Feeling Good, Living Better

I was sitting on a bench by the lake last night around 1am, blissfully staring at the water and feeling the wind and looking around at the groups of students hanging out and laughing and walking up and down the walkway. 

And all of a sudden, you appeared and passed by me on your skateboard. It didn’t really even register until you were right in front of me and I saw your Shake Junt hat and your backpack as you began to fade off into the distance. 

You were barely a blip on my radar. Maybe four or three or even two months ago, I would have hyper-analyzed that fleeting closeness, wondering if you got a pang in your heart seeing me from afar and not being sure it was me in the darkness until we were feet away from each other. Wondering if your pulse shot up at all like mine would sometimes. Wondering if you thought about me after that on the way back to your apartment. Wondering if it affected you for hours and brought back odd clips of memories that don’t feel real anymore, trying to replay them but having a nagging feeling that you weren’t sure they even happened. 

This time I kind of just let you drift away. Just a blip. A funny, fuzzy feeling, a teeny wave. It traveled through me and dissipated. Just a “Huh. Alright. Anyway.” Maybe a sigh, too. 

That’s a big win for me. I think I finally cut off most of the strings that latched my heart onto yours and wouldn’t let go. Nearly a year ago, It seemed too easy for you to cut your own ties, to let me slip away. Blip. Oh well. I think I finally found that ease, too. 

It feels better now. I don’t need to understand anymore how things fell apart with you. All that matters is that it did and that’s just how some things go. 

Some people just pass by each other, only for a moment or two or three. Some paths are meant to cross but perhaps not meant to align.