I think it's so funny how we bred JOBS into dogs. I have two shih tzus and they were bred to be lap dogs. All they care about is looking cute and cuddling with people. Meanwhile my grandma has a border collie and that dog needs to feel so useful all the time, he acts like he will pass away if he doesn't have a job to do constantly

The thoughts of my shih tzus: Man I love the couch. Flip flops are so yummy. I wish it was nap time again

The thoughts of my grandma's border collie: I have been silently observing the pigeons up in the tree for 3 hours in order to gain every tactical advantage. I'm trying to engineer the optimal jump into the backyard pool. I wish I could play chess

Oh my god ❤️

Absolutely love this

Wow.

Please watch this. 

i was a little apprehensive to watch this because it’s four minutes long and i have a short attention span, but within the first 30 seconds i was hooked.

watch this. please, you won’t regret it.

That last line

That fucking last line hit me.

Stop whatever else you’re doing and watch this. This is an amazing story of the best of humanity amidst the worst mankind is capable of. It’s proof of that one act of kindness can last a lifetime.

Holy shit.

i buried a sword my f*ther made in my back yard YEARS ago and i live on a large plot of land and i can’t for the fucking life of me remember where, is anyone out here psychic enough to point me in the right direction, i’m getting exhausted and can only dig so many fucking holes in a day. yes i’m being serious, i want the fucking sword back

can’t use a metal detector bc junk land + lockdowns so i’m just going to dig holes all weekend until my momther starts screaming

only 46 more plots to dig

i was rly unclear so, yellow is places where there’s structures or whatever so it’s not possible for it to be there. red x is where i’ve already been :(

not pictured; mother yelling at me thru the window to fill in and re-seed the holes i’m making

i was going to take a break bc it’s hot and i’ve been playing manual-labour-battleship for going on 3 hours now, but someone just told me “there’s better lies to make up for notes xoxo” so now i ha—i Have to find this sword to deliver it personally up their ass

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LADS WE’RE IN 34 COULD THIS BE IT AAAAAAAAAAAAA

MY FAMILY SWORD RETURNS TO ME

entranced recently not by “i can fix him” or “i can make him worse” but the “something deeply wrong with him and i want to be around as like a spectator when the car crash inevitably happens” dynamic

shoutout to all the gays languishing on my dash… don’t worry baby, you’ll get a boyfriend or a chaise lounge someday. i’m getting the chaise lounge! gonna languish SO hard

ＢＬＯＯＤＢＡＴＨ

#i appreciate how britney is the person who came the closest

my entire dash the last four days and we’re RIGHT

when you’re a gay lion and you accidentally tried to introduce your lesbian lioness friend to one of her own exes at a gay bar and she goes into the bathroom and bitches you out for not being able to tell her endlessly rotating cast of girlfriends apart which isn’t really fair because first of all they all keep dyeing their hair different colors and second of all she keeps getting back together with different ones at different times and meanwhile you’ve been “single” for like 8 months but are spending a lot of time with one specific guy who works at your old co-op and were going to excitedly tell her about it tonight but now you’ve ruined the whole subject of dating by trying to introduce her to her own ex at a gay bar (which is a watering hole. because you’re lions.) 

happy pride

This is like the exact opposite of that knife cat picture

And somehow the cats face had the same energy

You, you support trans men.

Testify!

Wait staff makes $2.13/hr and then have to humble themselves for your gratuity to get anything else.

You wanted free market, now you’re getting free market.

Hate it when you're wearing "military-esque" clothing like camo pants or combat boots and some old vet asks you if you're from a military family like fuck off papa war crimes I'm appropriating your culture here.

How are you appropriating a vet’s culture??? Aren’t they just like, animal doctors? What do vets have to do with the army?????

I love you