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The Names Jack

@forkindorkin / forkindorkin.tumblr.com

Gonna be a bit of a change
I've not been on here in ages, so I'm just gonna post stuff I like.
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draumboosky

I had to pee really bad and o forgot that I had just sliced jalapeño peppers and the chef is looking nice at me weird because I’m pouring milk on a rag and running to the bathroom

My dick has been on fire for over an hour

I told my chef what happened and he was like “you only make that mistake about fourteen times”

He tells me this story about this time he had gotten out of a chili class in which he had been cutting habenjero peppers all class and he goes back to his dorm and starts finger blasting his girlfriend and she stars SCREECHING.

She he fukin SPRINTS to the dorm prep kitchen and gets a gallon of heavy cream and runs back to the room. He starts pouring this shit all over her Cooze right, and she’s like shoveling cream into her hole. And he’s freaking out. Like he’s so sure that this chick is don’t with him forever.

So they deal with this thing and the cream works and he’s like massaging it into her pussy for like a half an hour because you have to constantly soak it to nullify the habenjero oils or whatever. And she gets INTO IT.

She fucking CUMS

And my chef tells me this stupid ass story and looks me in the eye and says to me

“Nothing says I love you like a gallon of heavy cream in her pussy”

And I think that’s the best sentence I’ve ever heard in my entire life.

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deicide4122

Yes good story but WHY IS IT IN LIKE 8 DIFFERENT PARTS DO YOU KNOW WHAT PARAGRAPHS ARE.

ITS THIS. YOU COULD HAVE DONE THIS.

SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE AT WORK AND CANT POST EVERYTHING AT ONE TIME FUCK OFF

its serialized. he’s a modern day dickens

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abracazabka
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feralrookie

OH MY GOD I NEEDED THIS

For the chronically anxious and/or otherwise mentally ill:

This is not a screamer, jumpscare, or any other kind of horror link I don’t know the name of. It will not cause you to question reality and as far as I’m aware, there is no reason it should cause any kind of hallucinations or psychosis. I don’t want to spoil the surprise because it’s DELIGHTFUL but I am happy to tell you it’s very sweet and gentle and also great lowkey stress relief. This is a cinnamon roll link appropriate for all ages (yes, all the way down to babies) and you will enjoy it if you click it. ❤️

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authorkims
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illisidifan

This is why she’s my favorite author.

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petermorwood

Check out “Barry Lyndon”, a film whose period interiors were famously shot by period lamp-and-candle lighting (director Stanley Kubrick had to source special lenses with which to do it).

More recently, some scenes in “Wolf Hall” were also shot with period live-flame lighting and IIRC until they got used to it, actors had to be careful how they moved across the sets. However, it’s very atmospheric: there’s one scene where Cromwell is sitting by the fire, brooding about his association with Henry VIII while the candles in the room are put out around him. The effect is more than just visual.

As someone (I think it was Terry Pratchett) once said: “You always need enough light to see how dark it is.

A demonstration of getting that out of balance happened in later seasons of “Game of Thrones”, most infamously in the complaint-heavy “Battle of Winterfell” episode, whose cinematographer claimed the poor visibility was because “a lot of people don’t know how to tune their TVs properly”.

So it was nothing to do with him at all, oh dear me no. Wottapillock. Needing to retune a TV to watch one programme but not others shows where the fault lies, and it’s not in the TV.

*****

We live in rural West Wicklow, Ireland, and it’s 80% certain that when we have a storm, a branch or even an entire tree will fall onto a power line and our lights will go out.

Usually the engineers have things fixed in an hour or two, but that can be a long dark time in the evenings or nights of October through February, so we always know where the candles and matches are and the oil lamp is always full.

We also know from experience how much reading can be done by candle-light, and it’s more than you’d think, once there’s a candle right behind you with its light falling on the pages.

You get more light than you’d expect from both candles and lamps, because for one thing, eyes adapt to dim light. @dduane​ says she can sometimes hear my irises dilating. Yeah, sure…

For another thing lamps can have accessories. Here’s an example: reflectors to direct light out from the wall into the room. I’ve tried this with a shiny foil pie-dish behind our own Very Modern Swedish Design oil lamp, and it works.

Smooth or parabolic reflectors concentrate their light (for a given value of concentrate, which is a pretty low value at that) while flatter fluted ones like these scatter the light over a wider area, though it’s less bright as a result:

This candle-holder has both a reflector and a magnifying lens, almost certainly to illuminate close or even medical work of some sort rather than light a room.

And then there’s this, which a lot of people saw and didn’t recognise, because it’s often described in tones of librarian horror as a beverage in the rare documents collection.

There IS a beverage, that’s in the beaker, but the spherical bottle is a light magnifier, and Gandalf would arrange a candle behind it for close study.

Here’s one being used - with a lightbulb - by a woodblock carver.

And here’s the effect it produces.

Here’s a four-sphere version used with a candle (all the fittings can be screwed up and down to get the candle and magnifiers properly lined up) and another one in use by a lacemaker.

Finally, here’s something I tried last night in our own kitchen, using a water-filled decanter. It’s not perfectly spherical so didn’t create the full effect, but it certainly impressed me, especially since I’d locked the camera so its automatic settings didn’t change to match light levels.

This is the effect with candles placed “normally”.

But when one candle is behind the sphere, this happens.

 It also threw a long teardrop of concentrated light across the worktop; the photos of the woodcarver show that much better.

Poor-people lighting involved things like rushlights or tallow dips. They were awkward things, because they didn’t last long, needed constant adjustment, didn’t give much light and were smelly. But they were cheap, and that’s what mattered most.

They’re often mentioned in historical and fantasy fiction but seldom explained: a rushlight is a length of spongy pith from inside a rush plant, dried then dipped in tallow (or lard, or mutton-fat), hence both its names.

Here’s Jason Kingsley making one.

@lurkinglurkerwholurks look it’s Cherryh of the Cuckoo’s Egg!

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gffa

Sorry but I love the booping, it's silly and ridiculous and downright whimsical! You can opt out if you want! It's harmless and fun! It's done with little cats paws! If you hover over the boop button on someone's blog it'll start spinning and you can do a super boop! I am booping everyone I can! I love you all and Tumblr has found the perfect batshit way to let me show you.

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clitfisto

peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it

dont do this

I really hope its not too bad bc i actually love both components.

it forms a dry skin at the top made of the sour pellets. not a great start.

tastes really good actually. i also feel like i am about to explode.

do not do this.

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jenjensd

Unanimous consensus: Do not do this

Other people: Hold on I’m about to do this

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rosespirit

I keep seeing this post going around so, for folks who want to know why not, here's a chemist's hypothesis:

-Human saliva has an average pH of ~6.7 (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3800408/), which is pretty neutral.

-Monster energy has a pH of ~2.7 (https://patientconnect365.com/DentalHealthTopics/Article/Energy_Drinks_and_Your_Teeth_Should_You_Worry), which is quite acidic but not dangerous, except to your tooth enamel if consumed in large quantities.

-Rainbow sour belts contain malic acid (a common food additive as a potent acidifier and sour-flavor agent), citric acid (another common sour flavoring in pretty much everything) as well as ascorbic acid (aka vitamin C, used here mainly as a preservative). (https://candypros.com/products/sour-belts-bulk-rainbow)

-All of these acids when added to water would normally release their protons (H+ ions), thereby making the water solution more acidic. However, a chemical constant of these acids called the acid dissociation constant (pKa for short) indicates the pH of a solution at which acids are most likely to keep or release their protons. The pKa's* of these acids are higher (3.4, 3.1, and 4.2 for malic, citric, and ascorbic acids respectively) than the pH of the solution (2.7), which essentially means that the acids can't release their protons and all that acidic potential is trapped in the solid formulation of the candy.

-There's also some evidence that sugar decreases the solubility of acids in water solutions (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3411471/ only sorbic acid is discussed here but it's relatively structurally similar to the acids in discussion). The undoubtedly high sugar content of both the Monster and the candy therefore may contribute to the accounts of the sour crystals bubbling/floating on top of the solution instead of dissolving.

-Malic acid in particular is notorious for causing mouth irritation when eaten in high quantities.

-Thus, I can imagine that upon consuming the battery acid spaghetti, not only is the mix itself quite potently sweet/sour, but also the solid malic acid coming into direct contact with your mouth quickly becomes painful, and as the solution mixes with your (pH neutral) saliva the trapped acidity of the malic/citric/ascorbic acids is dumped into your mouth and esophagus, creating a sensation that I can only imagine is similar to consuming actual battery acid (pH = 0.8).

(*Each of these acids actually has multiple pKa's corresponding to number of protons they're able to donate, but really only the lowest pKa is useful here since once that one dissociates then all of the other ones are already dissociated too.)

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parageist

citrus fruits: *develops sour taste to deter animals from eating*

humans: ok but what if i made that into literal battery acid and drank it

String identified: g t a g t t g t tg a ttg t t ca g t cat tg cag att ac agtt at c t t t a t t t a c acta t ct. t a at t t a t t. t a gat tat. tat a g acta. a a at t . t t. g t t gg a , at t t, ' a ct' t:

-a aa a a aag ~. (tt://.c…g/c/atc/C/), c tt ta.

-t g a a ~. (tt://attcct.c/taatTc/Atc/g__a__Tt___), c t acc t t ag, ct t tt a c ag att.

-a t cta ac ac (a c at a a tt ac a -a agt), ctc ac (at c ag tt c tg) a a acc ac (aa ta C, a a a at). (tt://ca.c/ct/-t--a)

-A t ac a t at a a t t (+ ), t ag t at t acc. , a cca ctat t ac ca t ac cat ctat (a t) cat t a t at c ac a t t a t t. T a'* t ac a g (., ., a . ac, ctc, a acc ac ct) ta t t t (.), c ta a tat t ac ca't a t t a a tat acc tta ta t at t ca.

-T' a c tat ga ca t t ac at t (tt://.c…g// c ac c t t' at tcta a t t ac c). T t g ga ctt t t t a t ca t a ctt t t acct t cta g/atg t t t ta g.

-ac ac atca t cag t tat at g att.

-T, ca ag tat cg t att ac agtt, t t t t tt t/, t a t ac ac cg t ct ctact t t c c a, a a t t t ( ta) aa t ta act t ac/ctc/acc ac t t a ag, catg a at tat ca ag a t cg acta att ac ( = .).

(*ac t ac acta a t a' cg t t t' a t at, t a t t a c c tat cat t a t t a aa cat t.) ct t: * tat t t aa atg*

a: t at a tat t ta att ac a a t

Closest match: Wolffia australiana isolate 7733 chromosome 4 Common name: Water meal

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neil-gaiman

Hello, Mr. Gaiman. Fat chance you'll see this, but do you have any advice for aspiring trad authors? I wanna be peak successful. Really leave my mark on the writing community & the world. How would I go about doing that? Could you break it down in, say, ten steps? Or perhaps just share some words of wisdom?

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1) write your own books. Don't try to be like anyone else.

2) Write your own books. When you finish writing a book, start the next one.

3) Write your own books. Don't worry about the rest of the writing community only about yourself and what you make

4) write your own books. It's not a competition.

5) write your own books. Say the things only you can say.

6) Write your own books. Don't get bogged down in the commercial success or failure of a book in the long term. All that matters is the artistic success or failure of what you made.

7) Write your own books all the way to the end. So many frustrated and failed writers don't get through step one, where they finish writing books people might want to read.

8) write your own books.

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dropoutdottv

Update on Dropout production (courtesy of @samreich)

Dropout is back in production. 🫡 Details below. 👇 As I mentioned, Dropout is not associated with the AMPTP, who negotiates on behalf of the majority of studios and streamers. But truthfully, there’s no such thing as a “struck company.” There are instead “struck contracts” and “not-struck contracts.” We assumed Dropout’s contract - the New Media Agreement for Non-Dramatic Programming - was struck because it wasn’t specifically on a list of non-struck contracts. After speaking at length with our lawyers and with SAG, turns out that is not the case. So, Dropout can return to business as usual. And because our shows were never struck, talent can go back to promoting their Dropout appearances. 🎉 SAG’s decisions are in part strategic. Small streamers like us continuing to work while the major streamers cannot gives us a competitive advantage and puts more pressure on them to make a deal. 😎 But make no mistake about it: We continue to support our striking performers and their cause. - Between Dropout and me personally, we have donated $20,000 to the Entertainment Community Fund. - If anyone doesn’t feel comfortable working with us or promoting their work during the strike for whatever reason, we respect that position. - While we already pay above minimums, we will continue to go above and beyond to reward and protect our performers *and* crew members, and plan to put even more of our money where our mouth is before the end of the year. Dropout fans, thank you for your support and solidarity during this uncertain time. Keep supporting the Entertainment Community Fund - - as well as the pet projects of your favorite creators. And with that, it’s back to work. ⛏️
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