Short Poot: Police/Thief AU
“Hey, K-9 boy, we gotta move. Some scum’re trying to loot a jewelry shop downtown.”
“Stop calling me that.” Kyoutani caught the dark, gilded cap that was flicked towards him, and shoved it over the bleached fluff with a huff.
“Haha, well, it fits.” He fell silent when Iwaizumi grinned back at him, much to the pouty and mumbly dismay of Sheriff Oikawa.
“Shit.” The red-and-blue lights were glaringly obvious–as if the siren itself wasn’t–flashing easily around the curves of the street corner even if they were a bit distant.
“Oi, Shige-chan, we gotta split, all right, see you!!”
“What?! Guys, what the f–” A smattering of reflected, neon light blinded his vision for a moment.
When he looked down upon the pavement–riddled with filthy, trampled gum and cigarette butts–there lay a gaudy, chunky necklace of diamonds, haphazardly coiled like a molted snakeskin.
Hadn’t he been nagging them for the longest time to treat the goods with more care? What pawn shop or other would pay more for something that looked like shit?
“Call that ‘downpayment’, all right?” Their voices echoed off the alley walls they’d disappeared into, and Yahaba realized too late that he’d stayed in the same place for too long when he heard the crescendo of quickening footfalls towards him.
He cursed to himself for letting his guard down as a heavy boot drove him to the ground, his chin scraping a bit against gravel and cement. He could only blow his bangs out of his eyes as he felt–and heard–cold metal slap around his wrists.
Yahaba felt the foot lift off his spine, and was abruptly yanked to his feet, by the chains of the handcuffs. He winced a bit as he felt the unforgiving metal dig into his skin, before he turned around, eyes already glowering with contempt. He blinked. Well, if this wasn’t the strangest-looking cop he’d ever seen…
The fuzz had “fuzz” himself–yellow, at that, with these weird-ass occipital black streaks. A hornet? Yahaba snorted, and he could have sworn he saw a vein pop out at that.
“’Have to work for them, ‘have to work against them, too.” The cop sneered, and Yahaba wondered how he could get away with a hairstyle like that in such a job.
“Who’s ‘them’?” Yahaba smirked.
“Shitty pretty boys, that’s who,” Kyoutani spit the words, avoiding eye contact as he shoved his catch towards the waiting car. Yahaba’s eyes lit up at that, and he suddenly whipped around, headbutting the other square in the forehead.
Kyoutani fell unwittingly on his rear, his arm slamming awkwardly against a rusted pipe, and in the few seconds it took to regain some composure, the annoying thief was standing over him, beaming wider than ever–and waving two free hands.
“When did you…!!”
“Oh? You must be pretty green, officer. You should hold onto your keys a bit tighter~” He observed Kyoutani’s surprise change into fury with glee as he swung the keyring leisurely around his index finger.
“You bastard!” Kyoutani lunged forward only to be lurched back once more, his wrist…handcuffed to the very pipe he’d bumped against.
“Sorry, you’re going to have to get your fellow officers to get you out of that. Or you could,” Yahaba paused, and tossed the keys a few feet away–just out of Kyoutani’s reach, “struggle to get those back to save yourself the embarrassment.”
Kyoutani could only snarl as Yahaba leaned into his face and pecked his nose, and was out of the way again before the ensnared man could snap back at him. Like a wild dog.
“Let’s meet again, then.” Yahaba rescued the necklace from the ground and dashed off, chuckling to himself the whole way.
“Escape artist Yahaba-senpai, that’s our chief!” One of his underlings cheered.
“Bullshit, would’ve left me even if you didn’t know about that.” The “chief” gingerly touched ointment to his chin as the rest of the group crowded around him. An older member spoke up.
“Haha, maybe~ But what took you? You’re usually much faster!”
Yahaba felt a smirk creep back onto his face.
“I found someone I want to play with.”
