pov you are a skittish horse in the wild being offered kindness for the first time by the farmer's eccentric child who has full confidence that you can be the one to win the big race and save the farm

*minces onion and garlic for you with romantic intentions*

this is kind of changing my life as we speak

no one suffers more than girls who are a bit like their fathers

when did we as a society start allowing a sandwich to cost sixteen dollars? eighteen? I know I've paid twenty-one dollars for a sandwich at this point. is this just the world now? sandwich prices don't come down like gas prices. they go up & up & up. good luck to us all

lil wayne's 2020 song "piano trap" features the line "percocet got me vertical". which i assume is him mixing up his horizontal and vertical. nevertheless, i can't escape the mental image of wayne popping a bunch of percs and then immediately standing ramrod straight at attention for six hours

listening to music i listened to when i was 14 makes me realise im still the same person but taller & with a rare esoteric wisdom that can only be gained through suffering

I LOVE WOMEN

my balls hurt ):

there's no correlation I'm just posting things about me

love the word “rapscallion”. like not only are you a rascal but you’re also kind of spring onion about it too

actually no, we're not "dating". we're bound together for infinity. like the stars. so, fuck you, actually.

Earth is so crazy we literally have the ingredients of sandwiches here..

I love that I can jerk off about guys now. That's just so neat!

Could you not before?

No, I was straight my whole life, I actually tried "bihacking" myself as a teen but while I succeeded in dispelling any aversion to m/m sexuality I ultimately had to accept I was just not into it. But in 2020 I caught Covid before vaccines existed, it spread to my brain and caused enough damage there that my existing personality was no longer viable, and after a period of depersonalization I generated a new one that is different in some major respects, including being bisexual.

The quickest way to my heart, platonic or otherwise, is wanting to go find bugs with me. Use the power wisely