Megorien

(via fotokto)

Fortnite, are you sure about this? Did you think it through?

[ID: Toph, a blind character from Avatar the Last Airbender, aiming a gun by closing one eye./end ID]

It's 2023 and this joke is still somehow even funnier than ever.

There was a German version of Deadpool called Deutschpool. He was like Deadpool but in lederhosen. He ate my leftovers. The only thing he said in English is when he smacked my ass and said, “Hey handsome”.

THESE?

even wilder is that adding a spouse onto your plan isn't like discounted or anything. it's not even twice what you were already paying. many times it's at least 3 times more expensive than each partner paying for their own insurance

when we say the medical insurance game is fucked, we mean on Every level

the problem with having a decade old tumblr blog is that there are posts on it from a decade ago

i’ve become a completely different person like 5 separate times since making those posts and there are STILL people finding them somehow

she's sooo fucking mad that we stop her from running into the garage to huff sawdust and poisons

i liek when kitties make dis face

johnny english really destroyed all movie logic

the funniest part is that he’s not even running

Mr Bean as a Persistence Predator

new reaction image

Life path unlocked. He’s a scientist now.

If your dad is telling you in great detail about something he’s passionate about, you’re going to be hooked even if you don’t understand a word.

He tells us more…

So now I have to deliver a quiet lecture on the Standard Model every night. He loves lists of things, like all the streets home from daycare, or the train stations between here and Central, so he loves hearing the list of leptons and quarks and bosons.

Anyway, I made this poster for him, based on the CPEP ones we used to have at uni . 

Alas I ran out of room for antimatter, colour charge and confinement, but hey, maybe there can be a second poster later.

It’s funny though — on the surface of it, it seems like it must be far too advanced for a 3yo. But when you think about it, quarks and leptons are no more or less real to him than, say, dinosaurs or planets, and he loves those too. And he recognises the letters on the particles.

I am absolutely overwhelmed by the kind and sweet things people are saying about this, thanks everyone ❤️

Addendum: he has really grasped onto the “everything is made of atoms” part of this, so tonight he listed just about every object he could think of and asked if it was made of atoms.

“And my bed?” Yes, and your bed. “And that wall?” Yep. “And the armchair?” Yes, the armchair too. … … “And… the book case?” Y—

“And my home?” Yep, the whole apartment block. “And your home? Oh wait, your home is my home.” Haha, it is. … … “But is it made of atoms?” Yep. “And… [best friend]’s home?” Yes, it is. And [other friend]’s home, and [third friend]’s home.

“Is [yet another friend]’s home?”

Update from the other night:

“Is my… is… [extremely long pause] is my atoms poster made up of atoms?” —Yes! Yes it is.

I have never heard such a contemplative silence. I think the next poster will have to be on the philosophy of referential language.

Update from this morning: after listing everything in sight (mummy? daddy? fridge? milk? cereal? table? etc.) he asks “is [baby sister] made up of atoms?”

yep!

*runs over to her on the floor* *puts face up real close to hers* “HI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”

@radioactivepeasant @themagdalenwriting @iusedtohaveanaccount

“HI! YOU’RE MADE UP OF LOTS OF ATOMS! DID YOU KNOW?”

If people were too mean to you when you were growing up, a newborn animal will materialize inside your brain and it’s so so scared and shivering and it will stay there for years. Decades, even. And whenever you say something kind of weird but true to your heart the animal will tell you “Noo! You can’t say that! If you say that, everyone will hate you!”. The animal means well. It’s so so small and everything is so scary for them and it’s just trying to protect you. But listen to me. Listen to me. Whenever this happens, you can’t do what the animal says. You can’t. If you do, you’ll become as scared as the animal. You have to keep saying weird shit. You have to keep doing things the animal wouldn’t approve of. If you do enough things that scare the animal, maybe one day it’ll go to sleep.

Buck after his first time with Tommy. Shirtless version on BluSky, because Tumblr decided it hates man tits.

Also this:

I think movies need more sex and i also think that actors need to be uglier and less in shape

You know I will actually

YEAHHHHHH, WALES MENTIONED!!!!