Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.

I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.

Me: I shall become his mother and gain his trust

Me talking to an animal control officer five minutes later: he is a nasty horrid little boy and I am bleeding heavily

Animal control officer on the phone: So he’s in your car with you?

Me: Um. It’s his car now and he’s very mad at me.

Second animal control officer: oh you captured him and got him in your car? He’s friendly?

Me, my right hand completely wrapped in paper towels: wouldn’t say that

Urgent Care Nurse: Wow it’s strange he managed to get you so many times.

Me: I uh. Did not let go.

You vibe as someone prone to toxic relationships

People on tumblr will just say anything huh.

Oh cmon, "he hurt me a lot cause i couldn't let go" absolutely has double interpretation.

Me, holding a cat (of unknown gender) as it repeatedly digs its little teeth deep into my flesh: Is this… too… yuri?

This website is free

We pay in other ways.

obsessed with kabru

I wish the world worked like it did in the stardew valley universe. If I'm strapped for cash I should be able to go grab some blackberries off the nearest roadside bush and go sell them to a grocery store for a quick ten bucks. I should be able to think "huh I wanna go talk to the wizard today" and then I go talk to the wizard in his wizard tower

And then the wizard transes your gender for $500 in his basement

I just wanted to make this post to warn yall about it, I am not a tech genius but I wanted to get a vpn and surfshark was one I knew about so i subscribed to them because it seemed ok, that was where I fucked up.

fast forward a year and now I am trying to cancel my yearly auto-renewing subscription which costs 70 fuckin bucks, didnt find much use in surfshark as it was too laggy when using its vpn services so i go to billing and try to cancel.

there was no cancel button so that was odd, and you cant turn off auto-renew so i figure ill just get rid of my card info so it cant charge me.

i cant or at least i cant figure out how.

I go to help and find the cancellation area after scrolling past why you should keep the subscription and it tells me to contact their live support to cancel, It requires my name and gmail, I know for a fact my gmail is correct but it says its wrong and that my name is wrong no matter how many ways I enter it and I cant find a possible username anywhere on the site i could use. Its for all practical reasons impossible for me to cancel, not just the fact I cant even talk to customer support, but the people on reddit that do, talk to a bot and then the agents take months to actually turn off the subscription so it charges again and there is no refunds.

dont use surfshark VPN

old man yaoi's #1 hater

shuro's terrible, horrible, no good very bad lunch.

restaurant au: 1 / 2

gay old men? in MY restaurant? its more likely than you think.

1 / 2 / 3

bonus laios pov

Together they can accomplish anything!

My redesign hot take is that if you’re aiming to “desexualize” a female character, don’t make her boobs smaller. You’re implying a lot here.

Instead of shrinking her boobs, try:

There are probably lots more options too! I’m not an artist! Just a person with a big chest and back pain!

Actually, people are good by nature and you're a fool if you think otherwise.

When you sneeze in public, strangers will say "bless you", even though they don't know you.

When you ask for directions on the street someone will show you the way, even though they have nothing to gain from it.

People squeeze their legs against the chair so you don't have to hop over them on your way to your seat in the theatre, and make funny faces to make babies laugh, and purposefully step on leaves to hear them scrunch, and hold the door open for someone leaving behind them, and ask what floor you're heading to when you enter the elevator, and send others photos of things that reminded them of them, and recommend each other songs, and ask if anyone else wants a coffee because they're getting one, and make videos teaching how to sew a button, and wish on shooting stars, and share fun facts, and listen to others rant about things they don't even understand, and let you cross the street first, and give a bit of their food to others, and laugh at jokes they don't find funny to make you feel good, and listen to kids talk for hours about nonsense, and let you know your keys fell from your pocket, and they may be strangers, but with every little gesture they're saying "I love you, I love you, I love you".

Imagine if eldritch giants attacked your village, massacred the entire population, your family, your friends, cooked and ate their corpses in front of you and then one of them found you cowering in its oversized belongings and went "Aww cute little creature, I'll keep you."

That's what happened to this critter.

funniest thing about living in the uk is there's like 3 transmasc healthcare specialists for the entire country so whenever you meet a trans guy who's had surgery you can be like "which one did you go for?" the same way you'd ask someone if they prefer butter or margarine on their toast. second funniest thing about living in the uk is we have a town called cockermouth and it's in cumbria.

can't even imagine what a working day must look like for one of those specialists. i like to picture him coming in and there's a row of transmascs lined up in front of him and he just raises his scalpel and cuts off all their tits with one sweep of his arm like a samurai

tags from @calamitys-child were too good to be lost

you have to make it homoerotic and weird

I see your "Laios is trans" but that dude is THE most apathetically agender person on the planet. Laios does not have time for gender. Laios does not even HAVE a gender identity, he removed it to make room for more Monster Facts.

#I firmly believe that if you offered laios the chance to instantly magically become a woman#He would excitedly ask if he could be an orc or troll or beastwoman#And then when you say it's human to human he'd lose all interest and not understand what the point would be then - by @onwardmotley

Yes I am, those fuckers were literally bird-brained.

Lol I think about this daily …some shit could hit any second.

smoke-chuck and bubblaios