“I’m A Coward”
My heart feels heavy like steel
My body won’t stop shaking
Are you asking me am I afraid?
I would be lying if I say I was fine
I would be lying if I say I was okay
I would be lying if I say I was good
Smiles are easy to hide behind
It hides the pain of heartbreak
It hides the pain of loneliness
It hides the pain of truths
My best memories trying to turn into my worse regrets
I tried to runaway from the shadows that haunt me
Could I have been a better friend if I were to try harder?
Could I have done differently if I were to take a big leap?
Could I have done something if I had know there was a time limit?
Those questions will never be answer
No matter how much I beg for them
So how can I move on when I feel so much sadness and regrets in my head?
I am a coward for living in my memories for so long that I left someone behind
Someone who wanted me to write their story
Someone who missed me the most
Someone who started all of these memories to begin with
It’s my work, my stories, my source of inspiration
I am so sorry for leaving you behind like I was
I won’t let those regrets control me anymore
And I know in my heart they wouldn’t want me to feel this way
“Stay happy and healthy.”
For the longest time, I didn’t know if theses words were real or not
I never got the ending I truly wanted
But I think it’s okay now not to have that
Maybe you have to make your own ending to get a new start
Maybe I can fell happier if I start writing in that notebook again
Maybe I can finally let go of the bad things if I were to take that step forward
I’ll stop running away from what is scaring me and holding me back
Stories can be rewritten, a person’’s heart can start over anew
I am going to stop blaming myself for my kindness
I will still love those people who I have met, but I have move on now and let go
Make space for new memories I hope to make again
I think I will finally feel better, now that this poem is finish...