous
infjdoodles is another fantastic INFJ tumblr
Thanks! I'll be sure to check that blog out too. :)
INFJ Problem 14: Noticing super mini details that are wrong in your work and having to re-do it until it’s perfect, sometimes not feeling completely satisfied, because you’re such a perfectionist.
Anonymous asked:
do you know any other infj blogs?
infjconfessions.tumblr.com is a good one. :)
infj-problems reblogged
Okay guys we've been on this planet mastering the force long enough now... ;)
Fe problem
What can I do to open up? I feel like I'm in a shell when I am with more than 2 or max 3 people, so how can I improve on acting more socially I know if I can build somewhat deep raport with more than 2-3 people I could be more confident and more persuasive, so can someone help me please :)?
- Submission is edited for clarity. It's probably equally challenging for both the introvert to open up with more people as it is for an extrovert to engage in not-so-shallow conversations one-on-one with another. I know I've faced this problem in college; I'm still also rather unwilling to open up much when I'm in a group of people. Perhaps the thing that holds us back is our longing to sort what information goes to what people. Some people we're okay with telling things and only want to tell them when we have their complete attention. Being in a social circle is almost the opposite - everyone is telling a little about themselves at the same time. I'd suggest not feeling discomfort if you continue to be the quiet one in the group; when you do speak then, people will listen, especially if you speak with a tone of depth. Once you've done this, anytime you choose to speak up, you will probably have grounds to be confident and persuasive.
Just my thoughts - take them as you will, I definitely don't claim to be an expert in this. :P
Submitted by anonymous