That was my "real" name

Concerned Ape knows what's up

HEY THIS IS FUCKING GREAT BUT YOU LEFT OUT THE BEST GODDAM PART

DAVID LYNCH IS THE OTHER EXCEPTION AND I AM FUCKING LIVING FOR IT.

"everyone experiences [symptom]" how many times does it have to be explained that it's often about the frequency of the symptom, not the symptom itself

"nearly everyone has had a headache before" i agree. "most people get headaches regularly" you're starting to lose me. "it's normal to have a headache all the time" go to a doctor.

"everyone gets anxious sometimes" true! "people get anxious pretty often" um. "it's normal to be anxious all the time" go to a doctor. etc

kids these days will never experience the epic highs and lows of bubblewrap popping

what are the lows of bubblewrap popping

when you press it and it deflates without popping

People on my dash were destielposting and my immediate thought was 'Oh I should double check that I'm registered to vote' my neural pathways are a lost cause

NOOOOOOOOO EMINIMEN NOOOOOOOOOOOO NO EMINMENM

[ID: A tweet by Going Cringedark @/shellkind. It reads: Love the sound cats make when you touch them when they're not expecting it. You know the one I mean. The activation noise. /End ID]

happy pride to these lesbian foxes

boot up, Bitch

That reply is unexpectedly inspirational.

Happy Pride!

Should I watch Yellow Jackets or is it just going to freak me out too much? I watched the first episode and it was intriguing but I also got the vibe that it might be too much for me pretty quickly. (Possibly a show I should wait to finish before I get into it?)

The cannibalism doesn’t bother me too too much. But getting attached to characters who get dead does. And it seems like it might be an “everybody dies,” kinda show. (Beyond the past storyline where I can pretty much guess who dies by who is currently alive in the present storyline.)

But it also has Liv Hewson (who I super miss after Santa Clarita Diet got cancelled) and Christina Ricci in it. So like…can I really say no?

I have determined the answer to this. The answer is “Aw hell nah.” It may not stay that way. But at the moment I don’t have the energy that for kinda stress in my life.

Behind the scenes of Godzilla (1998)

man why didn’t they just have this guy fight him off. dude’s huge

this baker girl is one of my favorite creations I've ever made, I love her so much ♥

yeah sorry i just don't think i can make it out tonight. i have to pick up my wife from her murder trial.

yes of course she did it. why do you think i married her.

Starting a new thread of insane shit I over hear my husband say to our toddler.

2. “Come now my child.”

*bluey the album starts playing*

3. “Oh I am so sorry. You’ve been mildly inconvenienced. How dare I truly”

4. “It is she! Her Majesty, Queen of the Sludge, Keeper of Goo, DJ Baby P (In the House) Dropper of Beats and Clapper of Hands”

5. He is in charge of bathtime and he lifted the ghoul tonight while singing “come with me and you’ll be in a world of baby sanitation” and I laughed so hard I snorted pasta

6. Okay this is more one that he said to me about the toddler but he was home with her while I was at work and I just got this text

7.

“Happy Independence Day Sweetie! Nationalism is a cancer!”

8. This is another one he said to me about her but still it made me laugh so hard I nearly choked

9.

*Penny babbling in the back seat, many la la las coming from her car seat*

“Are you singing us a song? Ah yes the dulcet tones of goblin”

10.

“Listen kid, I can’t let you have the cup anymore because you keep chugging the bath water, so we just have to remove the cup from the equation.”

11.

*penny is screaming, trying to climb back up a big slide at the playground*

“Someday you’ll learn about ,I don’t know physics and the myth of Sisyphus ,and you’ll start making a lot of connections I think. “

12. *Pen is still screaming and baby cussing about not being able to climb back up the slide*

“The problem is that you set goals for yourself that are unattainable by both man and baby.”