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Flay Allster

@flay-allster-blog / flay-allster-blog.tumblr.com

"So how...how can you feel sympathy for someone like me?"
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kelsium

Honestly I’m not gonna survive the apocalypse. Y'all go on gathering berries and drinking cockroach milk (apparently) and forming barter economies and I’m gonna stay in my house until the last of my seltzer runs out and then I’m gonna put on an all cashmere outfit and lay down and die. Have fun fending off the coyotes and doomsday cults and living on expired canned goods in a world with no more Netflix. Pass.

#same

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Slut | Daphne Gottlieb

i die first in every horror movie, before the innocent boyfriend, the too- curious best friend and the foolhardy pal. death comes blind fast and easy, familiar as the top button of my blouse popping open and suddenly i’m an angel on the cutting room floor, wearing gore, a blank stare, not much more.

i do it over and over. i can play like this for hours.

sometimes i enter a dark room and unbutton my shirt, rock my hips side to side until the killer’s music comes on. then I button up quick, laughing or shaking, sometimes both.

from the way i look after i’m split open you’d never know: i was born a baby. i still sleep with my stuffed poodle. her name is “tammy.” after my parents divorced, i wet the bed for a year. i want to be a nurse. my favorite color is blue.

first kiss at 12, first shame at 13, first blood at 14. skipped four years of gym, skimmed just the tips of my stepfather’s fingers, nothing more. i never took my clothes off for a doctor but my body became a secret handshake all the boys knew and i didn’t. the ghost story made me a ghost.

now, at 16, i only remember my own skin when i am touched. it makes me real when i strip down, take it off, find the edges of my body through your eyes or under your hands, against your skin. it feels like death every time you stop.

there is nothing i can do except open my throat and say the word for girls who are the ghosts of want:

“slut.” i’ll take my shirt off while you watch— call it love when the knife rips through my ribs, when the ice pick cracks my chest, or however it happens this time but first

here’s my prayer: that what happens to girls like me who die dirty, give it up with a shudder like pleasure— pray that when we’re killed as martyrs we get loved like saints.

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Search the tumblr gif function for YOUR MUSES EYE COLOR. Reblog with the gif that describes your muse best!

Search the tumblr gif function for YOUR MUSES EYE COLOR. Reblog with the gif that describes your muse best! 

All waters eventually lead to the sea. Pisces, the Mutable Water sign, combines fluid Water with flexible, ever-changing Mutability. Mutable Water is best symbolized by the vast oceans, filled with eddies, currents and tides. The ocean is ever-changing and always moving, but never moving in a given direction. In the ocean, change is the constant. And so it is with Pisces.

Pisces is the only water sign that doesn’t need a shell to protect itself. Cancer hides in its Crab shell while Scorpio hides behind a cool exterior (occasionally coming out to sting with its Scorpion tail), but Pisces can defend itself while remaining soft. This is because Pisces is adept at shapeshifting and mimicry. How can you attack something when you don’t know what it is? Pisces meets confrontation indirectly (as do all the water signs) and preserves itself by slipperiness and evasion. Pisces is the ultimate moving target.

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