I found the simultaneously worst and best Funko Pop

Egg.

my favorite pastime is listening to songs i liked in middle school and crying

It is a must to have a Haru look-alike in every sport anime or else it isn’t a sport anime

The unspoken rule

This tea is awful. It’s fucking disgusting. Don’t believe that lazy shit idyllic pastoral landscape on the goddamn cardboard box. It’s a damn lie and if you drink this tea you’ll know the heart of minty darkness

Like OK I appreciate that it tries to prepare you for whats inside by a cute picture on the box. Fresh green mint leaves, and some candy cane sticks to get you in that shitty assfaced Christmas mood. Look it’s even tied with a repugnant little red bow. fuck this tea.

So if you open the box and immediately steep a cup prepare to get one of those cute lil candy canes up your FUCKING NOSE and in your FUCKING EYES because this shit doesn’t know personal space in the same way a demon from hell doesn’t know a loving God.

I hope you like drinking your throat lozenges because here’s a blistering stream an actual menthol golem would piss down your fucking throat while you gag on its candy-striped wiener. 

So you lock this shit in a box for 3 months while you recover from the worst toothpaste-flavored blowjob of your life and maybe get yourself together again. You recover. You move on. Things are looking pretty up and you think back, well maybe that godforsaken tea didn’t really taste like a peppermint Siberia. So you make a cup like the foolish piece of shit you are

and you’re right, but so wrong about the character and nature of your mistake you might as well star in Greek tragedy. You pathetic bag of bollocks.

because in the months its been locked in a top-shelf tomb the life and vehement mint-based hatred for the physical world has withered and desiccated out of its soulless teabag husks.

Now what you have got in your fucking unfortunate mug is a hot steaming cup of fuck you that tastes like the inside of the birch tree on the fucking box, or maybe Santa’s tears mixed with mummy dust, or midwinter leaf litter a vaguely minty dog only rolled in once.

The aftertaste stinks of wax. Why wax? Because it wants to remind you that you’re the kid who ate birthday candles in first grade, that’s why. And every single other bad decision you now regret.

fuck this tea. fuck it, it tastes like a hollow  mannequin of a tea, hot leaf swill unfit to fertilize even fake fucking flowers.Maybe you could tan leather in it. I don’t fucking know but get it away from me and the human race. Fucking shoot it at the moon where it belongs with all of the other celestial fucking seasonings. fuck

This rant can be applied to about 50% of Celestial Seasonings’ teas, btw.

I read this out loud to my roommate and at the fifth paragraph I had to take a breather because I was laughing too hard to talk

That was a wild ride

Today, I fucked up... in court

So this morning I was in court disputing a traffic ticket when I called the judge “your majesty”…

Today, I fucked up... by changing my husband's desktop photo

This happened last night, not today, but still less than 24 hours ago.

So my husband LOVES birds, all kinds of birds. He thinks they are great. He is especially fond of ducks. Last night while he was in the kitchen prepping a snack, I thought it would be fun to change the desktop photo on his laptop (he had left it open on the couch). I found a cute duck picture, made it his desktop background, set the laptop back on the couch, and made my way innocently back to the kitchen table where I had also been having a snack.

My husband finishes his snack a little while later and heads back to the couch while I remain at the table. He pulls his computer towards him and goes, “OMG honey look! Ducks!” As he stands up holding his laptop and tries to come to me, he trips and falls over the glass end table we have, shattering it. If that wasn’t bad enough, he fell onto his macbook, smashing it completely open and crushing it. If that also wasn’t bad enough, he also broke his wrist because of how he fell on it since he was holding the laptop.

I feel like a terrible person, but my husband still loves ducks.

TL;DR: My husband got so overexcited over a picture of ducks I procured that he broke himself, a table, and his macbook.

@justanotherstupidname

reblog if your lock/home screen is a picture of an actor/fictional character and write in the tags their name/character

if this gets to 10,000 notes, i’ll get a tattoo of the weirdest stock photo i can find

suggestions are welcome

flYNN OH MY G O D

oops

i am going to reblog this as many times this come on my dash

I honestly have no idea if that’s a good thing or not

how about

one of these

The sunflower one looks like a strong contestant

I support this terrible decision.

thanks for your support

dude good luck

I’ll need it

This will be great

*feels myself dissociating and staring off into space*

*shifts my eyes to try and snap out of it*

*starts staring off into space in the new direction*

how to tell if I'm sad again

•I don’t respond to your texts for days

•I don’t respond to your texts for hours

•I don’t respond to your texts at all

•I respond with short answers

•I sound disinterested in our conversations, texting or not

•I don’t eat/drink/talk as much as usual

•I stare out into space more than often

•I stay in one place/a few places for long periods of time without moving v much

•I lose track of time

•I rub my head/eyes as if I have a migraine

•I talk more quietly than normal

•I don’t talk abt myself at all

•I make cynical comments, especially abt my existence

•I sleep too much or too little

this is not just me, though. these are common signs/things to be aware of and look for in people/friends/family members struggling w depression. stay safe, and stay aware.

there’s bad movies that you just turn off ten minutes in but then there’s bad movies that are an adventure

The Truth

Sasuke is a Little Bitch 

u ever get in like a certain mood and u wanna change ur aesthetic and purge ur closet and rearrange ur room and live a different life but then u realize ur broke and u can do nothing