Online Dating Is Literally The Worst

“Take it as a compliment!” NO.

“I love a woman with meat on her bones” is also a shitty version of this.

Submitted

I see nothing wrong with what he said.

That’s cool, but I specifically say on my profile two big things: 

1: I am not looking for casual sex, and:

2: Please don’t message me telling me I’m sexy or talking about my breasts or ass or whatever. I nicely explain that a guy is going to get way farther talking to me like a human being than like some blow up doll.

Homie straight up blew beyond my quite reasonable boundaries, so I’m not obligated to positively entertain his blathering about how sexy he thinks I am and how he’d really like some NSA boning. 

I still think you were a bit harsh on him. I might ask someone if they were interested in casual sex if I found them attractive. I don’t see a problem with calling someone sexy on a dating site.

You don’t see anything wrong with completely disregarding someone’s clearly stated boundaries? Bruh…

He asked nicely, so no. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

It doesn’t matter how “nicely” you ask, it’s still beyond inappropriate to disregard someone’s clearly stated boundaries. Particularly someone you don’t know & who owes you absolutely nothing. 

And for the record, it’s not ever “nice” to completely ignore someone’s explicit limitations. No means no, not ask a little nicer.  Frankly, “your chest is [sic] acctractive to me” isn’t exactly a great, nice, lovely compliment— but even if it was, he was still grossly out of line. 

OP wasn’t even rude to the dude, though. Nevertheless, women are under no obligation whatsoever to be nice or polite or grateful or ANYTHING to men simply because they offer what they deem to be “compliments.”

PREACH. And thanks. 

Seriously, though. I owe this strange man nothing but basic human courtesy— and that’s out the window you blow past my stated boundaries and start sexually harassing me. At that point, I don’t even owe you common courtesy because you’ve proven yourself to be a total POS who can’t take no for an answer. 

And then he tries to blame her for the whole interaction being uncomfortable so…. yeah. Slime ball.

What the fuck is wrong with men???? in what universe is commenting on a woman’s body and making sexual advances without consent acceptable behavior? he deserves a kick in the arse honestly

But he totally meant it nicely so you need to stop being so uptight and mean.

eyes roll full circle around skull

Omg THIS how do so many guys literally read your profile where you make explicit boundaries clear, then message you mentioning the boundaries AND THEN COMPLETELY DISREGARD THEM?!?!!

And then,  when you post it on your blog, you get super fun folks like  alicornofmischief saying that you should have just been nicer because omg it was a COMPLIMENT when he sexually harassed you.

Men, repeat after me: WOMEN OWE YOU NOTHING.

I see nothing wrong with what he said.

That’s cool, but I specifically say on my profile two big things: 

1: I am not looking for casual sex, and:

2: Please don’t message me telling me I’m sexy or talking about my breasts or ass or whatever. I nicely explain that a guy is going to get way farther talking to me like a human being than like some blow up doll.

Homie straight up blew beyond my quite reasonable boundaries, so I’m not obligated to positively entertain his blathering about how sexy he thinks I am and how he’d really like some NSA boning. 

I still think you were a bit harsh on him. I might ask someone if they were interested in casual sex if I found them attractive. I don’t see a problem with calling someone sexy on a dating site.

You don’t see anything wrong with completely disregarding someone’s clearly stated boundaries? Bruh…

He asked nicely, so no. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

It doesn’t matter how “nicely” you ask, it’s still beyond inappropriate to disregard someone’s clearly stated boundaries. Particularly someone you don’t know & who owes you absolutely nothing. 

And for the record, it’s not ever “nice” to completely ignore someone’s explicit limitations. No means no, not ask a little nicer.  Frankly, “your chest is [sic] acctractive to me” isn’t exactly a great, nice, lovely compliment— but even if it was, he was still grossly out of line. 

OP wasn’t even rude to the dude, though. Nevertheless, women are under no obligation whatsoever to be nice or polite or grateful or ANYTHING to men simply because they offer what they deem to be “compliments.”

PREACH. And thanks. 

Seriously, though. I owe this strange man nothing but basic human courtesy— and that’s out the window you blow past my stated boundaries and start sexually harassing me. At that point, I don’t even owe you common courtesy because you’ve proven yourself to be a total POS who can’t take no for an answer. 

And then he tries to blame her for the whole interaction being uncomfortable so…. yeah. Slime ball.

What the fuck is wrong with men???? in what universe is commenting on a woman’s body and making sexual advances without consent acceptable behavior? he deserves a kick in the arse honestly

But he totally meant it nicely so you need to stop being so uptight and mean.

eyes roll full circle around skull

I see nothing wrong with what he said.

That’s cool, but I specifically say on my profile two big things: 

1: I am not looking for casual sex, and:

2: Please don’t message me telling me I’m sexy or talking about my breasts or ass or whatever. I nicely explain that a guy is going to get way farther talking to me like a human being than like some blow up doll.

Homie straight up blew beyond my quite reasonable boundaries, so I’m not obligated to positively entertain his blathering about how sexy he thinks I am and how he’d really like some NSA boning. 

I still think you were a bit harsh on him. I might ask someone if they were interested in casual sex if I found them attractive. I don’t see a problem with calling someone sexy on a dating site.

You don’t see anything wrong with completely disregarding someone’s clearly stated boundaries? Bruh…

He asked nicely, so no. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

It doesn’t matter how “nicely” you ask, it’s still beyond inappropriate to disregard someone’s clearly stated boundaries. Particularly someone you don’t know & who owes you absolutely nothing. 

And for the record, it’s not ever “nice” to completely ignore someone’s explicit limitations. No means no, not ask a little nicer.  Frankly, “your chest is [sic] acctractive to me” isn’t exactly a great, nice, lovely compliment— but even if it was, he was still grossly out of line. 

OP wasn’t even rude to the dude, though. Nevertheless, women are under no obligation whatsoever to be nice or polite or grateful or ANYTHING to men simply because they offer what they deem to be “compliments.”

PREACH. And thanks. 

Seriously, though. I owe this strange man nothing but basic human courtesy— and that’s out the window you blow past my stated boundaries and start sexually harassing me. At that point, I don’t even owe you common courtesy because you’ve proven yourself to be a total POS who can’t take no for an answer. 

All I can think of, when I see guys disregard these sorts of clearly stated boundaries right off the bat, is that there’s no way they’ll give a shit about other boundaries a dating partner tries to set later on.

Exactly! If you can’t respect me out the gate, why am I going to assume you’re going to respect my desires later on? No thanks.

I see nothing wrong with what he said.

That’s cool, but I specifically say on my profile two big things: 

1: I am not looking for casual sex, and:

2: Please don’t message me telling me I’m sexy or talking about my breasts or ass or whatever. I nicely explain that a guy is going to get way farther talking to me like a human being than like some blow up doll.

Homie straight up blew beyond my quite reasonable boundaries, so I’m not obligated to positively entertain his blathering about how sexy he thinks I am and how he’d really like some NSA boning. 

I still think you were a bit harsh on him. I might ask someone if they were interested in casual sex if I found them attractive. I don’t see a problem with calling someone sexy on a dating site.

You don’t see anything wrong with completely disregarding someone’s clearly stated boundaries? Bruh…

He asked nicely, so no. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

It doesn’t matter how “nicely” you ask, it’s still beyond inappropriate to disregard someone’s clearly stated boundaries. Particularly someone you don’t know & who owes you absolutely nothing. 

And for the record, it’s not ever “nice” to completely ignore someone’s explicit limitations. No means no, not ask a little nicer.  Frankly, “your chest is [sic] acctractive to me” isn’t exactly a great, nice, lovely compliment— but even if it was, he was still grossly out of line. 

OP wasn’t even rude to the dude, though. Nevertheless, women are under no obligation whatsoever to be nice or polite or grateful or ANYTHING to men simply because they offer what they deem to be “compliments.”

PREACH. And thanks. 

Seriously, though. I owe this strange man nothing but basic human courtesy— and that’s out the window you blow past my stated boundaries and start sexually harassing me. At that point, I don’t even owe you common courtesy because you’ve proven yourself to be a total POS who can’t take no for an answer. 

But for real though, why should she give time to someone who either won’t take 1 minute to read her profile OR decides it doesn’t really apply? All that tells me is that he’s an entitled shitheel who thinks her opinions, desires and boundaries don’t matter. That is not dating material, full stop.

Thank you! If that message wasn’t the biggest, reddest red flag, I don’t know what is. 

I see nothing wrong with what he said.

That’s cool, but I specifically say on my profile two big things: 

1: I am not looking for casual sex, and:

2: Please don’t message me telling me I’m sexy or talking about my breasts or ass or whatever. I nicely explain that a guy is going to get way farther talking to me like a human being than like some blow up doll.

Homie straight up blew beyond my quite reasonable boundaries, so I’m not obligated to positively entertain his blathering about how sexy he thinks I am and how he’d really like some NSA boning. 

I still think you were a bit harsh on him. I might ask someone if they were interested in casual sex if I found them attractive. I don’t see a problem with calling someone sexy on a dating site.

You don’t see anything wrong with completely disregarding someone’s clearly stated boundaries? Bruh…

He asked nicely, so no. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

It doesn’t matter how “nicely” you ask, it’s still beyond inappropriate to disregard someone’s clearly stated boundaries. Particularly someone you don’t know & who owes you absolutely nothing. 

And for the record, it’s not ever “nice” to completely ignore someone’s explicit limitations. No means no, not ask a little nicer.  Frankly, “your chest is [sic] acctractive to me” isn’t exactly a great, nice, lovely compliment— but even if it was, he was still grossly out of line. 

I see no problem with this. This is an overreaction. He was nice about it. Who knows if maybe he didn’t understand too. Maybe things were worded weird. I don’t know. There are some were women and men on dating sites, but I think this one is pretty okay.

Sorry, you basically went from saying I was asking for it (I was on a dating site, after all!), to saying I’m over reacting. 

We decent human beings do this thing where we respect each other’s boundaries. If you don’t, that’s really shitty, but I know this guy you might want to message. 

Yeah he reacted wrong at the end, but his initial question was fine. I’m just tired of seeing people whine anout dating sites. If you hate them so much quit using them.

“If you don’t want to be sexually harassed, stop using dating sites.”

K. OR maybe like, guys could stop, ya know, being sexually harassing assholes. I know that’s a lot to ask. 

“Hey how are you just wondering if I could murder you. I know you said not to and you’re really against being murdered but I asked super nicely so it’s cool right”

If someone asks that you don’t say something to them I don’t care how nicely you ask you are being rude. It’s about respect.

If you asked someone to not talk about something that makes you uncomfortable (say you had a scar or something you were self conscious about or just didn’t want to talk about for any reason) and they said “hey you scar is super attractive I love it” even though they are being nice about it they are still explicitly ignoring your request and that’s rude. Straight up.

The fact that alicornofmischief can’t seem to understand this is exactly the problem with male privilege and men who believe in the “friendzone”. No you don’t have the right to push your sexist harassing remarks on someone and call it a “compliment.” No you don’t have the right to expect or demand sex from someone because they’re on an online dating resource, or because they’re in a bar, or even if you’re dating them. It doesn’t matter if you have a “good” reason, (but that girls really hot, but I really want sex, but I asked nicely) RESPECT boundaries! Not respecting someone’s stated boundaries is harassment at best and can lead to rape at worse. So stfu alicornofmischief

Thank you both for these responses! Nobody is obligated to be “nice” to someone just because the bathe their harassment in complimentary language. The biggest compliment you can pay me is to RESPECT ME. 

Wait. That’s not a compliment- that’s the minimum requirement for human decency. 

I see nothing wrong with what he said.

That’s cool, but I specifically say on my profile two big things: 

1: I am not looking for casual sex, and:

2: Please don’t message me telling me I’m sexy or talking about my breasts or ass or whatever. I nicely explain that a guy is going to get way farther talking to me like a human being than like some blow up doll.

Homie straight up blew beyond my quite reasonable boundaries, so I’m not obligated to positively entertain his blathering about how sexy he thinks I am and how he’d really like some NSA boning. 

I still think you were a bit harsh on him. I might ask someone if they were interested in casual sex if I found them attractive. I don’t see a problem with calling someone sexy on a dating site.

You don’t see anything wrong with completely disregarding someone’s clearly stated boundaries? Bruh…

He asked nicely, so no. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

It doesn’t matter how “nicely” you ask, it’s still beyond inappropriate to disregard someone’s clearly stated boundaries. Particularly someone you don’t know & who owes you absolutely nothing. 

And for the record, it’s not ever “nice” to completely ignore someone’s explicit limitations. No means no, not ask a little nicer.  Frankly, “your chest is [sic] acctractive to me” isn’t exactly a great, nice, lovely compliment— but even if it was, he was still grossly out of line. 

OP wasn’t even rude to the dude, though. Nevertheless, women are under no obligation whatsoever to be nice or polite or grateful or ANYTHING to men simply because they offer what they deem to be “compliments.”

PREACH. And thanks. 

Seriously, though. I owe this strange man nothing but basic human courtesy--- and that’s out the window you blow past my stated boundaries and start sexually harassing me. At that point, I don’t even owe you common courtesy because you’ve proven yourself to be a total POS who can’t take no for an answer. 

I see nothing wrong with what he said.

That’s cool, but I specifically say on my profile two big things: 

1: I am not looking for casual sex, and:

2: Please don’t message me telling me I’m sexy or talking about my breasts or ass or whatever. I nicely explain that a guy is going to get way farther talking to me like a human being than like some blow up doll.

Homie straight up blew beyond my quite reasonable boundaries, so I’m not obligated to positively entertain his blathering about how sexy he thinks I am and how he’d really like some NSA boning. 

I still think you were a bit harsh on him. I might ask someone if they were interested in casual sex if I found them attractive. I don’t see a problem with calling someone sexy on a dating site.

You don’t see anything wrong with completely disregarding someone’s clearly stated boundaries? Bruh…

He asked nicely, so no. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

It doesn’t matter how “nicely” you ask, it’s still beyond inappropriate to disregard someone’s clearly stated boundaries. Particularly someone you don’t know & who owes you absolutely nothing. 

And for the record, it’s not ever “nice” to completely ignore someone’s explicit limitations. No means no, not ask a little nicer.  Frankly, “your chest is [sic] acctractive to me” isn’t exactly a great, nice, lovely compliment— but even if it was, he was still grossly out of line. 

I see no problem with this. This is an overreaction. He was nice about it. Who knows if maybe he didn’t understand too. Maybe things were worded weird. I don’t know. There are some were women and men on dating sites, but I think this one is pretty okay.

Sorry, you basically went from saying I was asking for it (I was on a dating site, after all!), to saying I’m over reacting. 

We decent human beings do this thing where we respect each other’s boundaries. If you don’t, that’s really shitty, but I know this guy you might want to message. 

Yeah he reacted wrong at the end, but his initial question was fine. I’m just tired of seeing people whine anout dating sites. If you hate them so much quit using them.

“If you don’t want to be sexually harassed, stop using dating sites.”

K. OR maybe like, guys could stop, ya know, being sexually harassing assholes. I know that’s a lot to ask. 

I see nothing wrong with what he said.

That’s cool, but I specifically say on my profile two big things: 

1: I am not looking for casual sex, and:

2: Please don’t message me telling me I’m sexy or talking about my breasts or ass or whatever. I nicely explain that a guy is going to get way farther talking to me like a human being than like some blow up doll.

Homie straight up blew beyond my quite reasonable boundaries, so I’m not obligated to positively entertain his blathering about how sexy he thinks I am and how he’d really like some NSA boning. 

I still think you were a bit harsh on him. I might ask someone if they were interested in casual sex if I found them attractive. I don’t see a problem with calling someone sexy on a dating site.

You don’t see anything wrong with completely disregarding someone’s clearly stated boundaries? Bruh…

He asked nicely, so no. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

It doesn’t matter how “nicely” you ask, it’s still beyond inappropriate to disregard someone’s clearly stated boundaries. Particularly someone you don’t know & who owes you absolutely nothing. 

And for the record, it’s not ever “nice” to completely ignore someone’s explicit limitations. No means no, not ask a little nicer.  Frankly, “your chest is [sic] acctractive to me” isn’t exactly a great, nice, lovely compliment— but even if it was, he was still grossly out of line. 

I see no problem with this. This is an overreaction. He was nice about it. Who knows if maybe he didn’t understand too. Maybe things were worded weird. I don’t know. There are some were women and men on dating sites, but I think this one is pretty okay.

Sorry, you basically went from saying I was asking for it (I was on a dating site, after all!), to saying I’m over reacting. 

We decent human beings do this thing where we respect each other’s boundaries. If you don’t, that’s really shitty, but I know this guy you might want to message.