we made it

team “i know you’re joking but my anxiety doesn’t”

too many people

shitpostgenerator is going to kill us all

my sister has apparently had to stop playing Skyrim because she stole every book in the game to stock her house so now her house is full of books to the point where it almost breaks the game and every time she tries to read one guards teleport into her home and arrest her

Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451 (1953)

@thebuttmobile

My boss, who is a grown woman with children my age, just whispered, “Oh, this is going to be so fucking efficient,” before spraying Febreze directly into the ceiling fan and proceeding to cough her guts out when it blew back in her face.

me flirting: I don’t want you to die

I have this really bad habit of sending two unrelated texts back to back but bridging them with an “also”

So it’ll be like “hey have you seen this funny tweet” quickly followed by “also the news said polio is back”

hey just so u know I’m here for the girls who have slept with people who they didn’t like and girls who look back on old hook ups and feel gross. girls who have slept with people because they needed the sexual validation but had bad experiences or wished that thy hadn’t gone near those people. girls who found out how bad the people were after the fact. the character of your hookups doesn’t reflect your character. you’re all wonderful and I’m here for u

Friendly reminder to check you’re not holding tension in your body. Let your shoulders drop, unclench your hands and jaw. Take a deep breath. Much better.

this is such a genuine reminder

The Ruggie is a pressure-sensitive alarm clock that won’t shut off until you’re standing on it. Source

Hacked

i wish i could be the person i want to be but im too tired

“hey, what are the top five movies that should have been about women falling in love with women that instead have het romances that make no sense?” thanks, me, i’m glad you asked