One More Time - Pt. 2
As I stated before, this follows the Something Borrowed plot for the most part, but if you’re obsessed like me, you’ll notice some changes. (Parts skipped, expanded scenes, etc.) Thank you all for the lovely comments/likes/reblogs with the sneak peek, I’m so very happy to post this second part for you! I do hope you enjoy it. :)
I’ll add a warning for smut, but really it’s just a bit.
She tears the sheets from her bed, shoving them into her already overflowing laundry basket. He had left in a hurry after their second go that morning. Rae’s phone had been ringing off the hook, but when she was pinned under Finn’s body nothing was distracting them from their desire, their need. Rae thanked the heavens that her answering machine couldn’t be heard from the other room, lest they would hear Chloe’s voice and have that dampen the mood. Instead, Rae could focus on the way Finn’s eyes squeezed shut every time he thrust into her, springing back open as he pulled himself from her body. She could focus on the way his hand felt skimming up the length of her long legs, grasping the side of her thigh to tilt her pelvis up, allowing him to get that much deeper.
She bites her lip a bit too hard, pulling herself out of her thoughts. It’s been three hours since he left her flat and she can’t stop reverting back to this daydreaming mess. “Get a grip, Rae,” she mutters to herself and walks to the kitchen to put the kettle on.
She had shagged her best mate’s fiancé, proper shagged him…twice…sober. She knows she should feel worse about it, but she doesn’t. Sure she’d had a bit of a freak out earlier, but that was only because once they’d rolled out of bed everything seemed real. Everything was tinged with guilt, but Finn was strong, he had soothed her, told her everything was alright. No matter how many times she told him what a horrible person she is, he just held her, reassured her that he’d think of something, that she wasn’t a horrible person. By the 15th time the phone had rung, Rae’s nerves were getting the best of her. She had thrown Finn’s boxers at him, shouted at him to not be naked and wrapped herself in her fuzzy bathrobe. She had paced and paced and paced around her tiny flat. Her downstairs neighbors had finally taken a broom to their ceiling and she stopped herself. When the phone started to ring again Rae had looked to Finn, fear apparent in her eyes. Figuring that it was in their best interest, Finn had left with a lingering kiss to her temple and a whispered happy birthday.
The familiar whistle of the kettle calls her into the kitchen. Tea makes everything alright according to Finn. Her stomach tightens at the slightest thought of him. He better be right because they may have just fucked everything up. Tea in hand, she makes her way into her bedroom, but the shrill ring of her telephone sends her padding back into the kitchen.
“Hello?” her voice is raspy from lack of use.
The tightening in her belly feels like it might cause her to throw up. “H..hiya,” she finds her voice again. She clears her throat. “I thought I told you not to call me that, Finnley.” She can hear him chuckle.
“Mae…” his voice is firm. “I..I..just wanted ta make sure you’re OK.” He’s quieter now, the confidence in his voice somewhat waning. “You know, last night was…” He’s cut off and she can hear Chloe’s voice through the receiver.
“Hi Rae,” Chloe’s voice is bright and cheery as she takes the phone from Finn.
Rae rolls her eyes. “Everythin’ alright, Chlo?”
“Yes, fine.” Rae can hear her tell Finn she’ll be right back. “Right so…do you think Finn would cheat on me?” Before Rae can answer, she continues. “I mean…hot people get cheated on, right?” She pauses. “It’s just…Finn didn’t come home last night. He says he was with Chop at the pub, but he’s been acting all guilty. He says we need to talk.”
“Does he?” Rae hopes her voice doesn’t sound too expectant.
“Yeah, whatever that means.”
“I’m sure he hasn’t cheated,” Rae interjects before Chloe can continue. She swallows back the bile rising in her throat, her lust filled haze finally dissipating. “He loves you, Chlo.”
“I know I know. Anyway, gotta go. Bye bye bye.”
The line is dead. No happy birthday Rae. No sorry I bailed on your birthday dinner. Nothing.
Chloe takes her place on the pedestal, turning to look at her reflection in each of the mirrors surrounding her. The mermaid style dress fits her perfectly and she looks beautiful.
“That one, Chlo,” Rae makes her vote. “Definitely that one.”
Chloe’s mum is tilting her head to the side, she’s inspecting the dress for any possible flaw. When she can’t find anything wrong with the dress, her posture straightens and she sits back in her chair. “The best one, Chloe dear.”
Stacey’s hands are clasped in front of her chest, she’s grinning at her friend. “Gorgeous!”
Rae can’t help but roll her eyes. Every word out of Stacey’s mouth sounds exaggerated and fake. Rae looks back to Chloe, examining her best friend’s face in the mirror. Is that a tear? Why is her face scrunched like that? “Chlo, you OK?”
Chloe turns to her friends and mum, her hands firmly on her hips. “I want to see if my mascara runs, Rae,” her words come out clipped, as if she’s reprimanding her friend. “I can’t have my picture taken with black smudges under my eyes. I want to look good.”
Both Chloe’s mum and Stacey turn to look at Rae, their eyes narrowed. Rae’s eyes widen, her head pulling back on her neck. “OK OK, I get it.” But she doesn’t get it, for a moment there Rae thought her friend might actually be so in love with Finn that she was crying, crying because she couldn’t imagine spending her life with anyone else. No, she just wanted to make sure her bloody mascara wouldn’t run when she forced out tears on her wedding day.
“Rae, could you do me a favor, babes?” Chloe stares at Rae expectantly.
“There’s this 90s cover band playing next Tuesday.”
Rae groans. “Chloe, I have to work.”
“But Rae, you know Finn would love to have them at the wedding. You know more about music than me. I’d never pick right.” She’s pulling out all the stops. “Please please please?” Chloe bats her eyelashes at Rae, her bottom lip stuck out.
Rae sighs, resigned. She never can say no to her oldest friend. Rae can’t figure out whether it’s some twisted sense of loyalty or whether she really just wants to please her best mate of 15 years. “Fine. I’ll go with you.”
Chloe beams at her. “I can always count on you, Rae.”
“Archie, come on. Be nice.” Rae tugs on Archie’s hand, pulling him from her stoop.
“I can’t believe you’re making me go,” he groans.
She tries to sound chipper, she really doesn’t want to be in the same house as Chloe and Finn, especially not without the reinforcement of Archie and Izzy. “Come on, Arch. It’ll be fun.”
Archie lip curls up in distaste. “Really Rae?”
She doesn’t get a chance to answer as Finn’s car pulls down her street, backstreet boys blaring from its speakers. Chloe’s choice she surmises. She can see Chloe hanging from the passenger seat, waving. When they pull up to the curb, an unfamiliar man steps out from the backseat. He’s dressed in khakis and a button down shirt, a fedora perched high on his dark hair. Rae can feel him glance over her body, coming to rest on her face. He steps forward offering her his hand. “Hi, you must be Rae. I’m Steven.”
Rae offers him a small smile, instantly regretting it when he drags her hand to his mouth, placing a wet kiss against her knuckles. She quickly pulls her hand back, swiping it across the back of her jeans. “Hiya.”
“I feel like I’m in a bad Ralph Lauren commercial,” Archie grumbles from behind her.
Once they’re settled in the car, their luggage tucked safely in the boot of Finn’s car, they’re off to Chloe’s parent’s countryside home. Although lucky to have a place to get away with the gang, Rae couldn’t feel any less at ease. The ride is bumpy and uncomfortable, especially wedged between a grumpy Archie and a stranger. Chloe and Finn chat idly from the front seat, Finn has barely acknowledged Rae’s presence in the backseat. Steven actually makes the ride from Bristol to the country somewhat bearable. He’s loud and funny, keeping everyone entertained.
Rae turns to watch Archie as Steven tells a story about he and Finn when they were young. Archie mimics every word coming from Steven, his lips upturned in a sneer. Rae can’t tell if he’s jealous that Finn has another childhood best friend, but it’s amusing to watch. Archie’s mood fails to improve by the time they pull into the driveway and there on the deck is none other than Stacey Stringfellow.
“Mother of God what is she doing here?” Archie whispers urgently in Rae’s ear.
Rae can only shrug, she hadn’t known Stacey was coming. Rae watches as Chloe runs up the stairs, dancing into Stacey’s arms.
She’s touching him and it’s infuriating. Rae knows she has no right to feel this way, but she can’t take her eyes off Chloe’s hand on Finn’s arm. She’s stroking the skin of his bicep, trailing her fingers from his shoulder to his elbow. Rae’s hands ball into fists at her sides, her jagged fingernails pinching her palms. It wouldn’t be so mind numbingly irritating if they weren’t the same arms that were holding onto Rae 6 days earlier.
She’s thankful when Archie sidles up next to her. “You’ve got to stop staring.”
Rae turns to Archie. “Wha?”
Archie’s eyebrows furrow. “Not you. That freak over there.” He motions to Stacey, who is in fact staring at him quite openly. “She’s like a gremlin. I’m afraid someone might spill water on her and she’ll multiply.” He looks terrified at the possibility.
Rae chuckles, clasping his shoulder with her hand. “See what happens when you date people you don’t like?”
Archie scoffs. “I was 17, Rae. I wasn’t even sure if I was gay.” His eyes are downcast, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. “I do wish I hadn’t dated cuckoo bird over there though.” He cracks a smile. “Reckon I shouldn’t have listened to Chloe and should have gone after Lois instead.”
Stacey must take their laughter as an invitation to join them, but as soon as Archie spots her approaching he darts outside. Stacey changes course, following him outside. Rae turns back to the bar, gin in hand. She’s lost her distraction and has to keep her focus away from Chloe stroking Finn’s lower back now.
They’re all sufficiently drunk when they make their way back to the house, staggering up the driveway in pairs. Rae’s arm is looped through Steven’s as they traverse, he’s doing a fine job of keeping her upright. She can feel Finn glancing back at the pair every few minutes, but she doesn’t look up. If she has to watch Chloe kiss his neck one more time she’ll throw up.
Once inside, Steven grabs a beer and slides it across the counter to Rae. She nods in thanks. Rae notices a couple of awkward glances shared by Chloe and Steven and soon Chloe is sniggering. Rae’s eyebrows raise questioningly in Chloe’s direction.
“OK, bed time,” Chloe announces, tugging Finn towards the door. She catches Rae’s eye, wiggling her eyebrows and looking between Rae and Steven.
Finn must catch on because he’s pulling Chloe back into the kitchen. “But, I’m…I’m not tired.”
Rae looks up, meeting his eyes for the first time that night. He’s looking from Rae to Steven, his lips pursed.
“Well good, because I’m not tired either,” Chloe purrs from his side.
Rae imagines she must look like she’s been slapped across the face. She can feel her stomach churning, the bile rising again. Her head drops forward.
Steven steps forward, patting Finn on the shoulder, motioning with his head towards the doorway. “Night buddy.”
Finn’s face falls and he allows himself to be pulled from the room, his hand in Chloe’s.
While the sounds that start to flow downstairs make Steven hopeful that Rae will get in the mood, Rae can feel her heart start to splinter. The loud crescendo of Chloe’s orgasm sends Rae to the bathroom where she empties the contents of her stomach.
The only thing that gets Rae up in the morning is the knowledge that Chop and Izzy are arriving in a few hours. She drags herself out of bed and finds her way to the bathroom. The smell of alcohol is strong, it hangs heavy in the air. Rae can’t tell if it’s her or whether it’s creeping into the bathroom from Archie’s room. She props the door open to Archie’s room, standing in the doorway. She chuckles to herself. Archie is staying in a little girl’s room, a flowered duvet is wrapped tightly around him, a teddy bear snuggled against his chest. She wishes she could climb into bed with him and tell him everything, tell him about what happened between her and Finn. Surely her secrets back in college were bigger, scarier than her sleeping with Finn. Archie had always been understanding and offered sound advice. But, to tell the truth, she isn’t sure how Archie will react. He and Finn were best mates for so long, but haven’t been for a few years. Everyone felt the shift in Finn when he started to date Chloe, especially Archie. She’ll tell him another day, perhaps.
Rae decides that she needs a shower stat, so she let’s Archie sleep. She scrubs the sweat and grime from her body, hoping the water will help scour her brain free of the events of last night. Feeling refreshed, dressed in jeans and a jumper, she tiptoes downstairs. Chloe is sat at the table, a mug in her hand. “I’ve got to run to the store. Forgot my headphones,” Rae tells her.
“I can take you.” Rae turns to find Finn standing behind her.
“Yeah, let babe take you,” Chloe agrees.
Rae takes a deep breath, nodding her agreement. The ride to the store is jarringly quiet, no banter, no easy chatter between the pair. As they pull into a parking spot in front of the small general store, Finn turns to her, his brows furrowed in concern.
“Can we just forget this happened?” Rae speaks up before he can, motioning with her right hand between them.
He looks pained at her suggestion, the crease between his eyebrows deepening. He sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, turning his head from her.
“It’s just…why did it happen, Finn?” She wants to know, but what help will it be? “Wait, don’t tell me. I don’t need to know. We were both drunk.”
She watches his fingers flex against the steering wheel. She’s surprised by the words that come from his lips. “I wasn’t that drunk, Rae.” He won’t look at her and she’s rather glad, she can feel the tears start to sting her eyes.
If she were honest with him, she wasn’t drunk either. “It was a mistake, Finn.”
He takes a deep breath, his eyes closing. His grip on the steering wheel is tight. “Yeah, I guess it were a mistake.” Before he can continue, she bolts from the car.
The drive back to the house is even more uncomfortable and awkward. Rae keeps stealing glances at Finn. He’s chewing on the inside of his cheek and he looks like he has something to say, but every time he turns to Rae he loses the nerve to say the words he so desperately wants to say.
As Finn’s car pulls in the drive, Izzy runs out the door and down the steps. She throws her arms around Rae, a welcoming embrace. “I’m so excited Chop got the day off.” She’s beaming at Rae.
Rae can’t help but crack a smile, Izzy’s good mood is contagious. It allows Rae to forget the way Finn looked at her when she said it was a mistake, forget about his quick agreement. “You ready to go down to the water? I think everyone is having sandwiches down there.”
Izzy grins and takes Rae’s hand in hers, dragging her towards the water and her friends, an increasingly grumpy Finn trailing behind them.
“Hi Raemundo,” Chop runs up from the edge of the water to the girls. He kisses Rae on the cheek before grabbing ahold of Izzy, spinning her in his arms. Chop is quick to place Izzy on the ground when he catches sight of Finn approaching. “Why such a grumpy mug, Nelson?” Chop shouts. When Finn doesn’t answer he walks over towards him and Rae can hear him ask how he’s doing, but Finn waves him off. Chop slings his arm around Finn’s shoulders and the pair turn to walk down the path near the water, away from the group.
She turns to Archie. He’s wrapped in a blanket on the sand, a beer held out towards her. She grabs the beer. “Thanks, Arch.”
“I’ve only been shouting your name for the last few minutes,” Archie mutters.
“Sorry. Just off in la-la land. That gin last night did my head in.” It had nothing to do with the fact that she was busy watching Finn.
They find themselves at the same pub as the night before, but it’s much rowdier and everyone appears to be dancing tonight. Rae can’t pull herself away from the argument happening in front of her. She knows it’s rude to stare, but this is just too bleedin’ entertaining.
“No Stacey, I’m pretty sure I’ve always been gay. No wait, I know for a fact that I’ve always been gay. I was just confused.” Archie’s voice gets higher the more frustrated he becomes.
“But, you touched me, Archie. We snogged at least 15 times.” She still doesn’t understand.
“Archie looks to Rae for back up, but she holds her hands up in front of her. Not touching this. "I like men, Stacey.”
“But surely you like women too.”
Archie rolls his eyes, exasperated. Rae is surprised when he turns from Stacey and walks over to the dance floor, walking up behind Steven. To emphasis his point to Stacey, he wraps his hands around Steven’s hips, his nose nuzzling the back of Steven’s hair. Rae can’t hide her laughter when she notices Steven tense up and turn to Archie. Stacey doesn’t get a chance to see the rest of the interaction unfold because she turns on her heel and marches towards the bathroom.
It isn’t long before the laughter dies down and the distraction of Izzy, Chop and Archie wears thin. Rae’s eyes zero in on Finn on the dance floor. Chloe has her arms wrapped around his neck, her body pressed up against his, her hips swaying with the beat of the song. Rae’s jaw starts to ache from clenching it so tightly. “I’ll show him,” Rae doesn’t realize she’s said it out loud until she notices three sets of eyes on her. She looks at her friends, smiling around the straw between her lips. She sips the remainder of her drink down, she’ll need liquid courage for this. She sets her drink down, grabs ahold of Steven’s shirt and pulls him to the dance floor. He looks only too happy to join her. Rae barely notices Izzy, Chop and Archie watch her from the bar.
Chloe cheers as Rae and Steven join the pair on the floor, her arms still securely around Finn’s neck. Rae takes note of Chloe’s movements, mimicking them, using Steven’s body in the same manner that Chloe uses Finn’s. Rae can’t help but notice that Finn’s attention is directly on her, his hands are on Chloe’s hips, but his eyes are glued to Rae. More precisely, Finn’s eyes are glued to Steven’s hands on Rae’s hips. Chloe turns in Finn’s arms, shimmying her bum back against his crotch. Rae has to hide her look of disgust, turning in Steven’s arms, her bum pressed into him. Chloe is laughing while she rubs back against Finn, shouting for Rae to do as she’s doing. Finn’s eyes continue to follow Rae, his hands at his sides, his attention never leaving Rae.
The feel of Steven’s hands tight against her hips, his thumb barely grazing her lower back is starting to make Rae feel nauseous. When he places his lips against the back of her neck it’s too much. She has to get out of there. What is she doing? This isn’t her. She rushes off the floor, but can still hear Chloe behind her. “She’s fine, Finn. She’s fine, just leave her.”
She welcomes the cold air that hits her as she steps outside, it’s soothing.
Izzy comes barreling through the door, almost smacking into Rae, closely followed by Archie. "You OK, Rae?“ Izzy asks, moving to Rae and placing an arm around her waist.
Rae nods. "Just had a bit of a panic attack, I think.”
Archie’s arm moves around Rae’s shoulders, pulling her to him. “What was that really about, Rae?” He’s looking down at her, his eyebrows raised above his glasses and in that moment she’s aware that he knows. Of course Archie knows.
The band is surprisingly good and for a Tuesday night the pub is packed. Rae isn’t even that angry at Chloe for bailing on her last minute. Bailing on her own plans to see a band that she might want for her wedding. Rae sighs. At least she has good music and all the snakebites she can drink. As the singer starts to croon Wonderwall, Rae glances around the room. It appears that all the couples of Bristol must have thought to come to this pub tonight. Rae notices movement out of the corner of her eye, turning to see Finn weaving through the crowd towards her. Her breath hitches in her throat. What is he doing here? He looks so serious, too serious, but he takes the seat next to her.
“Hiya,” she squeaks out. She thought she’d sound bolder.
Rae wonders whether the awkwardness will always be there. “Why…"
She’s quickly interrupted by Finn, he speaks over her, more confidently than normal. "Why didn’t you tell me how you felt back in College, Rae?”
“I told you…you had Chlo…”
He holds his hand up between them. “I only kissed Chloe because you kissed Archie.” He’s defensive.
“It wouldn’t have changed anything if I’d told ya.” She’s annoyed that he’s brought this up.
“How do you know, Rae? Huh?” His voice is raised and a few patrons have turned to look at them. He continues. “You’re all I wanted back in College, Rae. You’re all I ever thought about.” The confidence in his voice is wearing off.
She wants to run. She doesn’t want to hear this. Doesn’t want to hear it now, with his wedding three months away. “Why are you telling me this now, Finn?” She’s surprised by the harshness in her own voice.
“I…I can..can’t stop thinking about you. I…I need ta..ta know, Rae.” He’s struggling to get the words out. “Do you have feelings for me?”
Of course she has feelings for him she wants to shout, but she can’t. He and Chloe deserve to be happy. "It’s too late, Finn.” She shakes her head, she can’t look at him, he’ll know her heart is shattering with those words. How could he not? “It’s just too late.” Rae picks up her bag and pushes her way through the sea of bodies. She can’t breathe.
She’s barely a block away before she starts to feel too light headed to run. Her breath is coming in little gasps and she has to brace herself against a bench.
Her body tenses at the sound of his voice.
“Just listen ta me for a minute. Maybe if you hadn’t run away at the chippy the morning after the rave…maybe.” He doesn’t finish his thought. “Just please listen. You know I’m no…no good with speaking, but I have ta…have ta try.”
She turns to Finn. His eyes are focused on his boots and he’s wringing his hands in front of him. He’s nervous and all she wants to do is calm his hands, assure him that everything is fine, but she can’t. It’s not fine.
"Mae…I…I’ve always had feelings for ya. I’ve tried..tried to bury them as deep as I could.” He’s clutching the front of his t-shirt above his heart. “It’s just when…when I thought maybe you had them t-too, now they’re right here, right at the surface.” He takes a step towards her, his hand still resting against his chest. “If you don’t have feelings for me, I understand.” He’s biting down on his lip so hard that she thinks he might draw blood. “I just have ta know…if whatever this is..” He motions between them. “If it’s mutual and there’s a chance, I need to explore it. We need to explore it.”
She’s stunned. She hadn’t expected so many words to come pouring out of Finn’s mouth. Hadn’t expected him to be so honest. He looks so lost, so worried that she doesn’t feel the same, like if she tells him no he’ll crumple.
She flings herself forward, but he’s caught off guard, causing them both to stumble back against the wall of a building. His laughter is quickly cut off when she presses into him, her lips finding his. The taste of tobacco and fosters is rapidly becoming one of her favorites. His right hand tangles in her hair, his left hand securely on her waist, pulling her closer to him. She’s taken by surprise when his tongue traces over her bottom lip, but she allows him access to the depths of her mouth. A groan escapes him and he’s thrusting his pelvis forward. Her fingers are clasping the sides of his trousers and she shifts back against him. They’ve forgotten where they are and they’re all hands fumbling over now familiar curves and valleys and tongues seeking out hidden spaces in the other’s mouth. What was meant to be a kiss of confirmation of her feelings for him has quickly evolved into a lustful union. The hollering coming from a group of teenage boys is the only thing that causes the pair to pull apart. Finn looks right grumpy, flipping the boys off.
Rae laughs and peppers kisses from Finn’s ear, down his jaw and to his lips. He tries to pull her closer, but her hand on his chest tells him she’s got something to say. “I do have feelings for you, Finn. I wish I didn’t, but I do.” She can’t bring herself to look at him, but he’s not allowing that.
His thumb and forefinger pinch the bottom of her chin, tilting her face up and forcing her to look at him. “Tell me again.”
For once, she’s lost for words. Thankfully Finn is happy to let her take a page out of the Nelson playbook and let her lips do the talking against his, affirming her feelings for him.
