perfect couple: one person has cold hands, the other has warm hands. together, they maintain the ideal temperature for hand holding

relationship goals: thermodynamic equilibrium

[walks up to a couple] so which of you is the source and which is the sink?

remember when we all thought swine flu will end the world?

Uno, dos, stress

People don’t hate math. They hate being confused, intimidated, and embarrassed by math. Their problem is with how it’s taught.

the two italian women who pretended to want a selfie with italian minister of interior (and leader of racist, xenophobic and homophobic right wing party nothern league) at a convention and then proceeded to kiss each other are braver than any us marine. look at his face. look at the shock and disappointment.

it’s just me and my four hundred unread books against the world i guess

waterloo is stuck in my head again and honestly I couldn’t escape if I wanted to

concept

me, drinking tea: pls leaf water….sage my body of the demons of my past…steam my colon…let me know peace

me, drinking coffee: I beg of u bean juice….cleanse me of the curse of sleep….make my heart beat like a tribal drum in ceremony….let me conquer this building

me: is fine being single, understands i am still capable of love, is in no rush, doesn’t like relationships that much

stupid brain:

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

reblog for next thursday to be the best day of your life

not risking it

me, applying lip balm 30 times a day: you never know when someone is just gonna kiss you

actually there is one more

This rhymes

Next time my teacher makes us read a poem this will be it

Roman emperor in a lower temperature