Gregory Orr, from Orpheus & Eurydice: A Lyric Sequence (via melancholiaxo)

30 Days of Kink

Day 3:  How did you discover you were kinky?

I don’t even know where to start in answering this one.  This will probably be a rambling streamofconsciousness, as most of what I write here tends to be.

I think a lot of my recognition of kinky behavior happened in hindsight, after my submission was awakened in the Fall of 2014, by O. 

Like remembering that scorching summer when I was 11 and a neighbor girl and I would put on sundresses near dusk every day, sneak into a new house being built down the street…

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@smittentomkitten wow....just....wow

Tom Hiddleston as Robert Laing, High Rise.  (X)

(Not my photo, just an edit)

I was wondering what might finally kickstart my Hiddles shit again.

Well played, Bangor!Tom. 

Well. Played.

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Holy fuckity fuck. DEADED😵

Wishing all who celebrate today a very Happy Thanksgiving and those who aren’t a lovely Thursday! I’m thankful that I have a place to play with fun, intelligent, talented like-minded people. Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences and thoughts and selves! And thanks to and for that tall British guy for bringing us together!

@larouau12 @andlifeisgrand @catedevalois @jossisgod @missdibley @toothsleuth2013 @xdelayedgratification @the-haven-of-fiction @lettalady @zorped @insanely-smart @clojury @purplewoodcat @booksandcatslover @smittentomkitten @annedeadly @angreav @angelica-aswald @angryschnauzer @bellezebub @ladiesloveloki @underbree @peskipixi @ancientfinnishgoddess @littletime67 @littlewomanly1 @mtllovelygirl @beaglebitch @beachgrl76 @laterovaries @calgal48 @crescent-moon-rising @andryehll @wolfpawn @winterheart17 @museofcherry @allthatandasideoftom @a-beautifully-hiddled-disaster @imagine-loki @thfrustration @quoting-shakespeare-to-ducks @ohhiddles-myhiddles @but-glorieux @greengirl888 @gretchenk0720 @sarabeth72 @rainbow-cobra @rastaredgja @rebeckalindahl @loricameback @amatasera @alicakeschicago @aregrettablehullabaloo @stillediting @writerlivinginadarkworld @writernotwaiting @parallelplushiverse @particularscarf @pedeka @virtualgirlfriendsan @vigwig @vampirewithbedsidemanners @vanillabeanlattes @thingsididntknowwereerotic @velvet-muffin @hashtag-genius @happyhiddling @haveahiddles @sincerejester @sinfully-lustful-darling @sidonivilleduval @ancientfinnishgoddess @underbree @servent-alearika @serenitymoonlight @saeqimo @soniabbc @bradypnoea @britishmenaredestroyingmylife @buffyshesavedtheworldalot @catwinchester @celtickaye @coup-contrecoup @consulting-smaug @dragonslikesmaug @curator-at-large @iamtopdrawer @lego-loki @captain-krazy @notsomolly @no-life14 @skinnylittlered @damageditem @eve1978 @neither-blue-nor-green @underbree @ophelia-tagloff @loki-in-winterfell @lokiwholockfactory @littlejenner @friendlyneighbourhoodpizzaman @lenaoffassy @coalea @wendy7777 @tegwin @wellirving @welcometocraptasia @wolfsmom1 @whittyonernc @icybluepenguin @thorwoman20 @triplefuckingnope @maneth985 @magnus-hiddleston @mrshiddelston @mmehiddleston @hiddleston-daily @tomhiddleston-gifs @missviolethunter @misledghost @munchkin80 @kathrynbjordahl @kirby1derby1doo @my-achilles–heel @mypreciousmind1 @kissimmmeme @just-call-me-mrs-captain @jarrigoni @jackburtonsays @janinam @jennphoenix @heathermc13 @gallifreyanecclair @geminiloveca @gerli49 @graymindlove @fassyanon @fanfickittycat @feelmyroarrrr @foodffs @for-whom-trenzalore-calls @freudensteins-monster @fresh-hell-mel @detektivmartinsson @disaster-babe @dorito82 @sandibebop @sexyboysandnerdythings @sebastiansin-221b @so-easy-to-love-me @sunny-is-sherlokid @srarebit @stairway-to-assgard @zhora-salome @xxsniperettexx @balance0fprobability @burdenedwithagloriouslove

If I missed anyone, I apologize unreservedly!

Thank you @antyc67

Perfect timing.

This has been a pretty shitty week so far, but when I got home from work, this was waiting in the mailbox for me! 

It’s me! My poems! In print! 

I need to send a copy to my mother (snerk!).

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Congrats @writernotwaiting....on the book of poems....not the shitty week!

Updating tag list - please read

If you see your old url, please message me your new one or just reblog telling me what changed. Also, if you want in or out or if I’m taggin the wrong sideblog, please tell.

@tomsdangerousvagina @melonasesino @mojobaby75 @ohhiddles-myhiddles @hiddles-reactions @prettyblackbitchchronicles @quoting-shakespeare-to-ducks @laterovaries @tomsguttergang @insatiablebookslut @maldivaldandhiddled @britishmenaredestroyingmylife @nightmareofcat @romancejunkette @hiddleston-is-my-cup-of-tea @triplefuckingnope @shakespearelove @hiddlesherethereeverywhere @hiddenhiddlesgirl86 @smittentomkitten @xdelayedgratification @so-easy-to-love-me @clojury @ladiesloveloki @bookbelle494 @hiddlesmaug @nwadadnama @damageditem @mytomhiddlestonpage @allthatandasideoftom @elfpunk @kissimmmeme @coy00koi @annedeadly // @beachgrl76 @allonsyelize @suchthesmittenkitten @leilei55 @lisalisa007 @underbree @nerdysingingcatlady @lokie-dokie @mypreciousmind1 @villain-lover @jackburtonsays @whittyonernc @tarrysmith @angreav @uppereastsiderkay @hightimeswithhiddlestoo @hush-hush-hiddlestoners @yellowwhaleeye @lokiwholockfactory @roxanestarkshappyplace @crimesolversherlock @angelus80 @mylovetriangle @lorrmorr @magnus-hiddleston

Still have the right one for me!

Not now, not sure when

Hey,

So I can say a million things about the last three weeks as much as I can say absolutely nothing.  I have gone through every feeling in existence, I’m fairly certain, and they still confuse me as much as they ever did and as soon as I get close to understanding one, I second-guess it and the weight of it is too much to keep carrying, so I try (and fail) to understand the next.  And it is exhausting, in every way.

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I can be strange....but never a stranger. I am here if you need an ear @becomingkitten. Take time for yourself. I will be here for you if you need me and when you come back. ❤️

nathanbeltmusic Had a great time entertaining for the “I Saw The Light” movie premiere after party, playing behind actor Tom Hiddleston.

——————

Warning - in the video, there may or may not be yodeling.  View at your own risk, preferably after a stiff belt of bourbon (you’re gonna need it).

OMG!!!!  The yodel is perfect!!!!

[x]

Reblog for easy access

Hey, I decided to add my…”breakup” writings, I guess?  The stuff I’ve said since O left, to my Tasks & Experiences: A History of Us page.

Basically, just for the purposes of keeping things organized, easy to find, part of the timeline.  I’ve numbered them, if anyone cares to catch up in order.

It’s been a few days and I’ve been taking care of a lot of life things, enjoying Provincetown and being with my dog, meeting people (who also  love my dog), and I haven’t said as much here yet as I thought I would, further thoughts about how everything went down with O and me.

It’s not that I don’t have a lot to say - boy, do I - it’s more that I have so many thoughts to organize and understand before I try to make sense of them here.

I’ve been thinking about working an essay about submission (vs. who I am otherwise) into how this ending happened and the way I’ve been feeling about handing it and addressing it (fluuuuuuctuating) ever since.  It’s brought a lot of interesting things, introspection, and questions to the surface, and I’d like to explore them.  Who the hell knows when I’ll start, but I think it will be very soon.

Oh, also, I’ll add a tag to all of the Aftermath writings too.   I was thinking “K&O K.O.” because if nothing else, I am a goddamn dork.

Thanks everyone, xoxo. :)

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Love you @becomingkitten ❤️

A year ago I found a little furry thing under a car, as I was walking out of my office.

According to the vet she wasn’t even one day old, and no one knows exactly how she got there, nor what could have happened to her mom. One year later… and here I am, telling everyone that Abby is the loveliest cat in the world.

Abby hates closed doors. She loves drinking from the tap, playing with little paper balls and sleeping in front of the heater. The only human food she likes is ham. And I know I will be eternally grateful to [insert deity of choice here], for putting this little ball of fur in my life.

Happy Birthday, Abby!

They grow up too darn fast.  Although I am more than a bit partial to solid gray cats (or any cats with gray on them), Abby is definitely a lovely lady.  You did good @missviolethunter.  Compassion is a gift for both the recipient and the giver. 

@angreav @angelus80 @amatasera @beecreature @bellezebub @booksandcatslover @brianna-sama @captain-krazy @gretchenk0720 @haveahiddles @iamtopdrawer @icybluepenguin @janinam @jrgggggg999999 @larouau12 @lenaoffassy @loki-in-winterfell @matchgirl42 @mypreciousmind1 @nerdysingingcatlady @nwadadnama @nightmareofcat @pedeka @quoting-shakespeare-to-ducks @tea4sykes @tarrysmith @wine-o-clock-somewhere @zhora-salome @zorped @daisymoder72 @unseendancingqueen @vampirewithbedsidemanners @sashathephoenix @munchkin80 @coalea @kissimmmeme @andlifeisgrand @october-green @curator-at-large @justahopeless-dreamer @emoryhemsworth @writernotwaiting @legion567 @the-haven-of-fiction @iamthebadwolf85 @lokiwholockfactory @tomforachange @maneth985 @purplecrabb

Abby reminds me of my Murphy. I had him for 17 years. I lost him in 2005. I still miss him so much!

to my unanswered anons

you’re all very kind, but also essentially all asking me the same thing, and please don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it, so very much.

but the answer is that i don’t know yet. i don’t really know anything except he is taking care and he is recovering.

it is difficult not to know how he is doing, because i love and care about him, very much. 

i’m getting the rest of my new life together while i do not know anything, but i’m scared to death of a lot.  

he always, so flawlessly, takes my fears away.  every fear i have about anything. 

he knows me.

focusing on things i must do, and on myself, accomplishing things helps sometimes.  these things are a distraction, and these are good things.

but the truth is, the rest of the time, it’s hard.   

it’s all silence right now, it just hurts.

xo - kitten

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Again becomingkitten I hope you get what you need. You are such a beautiful soul and deserve all the happiness in the world. *mu-wah*

kissimmmeme

aww, thank you doll, you’re always so sweet. :)  i hope you’re doing and feeling well.

becomingkitten I am getting there. I have good days and bad days. Thank you for your concern.

to my unanswered anons

you’re all very kind, but also essentially all asking me the same thing, and please don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it, so very much.

but the answer is that i don’t know yet. i don’t really know anything except he is taking care and he is recovering.

it is difficult not to know how he is doing, because i love and care about him, very much. 

i’m getting the rest of my new life together while i do not know anything, but i’m scared to death of a lot.  

he always, so flawlessly, takes my fears away.  every fear i have about anything. 

he knows me.

focusing on things i must do, and on myself, accomplishing things helps sometimes.  these things are a distraction, and these are good things.

but the truth is, the rest of the time, it’s hard.   

it’s all silence right now, it just hurts.

xo - kitten

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Again becomingkitten I hope you get what you need. You are such a beautiful soul and deserve all the happiness in the world. *mu-wah*

I became kitten.  and I want to say something.

Hello, lovelies.  :)

I boarded a Swiss Air flight three days ago on what I can confidently say was the absolute worst day of my life in relatively recent memory.  Not because I was coming back home, but because of what I was leaving behind. The worst of what I was leaving behind (toxicity with Estranged) had turned itself up to ‘11′ that day, after a week of hell leading up to it.  Honestly, the last several weeks leading up to thst day transformed me into the furthest thing away i could possibly be of my true self.

Because of what this blog is, because of what and who it is about and inspired by (O and me), I feel like I need to explain how this very difficult time affected us.  

And I will do so with the kind of honesty you’ve come to expect from me. 

It’s like O always tells me, “the blog is a place for you to express yourself and your feelings”, and for the first time in a long time, I am going to do that now…

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Oh becomingkitten .... I hope you get EVERYTHING you want! You deserve it so much. 💋

new followers yaaaay

Hey there, and thank you for following…whatever the hell this is right now.

This is usually a fun, frolicking place about my sexual, personal life, an evolving relationship with a D/s history, a particular porn depository (i like specific shit, and certain performers), often a very raw, real exposure of things I feel and experience, and sometimes I even share things like obscure comedy and music i feel like you really need in your life, and stuff about my dog. And travel things. And sporadic things I’m not scared to share about anxiety and introversion.  (Which still confuses a shit ton of people because a lot of times online, I don’t come across that way.  But, it’s who I am.)

Oh, and there’s usually my sex toy reviews i write with a certain style (i.e, they’re porn).  I’m pretty let down with myself about the drop-off in those.

But I hope you stay because I hope things are going to get better soon and turn back around.  Right now, though, I’m just in a pretty rough place.  For those who know not just me, but me and him, the same goes for us.  And the same goes for him.

It’s just hard, every day right now, and I’ve never felt so put up against it all and challenged by so much going on in my life.  All of it.

So for a while, things won’t really feel tethered to something bigger here.  I’ll say stuff sometimes, I’ll reblog a thing here and there, but mostly, I’ll just do what I can while I try to focus on a bunch of important things outside of this.

But I miss this place, and being who I can be here.  I just love it a lot more when I can I be the best of me with you.

I wish you guys the best, all the time.

xoxo,

Kitten

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Awwwwwww becomingkitten....love you to the moon and back.  I hope for nothing but the best for you in all aspects of your life!

*mu-wah*