Peeking Behind The Curtain

So it's official. Guillermo met nandor at a Panera bread , felt a burning in his heart and goosebumps on his body and really REALLY misinterpreted the reason why

the fact that nandor, laszlo, and guillermo all have the same cover story about working at the railroad might actually be my favourite part of the whole episode

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS 4.05 || 4.07

I grabbed my phone so fucking fast to take this

"Indeed, when he applied to become an astronaut, he failed on the first attempt. Part of the test featured the famous Rorschach ink-blots psychiatric exam. “I leafed through a whole series of them, and then the last one was a blank sheet of paper, pure white, eight by 10,” he once recalled. “I was asked what I could see. And I said, ‘Well, of course, that’s 11 polar bears fornicating in a snow bank.’ And I could see the examiner’s eyes kind of tighten. He didn’t think that was funny.”"

Fave new twitter thread

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS | Pine Barrens (4.07)

requested by @lymeandcoconut

guillermo de la cruz is literally THE most character of all time. hes gay. hes latino. hes fat. hes badass. hes sexy. hes a serial killer. hes a mamas boy. hes insane. hes the most normal one here. hes by birth and lineage a vampire killer. hes spent 13 years trying to become a vampire. hes my best friend hes my pal, my homeboy, my rotten soldier, hes my sweet cheese my good time boy

So I used to have a Russian friend who had a pretty thick accent and like a lot of Russians tended to eschew articles. She would say things like “Get in car.” And stuff.

Well one day this asshole who had been kind of tagging along with us asks her why she talks like that because it makes her sound dumb and I still remember her response word for word.

“Me? Dumb? Maybe in America you have to say get in THE car because you are so stupid that people might just get in random car, but in Russia we don’t need to say that. We just fucking know because we are not stupid.”

One time I was proof reading a paper for a Russian student. As I was correcting her paper with her, the many mistakes in her grammar started weighing on her. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, almost sobbing,

“In Russian I am so intelligent and clear. In English I am like [an] idiot”

Respect to anyone trying to master a foreign language. I get so sad thinking about that student.

Full offense but people who make fun of someone else’s accent or belittle their limited vocabulary when they’re speaking a language not native to them are fucking disgusting and are just begging to be punched.

They’re speaking your language because you don’t know theirs. That’s not something they should be made fun of, it’s something that should be commended because learning a language is hard fucking work.

I hate people who do this so much.

Fun Fact! If your audience has successfully figured out your twists and ending, congratulations!!! That means your content makes sense.

God can you imagine if Donald Trump became president? There’d be like a new bubonic plague and he’d be like “idk drink bleach about it”

Throwback to when I took acid for the first time in 2013 and predicted the events of 2020 like the fucking oracle of Delphi

Holy shit

The way his face jumps around and the mario music really just pulls the whole thing together