Avatar

hey mr. sandman bring me some sand

@machinekeys / machinekeys.tumblr.com

Hey, I'm machinekeys and I feel really old. 26 / f / Louisiana Sometimes I write things.
Avatar

Like that VA was so good I had to dig my tumblr password out of the garbage just to talk about

Avatar
reblogged

When sinister forces watch your every move, you can feel alone. But not all watching eyes are unfriendly and an UPRISING can be just a hopeful memory away.

Featuring “There Was a Tearing,” written by Caroline Devlin and performed by Dell Robertson-Glenn. Music by Eric Matyas, Blue Dot Sessions, and Patrick Lieberkind.

Monsters Out of the Closet is a podcast that features horror and horror-adjacent fiction and art created by LGBTQ+ artists.

Subscribe at Apple iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or wherever you get podcasts. You can also follow us on Twitter and Tumblr, and you can support us (and our artists) through Patreon!

Avatar
machinekeys

Eyy check out this thing I wrote. I really can't get over how great the voice actor is.

Avatar
reblogged
Avatar
owlmylove

the year is 2027. the met gala theme is dashcon. i arrive in a navy parachute-nylon gown with a shimmering, mile long train containing a diving board, depth markers and hundreds of plastic balls. the vogue style editor dressed as Dr. Whostuck pulls me aside and begs to know the designer. i smile enigmatically and simply say, “it’s a ball gown.” all of the reporters are wearing mishapocalypse masks

Avatar
antiriko

op do u take constructive criticism ?

i am not accepting comments at this time

I would wear a mile long dress of the what color is the sky post

I am accepting one (1) comment at this time

Avatar

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

Avatar
zsnes

its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post

pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs

Avatar

protestants: god is not an absent father! talk to god like a friend! god is always with you! bring your problems to god, no matter how small! it’s not at all weird to call god “daddy!”

catholics: god is far too important to give a fuck about your lost keys or your algebra exam. please address your petty concerns to one of god’s ten thousand holy secretaries. if it’s really important, consider asking his mom.

Avatar

Jfc that kitty parade music justmakes it hilarious

I can’t believe this is an actual event that has taken place.

Avatar
kittykat8311

with the music that might actually be the most surreal thing i’ve ever watched

Avatar
thelichboi

Sometimes the world brings you a brand of humor you love and weren’t ready for at all. Especially not at 6am right before bed.

Oh man the can pops at the exact right moment in the song.

Avatar
urbisie

“Babe, dinner’s ready”

Avatar
tyleroakley

the climax really delivered

Source: youtube.com
Avatar
Avatar
rabdoidal

for the love of fucking god let me reblog ads tumblr

is that a fucking game boy cartridge case?

Avatar
pancakeke

this is a legit lifehack because keeping a condom in your wallet is bad news. the friction from it being in your pocket or jostled around wears down the latex and can cause it to tear. if you keep one on you in a gameboy cart case that won’t be an issue because no one will have sex with you

Avatar
Avatar
arceusbeta

by far the best genre of fiction ever invented is short comics about women meeting ghosts/monsters/goddesses/whatever that are ALSO women and them inevitably ending up in love w each other

me, seeing a comic on tumblr starting up w a woman talking about the local spirit of the woods and how she wishes to escape her dull life: ohohoho! i believe she may end up escaping through means she does not anticipate!!

Avatar
reblogged

AN ILLUSTRATED DOUBLE-SIDED BIFOLIUM FROM THE NAHJ AL-FARADIS: THE TWO HELLS RESERVED FOR MISERS AND FLATTERERS COMMISSIONED BY SULTAN ABU SA’ID GURKAN, TIMURID HERAT, CIRCA 1465

Uyghur manuscript, opaque pigments and gold on paper.

Christie’s

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.