James Baldwin

everyone please appreciate my valentine

You offer someone grace at the right moment and you change the world

NO RETURN - A sad little lyric game

This is a game about everything taken by time.

We will not be going back to these things. We cannot. Every moment is a point of no return.

We can only think of them, a secondhand internal recreation of an unreliable firsthand account.

FIRST: Think of a time, a person, or a place you have lost. 

What about it can you never return to? Why?

SECOND: Think of what you still carry with you from that which is lost. 

How did you keep it safe, against all odds? Why?

THIRD: Think of what you have now that will be lost (all things in time, of course—even yourself—but choose one). 

When will you lose it? Why?

FOURTH: Think again of what you currently have, where you currently  are, the people that currently surround you. If you have something you don't want to lose, you win (for now).

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Originally published at a hidden link on my personal site HERE.

Civil Service, Claire Schwartz

okay. okay. I think I've finally figured out the worst part of the "Ed's going to be an abuser just like his dad" headcanon some of y'all have.

let's go for a ride.

abuse is cyclical, and not just in a micro sense. it's not just "I love you, you're garbage, I'm sorry, I love you, I'm the only one who loves you because you're garbage, I'm sorry, I love you," etc. I mean macro. I mean generationally.

I mean that parents teach their children how to have relationships. we show our kids how adults interact with each other, how adults interact with kids, how kids should interact with kids. we model this behavior constantly. it's one of the most nerve-wracking things about being a parent, actually: you live in a fish bowl now, and the fish bowl is your home, and your children are constantly observing your behavior and interactions, even when you don't want them to, even when you think they're not.

growing up in a home with an abusive parent doesn't just expose you to the abuse—physical, emotional, psychological, religious, whatever it is—it teaches the child that this is how relationships work. and then this kid goes out into the world, interacting with other humans all willy-nilly, and bringing all the knowledge that their parents armed them with to bear. and when the kid (hopefully) realizes that wait, actually, shouting and throwing things and hitting people isn't good, that's not the way you interact, it is solely up to that kid to fix their shit. if they're lucky, they've got someone in their life to help them with that. but even once you've recognized that there's Bad Stuff happening in your interpersonal relationships, you have to retrain your brain. you have to change your go-to reaction. because you can recarve your neural pathways, but it is fucking hard work.

I didn't grow up with a physically abusive parent; I grew up with an emotionally abusive one. every time my partner does something that annoys me, or we disagree on something, and my reaction is "well, I don't really feel like talking"—if you don't think that I don't half- to full-on panic about wait is this the silent treatment, am I doing what my dad did, you are absolutely incorrect. it is a constant fear, that my reactions are inherently abusive. I am constantly gaslighting myself into believing that everything I do in a relationship is bad, hurtful, abusive. I am constantly having to convince myself that it's okay sometimes not to want to talk, and to sometimes be annoyed, and to sometimes disagree, and that none of this is inherently abusive.

now. Ed fucking Teach. do you not think the guy's spent some time introspecting? examining his inner most self? he's smart, and he's depressed, so, yeah. I bet he has. so do you not think, you absolute monsters, that he isn't doing the same fucking thing? Ed Teach, who convinced himself that defending him and his mom against constant violence (a white man, and as if this was a random choice)—ultimately saving their lives (and no, this is not an exaggeration)—made him an unloveable, unlikeable monster. Ed Teach, who is so desperate for love and friendship that his biggest fantasy is owning an inn, where people stay because they want to.

do you really think that one of the thousand internal battles Ed my beloved is fighting isn't don't be your dad don't be your dad don't be your dad? fighting, fucking tooth and nail, to be different. (same as Stede!) this reactionary headcanon literally misses so much of the point of the whole character; it buys into the British Navy's propaganda about him, and worse. it buys into the narrative that a man of color is inherently violent, inherently incapable of change.

We’re not leaving @batsarebetterthanpeople’s additions in the tags because yes yes yes this is all also extremely accurate, and even canon for Ed—the whole interaction with Pop-Pop vs “I didn’t apologize for jack shit.”

TAIKA WAITITI Behind The Flag: Mermaid Day

Thinking back to when I watched 1x01 with a non-fandom friend (who liked it and watched both seasons) and they said their favorite part was that the crew canceled the mutiny based on Stede being able to do the voices.

And like. That’s true! Stede Bonnet you did not need to approach that English warship. Your crew was 100% ready to un-mutiny based on your Pinocchio voice at story time.

Rewatching all of OFMD today (#Renew As A Crew) and one thing that's sticking out to me immediately -

Until we see in s2 how relieved Ed is to lose the responsibility of being captain, it doesn't really stick out how fucking...tense Ed is.

When he meets Stede's crew, look at his body language! He's trying to be cool and smooth and everything, and he's charismatic enough he can pull it off, but his body language is borderline nervous, honestly. He's very stiff and cautious in his movements, always keeping at least one hand on his weapons, always glancing around. It's striking to compare it to how he acts when he's alone with Stede - you can almost see the weight grow on his shoulders when he's in front of the crew. No wonder Lucius thinks he doesn't know how to relax!

He's also extremely theatrical and showy, and part of that is Ed being tied with Stede for Most Dramatic Bitch on the Seven Seas, but it's also immediately obvious that he expects every eye to be on him, always. He acts like he knows he's the center of attention, always. Almost every movement this man makes seems so calculated.

You can see some of the weight lift when he tries telling everyone to just call him Ed, although a lot of the time he still looks pretty guarded and often holds his hands in front of himself almost protectively. Sweetie pie is trying so hard to be vulnerable but his body language still reads like he's not fully comfortable. It has to be very scary for him but he's being so brave and trying so hard anyway!

We don't see the big change until he's back on the ship in s2e5 and the crew have put him on probation. Although many of the crew are still pissed at him, Ed is, very explicitly, no longer captain. The crew don't hate him (they're mad at him, but he never lost their love), but they'd push back against orders even if he tried giving them. And what a relief that must be! Ed looks so light this episode! It's no longer his job to make the decisions, all he has to do is fix things up. He gets to talk with Fang as friends, not as The Legendary Captain Blackbeard and Loyal Crewmember. He gets to play, doing a cannonball off the ladder, and have a good time learning how to fish. His body language is absolutely night-and-day.

And after he gets out of probation? That stays consistent. In s2e6 he gets to play along with the crew, encouraging "the moving of the tub - it's a sacred tradition!!!" getting him a cheer from the crew ("yooo, this dude's devout as fuuuck!!"). He just gets to have a good time. Compared to the first time he meets the crew in s1e4, he's obviously so relaxed and willing to unwind in front of everyone - they were about to dance, and Ed doesn't even fucking hesitate to agree when Stede suggested they join everyone (fuck Ned Low for stealing that from us, honestly).

Ed wants so fucking badly to be free of the massive responsibility that's been weighing on him - think about what he said to Stede in s1e4: "they're all going to die, all the men who trusted you, and it'll be all your fault!" He has been living with so much weight on his shoulders, not just incredible responsibility but feeling unsafe to be the softer, gentle, sweet man we know he is.

He just wants to be free to be Ed.

Something I do really enjoy about Our Flag Means Death is that the central romance actually...makes sense? So many rom-coms fall into the tropes and plot beats without considering what makes them work. The leads fall in love because that's what leads do in romantic comedies, not because of anything intrinsic to their characterizations, external or internal, or the chemistry of the performers.

With Our Flag Means Death, you can see the progression of the love story. You see who Stede is at the start, his emotional and psychological makeup and how he's already beginning to change by the time Ed shows up on his ship. That character arc is already begun before they become friends. Then we get the bits and pieces of Ed's background and relationship to his own legend, and the desires he has that exist independent of Stede but that Stede's presence helps him to express. We see them playing together and laughing and having fun, and the relief in both of them to have someone who truly gets them. And we see that friendship morphing into romantic love, and how that love is complicated because of who they both are and the worlds in which they live.

When they get to the first beach kiss, it's a payoff of everything that has developed over the previous episodes. It makes sense of all the moments and scenes, and not just the big ones - the times that Ed puts his arm around Stede's shoulders or pats his back, the conversation about marmalade, how Ed takes his tea, the conversation about spoons and passive-aggression.

I love that the divide between them is never about them personally overcoming class or race prejudices—though those things are not insignificant to the story or the characters. Where those things come into play, it's the big villains grabbing them and trying to pull them apart because "he's from my world, not yours." And that outer conflict fuels their inner ones, and also gives them both something to push back against that is not each other.

The whole relationship works because the relationship arc is intertwined with their individual character arcs. Stede has to deal with his guilt and sense of inadequacy. Ed has to face his self-hatred. They both have to break away from the people and systems that are trapping them. They have to change in order to love each other better. And how they change makes sense to who they are, together and apart. None of it is forced.

It's just a really good show.

Ed and Stede had difficult childhoods where one was stuck in a racialized dynamic of familial abuse that culminated with him violating a huge social order taboo by killing his father while the other habitually suffered brutal degradation by his family and peers for being an effeminate kid-- and now Ed fears he's the guy on the poster and Stede believes his love corrupts LIKE SIRS. you both could not get more Skinner meme

Sherilyn Fenn | Twin Peaks

Blackbeard, appearing out of fire in Series One vs appearing out of water in Series Two

i saw the women one and i have another idea

also bonus points if you tell me what song 👍