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@mattthespratt / mattthespratt.tumblr.com

30|pan|he/him|autistic+adhd|🐍|🐍|🐍|🐍|🐍|🐍|🐍
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reblogged
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sablingart

Making a box for the PokΓ©mon Hanafuda cards and I ended up making it a set

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reblogged
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dakt37

Hey, if you're a minor and you're following my blog, I just need you to be aware:

You have been on this earth for fewer years than my cat has.

She turns 20 this week, everyone please say happy birthday πŸ₯³πŸ’–

Update! She tolerated wearing a hat for the occasion ✨

Good news, everyone!! πŸŽ‰

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reblogged

this is BEAUTIFUL

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afamoore

What the fuck did I just watch???

an INSPIRING exchange between two ADORABLE bears who LOVE each other

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haxardagron

Polar Bear Cafe

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duckdotcom

imagine if doorways grew back like scabbed over with fresh drywall and you had to keep carving them back out with a jabsaw to keep the doorway clear etc

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cryptotheism

Imagine if the membranes recoiled in pain every time you did this. Imagine if over time, some doorways became accustomed sensation. Imagine that very rarely, some even seemed to enjoy it.

*sleepover host voice* imagine if you two went to sleep

Oh for gods sake kids it’s like piercing an ear - that’s why you put a doorframe in - you don’t hang a door in drywall, you gremlins. You frame the door. It’s like those gauges that people put in their ears - the hole stays. It won’t scab over with a doorframe in it. You’ve lived around doors you whole life, you little clowns. Lights out

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macleod

Oh my goodness what an honor to be Calvin’s dad

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By Czeck writer Karel Čapek, inventor of the term β€˜robot’ as well!

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nadiacreek

This is one of my husband’s favorite short stories. He quotes it from memory. I’m pretty sure he can recite the entire thing from memory.

This is a tremendously impactful short story and every time I see it, it serves as an excellent reboot button for my state of mind.

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hiveswap

It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny

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elliot-amy

at my old job i had a coworker who was tired and made a coffee with like 6 or 8 shots of espresso and i just casually went up to them like β€œare you trying to meet god?” and not only was this absolutely hilarious to them but they brought it up in future conversations they thought it was so funny but to me this was just as casual as saying β€œwoah that’s a lot of coffee”

Being funny on Tumblr and then going to be funny in real life is like traveling to a foreign country and baby the currency exchange rate is biased in your favor

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thought they needed a little reminder that they still have far more to lose if they double down on this stupidity. spread the word, it seems they're... very forgetful about this.

A small collection (feel free to add):

@staff You're not very subtle.

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theybejeff

boost this shit and don’t spend a damn penny on any of their silly checkmarks or whatever until they do something about this

wow this post is more than half a year old...

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