@teastainsandink / teastainsandink.tumblr.com
What’s your fantasy?
I wake up, my debt is all paid off, my bank account is full, my relationships with my family are healthy, and I’m able to travel anywhere in the world.
reblog for this ultimate fantasy life to come true
My boss’s first language isn’t English. However, she loves giving inspirational speeches to everyone. I think today she was trying to tell us “don’t just stand around looking pretty”, but what she actually said was “WE DONT HAVE TIME TO BE SEXY”.
It reminds me of my Russian boss at the bakery. I didn’t wrap the bread correctly so she told me to “Snuggle like baby. Bread is your baby, Shelly. It’s sweet and gentle. Fragile, Italian.”
I had a renaissance literature professor who was originally from Germany. One time when we were complaining about how difficult a paper assignment was, she told us “it’s not rocket surgery” cause she got the phrases mixed up and it was the most adorable thing.
as a child i was always amazed by how fast adults could chop onions and then before you know it you’re chopping onions very fast and that’s it that’s life
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
they will get a ticket and they will go and see bts
who
the army who is reading this
a greek chorus which just shouts “oh shit” at relevant intervals
I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that
@tabbran please add lemon man story to this
That was a wild goddamn ride
god this was worth the read
this is amazing.
if someone makes you happy, make them happier
This mindset will make you the kindest you can be
no way in hell am i passing this up
a student from uni scrolled past this and ended up failing all of his courses, even the ones he thought he passed… not gonna take this chance.
just for luck 😭
I would watch the hell out of this
Reblog to have something good happen at 1:42 tomorrow
it feels good to know that some people kiss for the first time today, some people finally get their dream job, some people finish reading their favorite book, some people get over someone, some people win against their disorder, some people have a baby, some people go on vacation, some people reunite, some people find a new favorite song, some people sleep next to each other, some people live today, some people survive today.
reblog this post with a cool animal species lets make a wholesome thread
ok ill give a headstart:
i really like leopard seals
axolotls are p rad
I LOVE THOSE
potoos look like muppets and i ove tem
here’s a quokka it’s like someone decided to splice together a wallaby and a teddy bear they literally always look like a benevolent cartoon
i don’t think you can get more wholesome than that adorable lil seed-eating smiley face. they’re not even like dolphins, cute on the outside and evil on the inside. they’re herbivores about the size of a cat. there is nothing wrong with them.
The Springhaas, or “irl pikachu” as it is sometimes known, is basically a rat shaped like a bunny abruptly caught in the middle of trying to evolve into a kangaroo. This is why they tend to look startled.
This is a dik dik. They are tiny antelopes from southern and eastern Africa–seriously so smol. With teeny hooves and teeny horns and big soulful eyes. And the name is fun to say. It comes from the alarm call that the females make. They live together in monogamous pairs.
Long Eared Jerboa
The adorable mash-up of a hamster, bunny, and kangaroo. Whiskers with no end, ears that put a fennec to shame, and adorability beyond measure!
bringing this back on your dashes
a sichuan takin bull and his daughter
often the color of donald trump’s hair and looking like a cross between a bison and a guinea pig, the takin is actually a bloody big goat-antelope. they have splendid noses, a natural smile, and share their habitat with pandas. which should be good enough for anyone.
This is an okapi. They are related to giraffe, can lick their own eyeballs and kind of always look like you just asked them for a ride to the airport but look at those ears and the little striped legs ~(*^*)~
Chambered nautilus! A living fossil! I also love axolotl though.
A cinnamon bear! Actually a member of the black bear family, they’re one of the more calm species out there. We also have matching hair <3 Enjoy this one with a heart on its chest!
HIGHLAND COWS
This is the most wholesome post on tumblr.
I love echidnas
ESPECIALLY BABY ECHIDNAS
Fennec foxes!!
I love all of these!
Capybaras! They’re the largest cavy species,(cavies are animals like guinea pigs) They’re BASICALLY a giant golden retriever in the skin of guinea pig.
MANATEES
They’re just big lumps that float around the sea. They’re non-aggressive, non-territorial herbivores that spend most of their time sleeping or eating, or they might be socializing with other manatees or investigating interesting objects.
Best of all, as of this year they are no longer endangered!!
Maine coons!! So soft and friendly!!!
Look at these babies!!!
Majestic af!!!
Because, why mow the lawn when you have ponies!
Sand Cats! Even the adults look like regular kittens, and the kittens are weapons-grade cute :3
Viscachas look like rabbits with longer tails, but they’re actually related to chinchillas. Also they have a tendency to look like meditating monks when they sunbath.
chinese water deer!
look at them there dorky fangs
A pleasantly round birb I saw at work the other day.
no pangolins? They is ooo cute.
Epaulette sharks are small, cute, and are named for their lovely shoulder decorations! Instead of swimming, they oftentimes use their fins to walk along the ocean floor. I love them.
And another small shark that walks, the cloudy catshark:
Quality snoot!
qualitoot.
This portmanteau was created from phrase ‘quality snoot’. Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1
Really happy to see this at my local library
OOOOH. *happy YA librarian dance*
I want this in every library, everywhere. After all, some kids won’t even google this stuff because they don’t want parents/siblings checking their browser history.
This is really awesome. And if you’re not familiar with how the Dewey Decimal system works - the numbers subject-based, which means these numbers are applicable in EVERY library. So if you see something you want to research on this list - look for those same numbers in any of your local libraries.
This is wonderful.
Reblogging to possibly save a life
“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
not even risking that shit
scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button.
Nope. I know better, have your reblog Madame Zeroni.
who the fuck is Madame Zeroni
Look at these stupid children who don’t know who Madame Zeroni is
☝🏾😂
Man lissen if you don’t know you better ask somebody AFTER you hit the reblog button
Idk who she is but I have an exam today so I’ll reblog her
idk who she is but i have an exam today so i’ll reblog her
^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!
Because wise, I am.
Oh fucks no she’s back lmao must reblog. I’m sorry guys
