why does this ant poison listing have a "view in your room" augmented reality feature I'm honestly going feral

I tried to send my stressed out girlfriend a supportive message about how smart and talented she is but my idiot fingers only typed “youre snart” before pressing send

mother of god

A snake that’s wide instead of long

Please don’t mind my real fast MS paint version of this.

those are his arms he wants a hug :(

hug!!

consider

did anyone else have the fucking. dolphin girls at school

they were like horse girls except they couldnt ht gfbfnfbnfj eb do sorry a mojth started attacking me

its dive bombing me like its world war 2 im just tryn to shit

toilet roll now controlled by enemy forces

anyway dolphin girls where like horse girls but since they couldnt get their own dolphins they always had 24 books called like “sparkle glimmer cove” wherever they went

An inchworm that makes an accordion noise when it moves

For my 3D production class I had to create a three shot short that was a remake of an existing movie scene- with muppets. I ran out of time to do the particle water effects, but this is basically Pacific Rim anyway.

We’re losing our collective shit laughing at this. Holy crap it’s so funny, please turn the sound on.

*walks around my house looking for scissors while making a scissor motion with my fingers*

by Emily Winfield Martin

concept: the year is 2034. i walk into work with coffee in hand. coworker is wearing cool shoelaces and i compliment them absentmindedly. they look me dead in the eye and say, “thanks, i stole them from the president.” scalding coffee leaks out of every one of my orifices and i hide in the bathroom convulsing for the rest of the day

@elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey can you explain this i don’t understand

it’s this legendary horror post

it is physically painful to remember that people have continued to join tumblr since 2012 and that there are people–perhaps people reading this! right now!!!–who don’t have the foggiest memory of this fucking post.  this post haunted me, do you understand, i saw and heard this code used in REAL FUCKING LIFE, I CANT FKJCLNG HANDLE THIS

wheel of fortune

puzzle: H E _ _ O

category: greeting

contestant: spins

wheel: $5000

contestant: L!

pat: no L

This is a horror novel

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mike’s hard hot dog water

“theres alcohol in it”