an emotional war crime

please reblog this i spent way too long on what was supposed to be a quick edit

Hanif Abdurraqib is the poetical voice of our time, our generation, our people

ok enough is enough. whichever one of you virgins invented instagram starbucks recipes, die 1000 deaths. I had a customer come in today holding out their phone (full brightness) and looking all shy and Im immediately like 🙄 fine ok, what does the instagram user want me to make for them this time. well this time it's a cringe harry potter themed frappucino. excuse me??? "can you make this for me?" I said excuse me??? -- I mean *customer service voice* "yeah it looks like I have all the ingredients, haha sure!"

ok cringe instagram harry potter frappucino drinker. ok. die. "Ive never had this drink before" yeah I can tell due to the fact that it didnt exist until someone posted a #aesthetic photo of it to instagram 14 hours ago ok. ok,

but whatever, Im paid to put up with this shit. so I add the ingredients all up on my computer and congrats! ur harry potter cringe social media drink has $10 worth of syrup in it. are you happy??? is this what you wanted??? a $10 frappucino??? $10. for a drink. you doubled the price of this drink for ur off-brand "harry potter and the legend of the overpriced starbucks drink" drink. you doubled the price!!! is this how u imagined spending ur day? is this what u wanted to do when u woke up this morning? $10 for a 24oz drink?

and u know, you KNOW the influencer making this recipe doesn't even work at a starbucks cause when it was all said and done the drink looked like shit. my blender was straining against the weight of your sins (and syrups) and Im sweating, Im an animal, Im losing my mind and my blender is getting watered down frappucino syrups everywhere -- u put so much shit liquid in this blender it doesnt even fit in the cup btw. it's making a huge mess. but is it instagramable? no, its fucking ugly. #trending #foryoupage #cringe $10 harold potter drink for adult children,

so are you happy? is ur social media influencer bestie happy? I made ur stupid $10 drink for u. does it taste good? no? well I hope instagram shuts down tomorrow. I hope you read a different book. I hope I never get sober. there is no sign of land. I hope you die. I hope we both die.

There are the horrors but there are also my cats. Hello little creature who lives in my house. Meep meep to you too.

marty scorsese cosmic guilt tuesday everyone give it up for marty scorsese cosmic guilt tuesday

the library doesn’t just “close” at night time silly, she’s going to sleep… cant you hear all the book settling down to close their eyes as night falls….?

solved the paradox of the ship of Theseus btw!! turns out the answer was “it depends”. hope that helps, have a good weekend everybody!

solved the paradox of the ship of Theseus btw!! turns out the answer was “it depends”. hope that helps, have a good weekend everybody!

this is the same exact post twice !!!!

What are you talking about, they're clearly different posts. Just because they're arranged in the same way doesn't make them the same.

shout out to everyone who participated in the january-february mass depressive episode

Thank you everyone for another great turnout to the january-february mass depressive episode

I’m just thinking about how many times I’ve heard my dad on a long call with an obvious scammer and I’ll start begging him to get off the phone because I always think he’s a very easy mark and he’ll just keep going and then after a while he’ll say something like “I died 20 years ago” and hang up.

Virgin Millennial Daughter with 20 hrs of screentime a day: Dad! They’re scamming you! Dad! Stop! They will take your savings and your identity! Hang up before they SWAT you!

Chad Boomer dad with a flip phone he has not recharged since 2014: Well gee I wish I could give you my bank account number after you spent all this time on the phone explaining this car deal with me but I don’t have access to my finances because I am in Rikers for felony murder.

One of my favorite things in Stranger Things fanfic has got to be when Steve's gotten more queer action than the rest of the group combined:

Robin is excitedly telling Eddie and Steve how she finally got her first kiss from a girl, prompting Eddie to complain about how he can never find anyone to hook up with or date in small town Hawkins Indiana.

Steve, in response, tells them that he (until then presumed straight) used to make out with his team mates in highschool (when they got drunk at away games) and hooked up with Tommy several times. And also his first kiss ever was Jonathan Byers.

op your tags are gold this is amazing

sorry to housepost in 2024 but if doctor robert chase woke up as a brunette he would kill himself

“Abundance” by Amy Schmidt, published in Rattle January 20, 2019

the 3.5mm headphone jack was the wound through which light entered your phone it was a little cave for angels to live in inside your phone and big tech got rid of it cause theyre scared of God the wrong way

the allergy i am seeing grow up around small talk in any form is troubling to me. do you know how to make friends with people in your physical environment? it typically starts with small talk. do you want to live in community? small talk. do you want to have the type of relationship with your neighbors where you can run over and borrow a battery for your smoke detector when it starts beeping at 10pm? small talk!! do you want leeway from your coworkers when you fuck up something small? you gotta be able to build a relationship and that's small talk, baybeee.

"but i don't need friends and i don't care about community!" okay, lone ranger, what about the people in your community who need you? "but i have social anxiety!" me too, bud! we simply must soldier on. making up lists of questions to ask people helps. and people are predisposed to be generous, i've found. even if you make some kind of mistake, what is this but the natural give and take of human interaction? nobody is perfect.

you were not put on this earth to live by yourself and then die. you need people and people need you. treat those around you with curiosity and generousness of spirit and you will gain so much goodwill in return.

hey it’s okay. I can call you betty. and you know, you can even call me al. if you want.