Alt Weddings We Love: Jess & Zach’s Excellent Adventure

AB: How did you two meet? Jess: We met on an online dating site (so original!) The site was How About We which is a smaller site that was getting some decent buzz at the time. It's whole thing was to be very date centered so you post dates and people respond to do that date with you. But I don't think Zack even reached out to me about any specific date. I remember not being too impressed with his profile because his picture choice was weird; they didn't make it easy to get a sense of what he looked like. But his height was on his profile and I figured a tall Jewish guy deserves a chance. 

We exchanged some messages, but he told me he was moving so we should get together when he was settled in his new space. I sort of then forgot about him and he seemed to forget me as well, but a few weeks later, he messaged me again. We made plans to do the most of boring of dates: meet for a drink. We met for a drink and had a great, short date talking about every inappropriate first topic there is. I guess the rest is history.

Show me your ring! What's the story behind it?

I absolutely love my ring.  

I never thought of myself as a girl who was super crazy to have a sparkly engagement ring and I tend to be more practically minded, so when we first discussed getting engaged/married, I made it clear that I didn't need a ring. I told him I definitely didn't approve of super expensive rings, wasn't even all that into diamonds, and as a feminist, I felt that we could be mature adults making a mutual decision that didn't require jewelry. But Zack wanted to have some of the traditional element, so after some prodding by a friend of mine, I picked out a bunch of ring designs I like to give an idea of my style. 

I love vintage rings and really wanted one. This one is vintage inspired, but not a direct reproduction of anything. I loved the unique design and that it has sapphire in it, since I like having some color in it. Apparently, Zack and my good friend Lily picked out a vintage ring they thought I would love, but because I had accidentally given the impression that my ring size was larger than it is (I apparently knew nothing about how that worked), the ring they picked out could not be sized that large. Instead, Zach looked at some of the rings I liked and just decided to buy this one. Worked out for me, I absolutely love it.

What's the funniest moment you shared?

Funniest moment is impossible to say. We crack each other up a lot and making jokes at each other's expense is practically the basis of our relationship. He thinks its our wedding dance, because the concept of learning a dance was hilarious. I contend it was dead serious.

What has been your biggest struggle together? I would say planning the wedding in 6 months was pretty stressful and that caused the most fights with each other. We never had a real good fight till we had to argue over how many people was an appropriate amount at a wedding. In the end ,all the stress of it was a great lesson and I feel like we learned how to fight effectively with each other and how not to let these arguments dwell and weigh on us.

Let's talk engagement! How did he propose? Did you know?

He proposed in June on a weekend we had planned to go away to Mt. Airy Lodge, which is this resort in Poconos that used to have amazing cheesy commercials when we were growing up, but is now a modern casino & resort. We wanted to go there on a weekend when we were first dating, but it was booked up ,so Zack booked us a weekend there so we could finally live our dream of going to this place. 

My mom and my closest friends thought for sure he would be proposing there so it was definitely in my head, but I had this idea that I would know when he had bought a ring because I didn't think he could be slick enough to keep it from me. So I was definitely not convinced he would propose. He seems a little weird on the drive up, but it was also raining hard. When we pulled into the drive, he had the theme song from the commercials all set up and played it as we drove in, with its amazing lyrics "all you have to bring is your love of everything." As soon as the guy helping put away our suitcases was out of the room, he was grabbing my hand and down on one knee. It took me by surprise as it was so out of the blue and I was still checking out the room! He later said he realized the champagne he had ordered was already in the room and he didn't want me to see it before he proposed. My mind blanked when I saw the ring and realized what he was doing. I know he said really sweet things but I couldn't process them, as I was so emotional which I didn't realize I would be. 

How did the big day actually go? Was it stressful?

The big day was hyper stressful until the ceremony. It was pouring rain and bridges were closing; since most people are coming from the city and the wedding was in Jersey, I was worried. My mom ran 45 mins late for her makeup, and it ended up causing me to be an hour late to the venue for our first look. So, of course, I was very stressed and nervous about having enough time to do all our official photos before the wedding, which was my plan. 

I went pretty crazy bride and even snapped at people who told me to calm down. I felt better once I arrived and take photos, but I was still nervous about timing until we rehearsed. Once the ceremony started and I heard “Final Countdown” by Europe (which is what my groom walked down the aisle to), the evening went perfect. Our ceremony was something I designed--what I call “Jewish light” and performed by the Zach’s cousin. Then, our choreographed dance went off well and was really fun for me. After that, it was all a blur of a party, but I loved it. I know some small things didn't go perfectly, but at the end of the day, we were both so happy with how fun and full of love the whole party atmosphere felt to us. We loved the food and the service at the venue and just really has so much fun. The rain ended up not causing too many problems and we had a great turnout with no big problems.

You planned your wedding in about six months. What's one piece of advice you would give to a bride-to-be?

My advice to plan a wedding in 6 months is to do it in winter if possible. No one is overbooked then and you get great deals. Also, you have to know what matters and what doesn't and make sure the groom is involved. I couldn't have done it without Zack helping every step of the way. He didn't care about every detail, but he helped out with the crafty stuff; we did like our table escort cards done as concert tickets ,and for the size of our wedding, it would have been too much to do alone. 

He also stopped me from taking on projects I couldn't handle. It's easier to use a traditional venue on a short timeline, and the venue we had does a ton of weddings and made it easy for us. I also recommend a venue that does things all inclusively and where you don't need to do separate catering or anything. More photos:

3 Things You Shouldn’t Do For Your Wedding

1. Don’t overstress the need for a “perfect” day. If something is going to go wrong, it will. Of course, we all want to minimize problems, but remember, life is not some magical Pinterest wonderland. Sure, there might be cupcakes and flower crowns and mason jar cocktails calling your name, but the real point is spending time with your partner and loved ones.  2. Don’t be super serious. Yes, wedding should be taken seriously but leave some room for humor and relaxation. If you act serious during the entrée planning and wedding process, you won’t have time to enjoy the little things. I find the small moments are noteworthy and really make any event extra special. Whether it’s cheesing out for the photographer for a few portraits or making your vows lighthearted, there a multiple ways to play with your sense of humor and showcase your individuality. Go for that inside joke with your friends and sneak a glass of champagne with your husband or wife! 3. Don’t fall off the radar. Depending on your lifestyle, you might be planning a lot or very little. I’m aiming for somewhere in-between. Now is not the time to forsake routines that make you feel good AND make your life feel balanced. Meditate, go on your daily coffee run, keep a Tuesday night Google hang out appointment with a college friend, your weekly gym classes, etc. 

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3 Reasons Tulips Should Be in Your Wedding

1. Red tulips evoke passion and romance. 

2. Yellow tulips represent hope, which is perfect since your wedding day is the start of a joyful future!

3. Pink flowers express happiness and confidence.

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Alt Weddings We Love: Punk Edition

AB: How did you two meet?

Vianira Soto Ramos: We met at my job, Logan's roadhouse; I actually wasn't supposed to work, but for some reason I decided that I was bored and it would be a good idea to show up to work and ask to get put on the shift. A few hours in to the shift some of my regulars (due note: these regulars live in England, then come to Florida every six months,) I just noticed a HUGE blonde Mohawk, and I stopped for half a second and said "damn." I noticed that my co worker serving that golden Mohawk, so to I told him "hey, do me a favor and tell the guy with the Mohawk that I think his hair is sick?" And he replied "no, you can tell him yourself, come on." So, he grabs me by my shirt sleeve and drags me up to the table and goes "hey, Mohawk dude, this is Vira, and she has something to tell you." He looked at me and I just said, "I think your Mohawk's sick," and he said "thanks, I really like your stretchers." Then his family started talking to me about piercings and tattoos and how they are all into it for a few minutes, until I had to go back to my tables and take care of them. About 10 minutes later, I was back at the bar getting more drinks, and my co worker came to me and said "hey so they guy with the Mohawk and I were talking and he mentioned to me that he recently got his nipples pierced and that immediately made me have to tell him that you just got yours done too!" I automatically freaked out and asked him why would he tell him that, and he said, "because it's a similar interest, anyways, he wants your phone number!" At this point, I really thought the phone number thing was a joke since my self confidence at the time wasn't good at all, so I decided to go along with it.

Two hours later, it was closing time and I was rolling my silver wear when I get a text message from a +44 area code, saying it's the guy with the Mohawk, asking how my night was going. I'm not going to lie, I got this huge butterfly feeling when I got that text; we continued texting while I was finishing work and he asked if he could take me out for a drink. I told him that I had a few months left until I turned 21, but that if he wanted I could show him a regular night out with some friend in Florida. To keep the long story short, I picked him up and we got to our destination, which was a pool in a friend’s house. Really, we just hung out, cracked jokes, got to know each other. Later that night, he just held me, looked into my eyes, kissed me and it was incredible; I was absolutely in love with him, I never knew I could fall for someone so hard and so fast. Ever since that night, we spent the rest of his vacation together and we've been together ever since.

This picture was taken on the week we first met:

AB: Show me your ring! What's the story behind it?

VSR: This is my engagement ring:

There's not much of a huge story behind it. I mean, ever since the first week we spent together, Joe made it clear he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and I felt the same; he was so scared of choosing a ring I wouldn't like that he had me choose one with him. This gorgeous ring traveled from Ireland to England, and from England to the U.S. 

It has quite the traveling history so far, as I plan to pass it down my family line, and hopefully, the family will keep the tradition to pass down a symbol of true love.

AB: What's the funniest moment you shared?

Oh jeez, that's a really hard one, especially since we are both ridiculously goofy people with very outgoing personalities, so we often are funny and having moments like that. One of my favorite, funny moments was last October when we went to Bush Gardens in Tampa, Florida for my mum's birthday; we were going through a nocturnal exhibit, and as we were walking out of the area, my mum yelled "picture!" Joe immediately pulled down his jeans and mooned my mum for the photo, and all you could hear was my mum screaming and laughing at the same time to where she peed herself a little.

AB: What has been your biggest struggle together?

VSR: Distance. Hands down, that's the biggest struggle we have to deal with. We're a married couple that live in different counties, as Joe is in the UK and I'm over here in the US. We have our hard days where we cry ourselves to sleep, and I'll have anxiety attacks because I miss him. Our goal, eventually, is to be able to be together with no distance, it doesn't matter where, we just want to be together.

AB: Let's talk engagement! How did it happen? Was it a surprise?

VSR: Like I mentioned before, we were talking about getting engaged for a while at that point, so I did knew it was coming, but I had no idea when. He actually proposed to me at my favorite horror movie convention called Spooky Empire; we were dressed as these characters that I made up when I used to manage a full year round haunted house--their names are lord and lady Grimm. On opening day of the con, they do a zombie walk, although lord and lady Grimm aren't your usual zombies, as they are most certainly undead and they blend in well enough in the crowd.

Joe set up this huge group photo before the zombie walk with the people that organize the convention, and we were put in the middle of the crowd, and out of nowhere someone yelled, "the guy with the Mohawk should kneel!" And from one moment to another, Joe was on one knee and was asking me to marry him around a hundred zombies!

AB: Tell us about being an alt bride! Describe your wedding. Was it what you always wanted? How involved was your husband in the process?

Joe was involved as much as he could you know, being in another country and all; then he arrived the week before the wedding and it was crunch time--he would be up in the middle of the night working on the bouquets, thank you bags, balloons, and going over small details that needed to be done. Really, he was so dedicated in to what had to be done, everything was on a schedule with him. 

Our wedding wasn't some huge extravagant party, it was fairly small, meant only for family and close friends; Joe’s parents and granddad flew with him from England for the wedding, but sadly his bother and brother-in-law couldn't make it. It had an old Victorian/vintage aesthetic with a Sleepy Hollow twist thanks to the dried branches centerpieces. Our cake was phenomenal! Three tear pastel pink with black vintage detail and purple flowers around it. All my tattoos and piercings were showing and Joe had his Mohawk up as well. It was definitely everything I could dream of--it was a DIY wedding--we spent about $7,000 dollars and it was just overall spectacular and a night we will always remember.

AB: How did you handle wedding planning without going crazy?

Not going to lie, planning a wedding with no wedding planner, your fiancé being in another country, and working a full time job is about one of the most stressful things I've ever dealt with, especially when it was all done in two and half months. I cried myself to sleep, had multiple anxiety attacks a day, freaked out at my mum, fiancé and friends so many times. It was not something I ever imagined that would happen. 

But I was lucky enough to have my friends and family, but especially I had my dear friend Allison who took such a HUGE part of making our wedding happen. It was amazing, she took on just about the same amount of stress as me, probably even more, as she drove about two hours every weekend to my house just to help with everything, Words cannot describe how great fun I am for everything she's done.

Bridal Hair Inspo: Milkmaid Braids

If you’re getting married in a warm climate, maybe you’ll consider milkmaid braids for the big day. We love the whimsy style, but it also keeps the heat off of your neck! Darling and functional hair? We say go all the way. Have any of you done braids for your wedding? Share away! { 1, 2 } 

Nail It: Manicure Inspo

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3 Reasons to Use Tiger Lilies

1. They represents wealth. Receiving a tiger lily from a loved one means you will be lucrative in the future. 2. These colorful petals symbolizes confidence and positive pride.  3. Tiger lilies ward off evil, ghosts, bad spells, & negative energy. You only want positive vibes!

Goddess Bride // Dita Von Teese

If you really want to do it up, take a cue from Dita Von Teese for Christian Lacroix. The ethereal shoot reminds of us Italian Renaissance saints and Mother Marys with lots of refined symbolism. Perhaps you’re feeling Medici inspired or the saints and lace and Italian wanderlust just tugs at your being... Either way, Dita certainly looks otherworldly - a true goddess! { Image Source }

Dream Day: Weekend Wedding

Not the type of person who wants a big catering hall wedding? That’s okay--you don’t have to. There are many reasons not to opt for a huge wedding; perhaps you are trying to save money on guests, simply desire for intimacy, or want to combine your wedding & honeymoon. If you aren’t interested in the impersonal feel of a catering hall, but still want to do something special--a weekend wedding could be the perfect fit.  Why a weekend, instead of a restaurant? 

-Shrink your guest list to only those who would travel a far distance. -Don’t have any time limits or constraints, as you would in a catering hall or restaurant; not to mention, it’s a wedding slumber party!  -You can control all aspects of the food & drinks. -It’s more of a destination wedding, but without the hefty price. -It’s completely, 100% private.  -It adds more meaning if it’s a place you feel a special connection to, instead of just a cookie cutter dining hall.  -If it’s in a beautiful location, that means expenses on decorating! Beach wedding? Let the ocean do the talking. 

So, how do I do it?

It’s easy! Look up locations where you would be interested renting a house where you can accommodate some, or all, of your guests. Of course, you may need to do more logistical planning if you need to source a caterer, hotels, and transportation. While you do want to plan your day of love exactly as you wish, don’t leave your guests in the lurch! They are traveling specially for you. 

Most of all, let this be a day of absolute love!

[Image Source: housekaboodle.com]

Go Big or Go Home: Flower Crown Inspo

Kate Moss looks like a babe for sure. This larger than life flower crown, braids, choker, and lace dress is all iconic. Boho 1990s, anyone? { Image Source } 

3 Reasons to Wear a Colored Wedding Dress

1. You don’t wear white. If you shudder at the idea of wearing white for any occasion, why start now? It’s your day, which means you should be comfortable to the tenth power.

2. Tradition isn’t your thing. Hi, lovely reader! One of the reasons you’re here is because you want to make your own path. Do your own thing and do it happily..

3. You feel connected to a color, or just plain look amazing in it. The reason you’re having a wedding is based on feelings -- love, trust, passion. Feeling connected. Is there a color that is your power sign? Or, do you just feel like the babeliest of babes in it? Rock it. Love it. Look like the baddest bitch (or sultry goddess) on your wedding day.  { Image Source }

10 Pastel Hair Looks for the Big Day

Why not do it up in a big way? Whether it's a woodland nymph, enigmatic mermaid, gritty pastel goth, sweet witch style you're after -- express yourself! { Sources: 1,  2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 }      

Alt Weddings We Love: K & J's Seven Year Itch

AB: How did you two meet? KB: I cough this one out all the time because - although I shouldn't be embarrassed about it, there's always some sort of stigma that's attached. Here it goes. I met Jon on myspace. Remember myspace? Back when it was popular, I was a senior in undergrad school. I had this ancient purple imac. I was just browsing through myspace and I came across this picture. I thought it was quite hilarious because it reminded me of something in a Wes Anderson movie, all sorts of awkward posing with a MST3K robot he built. Maybe a month later, I came across another picture of this really hot guy! I clicked on it and realized I was here before- this was the same guy who had the funny picture. He so conveniently had a survey filled out about himself and I was like - wow, this guy sounds like we're on the same page. His bio sold me tho. It said something to the effect of someone asked him when he was little, what he wanted to be when he grew up and he said "an elephant" .

That was it. I had to message him. Plus- we both were in bands, so we had all that music stuff in common. We started talking online and he lived a couple towns away from my hometown, so when I went home for break we met at the mall. We sat in front of Ted's hotdogs in the food court exchanging our cds. We sat until my butt couldn't take it anymore- so we got up and walked around. We hung out for a couple months until he made "the move" after a drive in movie and we've been through thick & thin since.

Show me your ring! What's the story behind it? It's white gold with 7 diamonds in it. It's gorgeous. We've been dating - well now it's 8 years, but at the time he put money down on it, we've been dating for 7 years. I love that the diamonds are inside the band, that's my favorite part. He picked out the design on his own too. I think it's more special that way.

What's the funniest moment you shared?

There's been tons of funny moments. It's hard to pin point one. What's so great about Jon is that he's funny. That's the best quality to have in a partner.  We have the same sense of humor. If he starts laughing at something most the time I know what it is. We're on the same page. We can both be "weird" around each other. And when I say weird I mean like if I decided to spontaneously dance like an idiot around the house, he wouldn't think anything of it. - I asked Jon about this question and he agreed that there's just too many moments to pick from but then I brought up one that kept popping into my head and he was like yes! do that one! There is this one moment I think of, which will probably make us sound like the worst people in the world. We were at the antique mall and all of a sudden we heard this crash and then this old voice saying "oooohhhhhh" over and over again. We peaked around the aisle but all I could see was the 4 legs of a walker on it's side." People were around the lady trying to help her. So we continued down a different isle. We could still hear the "oh's" ...it was a horrible thing that she fell- but I couldn't control it any longer I started laughing- which then caused Jon to start laughing and we both were trying to suppress it but it just wasn't happening. Something about the sound of her voice - I know this is terrible and completely inappropriate. But even as I'm writing this, I feel like I want to laugh.

What has been your biggest struggle together?

Well there's 2 things. Financials is one of them. We don't have a lot of money. Jon has been a "temp" mailman for 5 years or so and then the post office made all the temps reapply for their job which came with a new title and $6 pay cut. I, on the other hand, have loads of student loans. In fact, I signed up for IBR, but we'll have to always file our taxes separately so it doesn't take into consideration how much he makes. It's pretty crappy and we can't get ahead. We're fortunate to have a house in a good area and close to family but the house needs a lot of work and definitely needs an addition if we want to have kids- which we do. My registry will definitely be home depot if it's not cash!  

The other struggle is my family. My parents are in constant turmoil. Constantly on the brink of divorce although neither of them have money to advance it. They are paranoid about each other, they blame each other for everything and they have so much regret -it's absolutely depressing. It takes its toll on me and Jon knows it- Jon is always there to scoop up my pieces. I feel bad about it. I'm always in a tug-a-war between the two.I wonder if they ever put themselves in my shoes- what if their parents were like that? They think it's not a big deal because I'm an adult which also means they can tell me EVERYTHING. And it's not ok. It's probably even worse because I'm old enough to understand it all. Not to mention they both think I favor the other. It's hard to plan a wedding around so much hate and mistrust. I don't even know if my dad would go- because my mom will be there. I've heard it all too. My dad's first reaction was "oh you don't want to get married" and my mom has recently said something to the effect about "you sure you want to get married? I mean dad was super nice and a different person when we first married and now look at him"- so it's hard and poor Jon has to deal with me dealing with my parents.

Let's talk engagement! How did he propose? Did you know? Jon and I have talked about marriage and kids and all that stuff before- so we both knew we wanted to "seal the deal". It's just we both were, and are, financially strapped for cash. So I didn't really know when to expect it. He made hints that something was in the works, but again I didn't know when. We both had the flu on Valentine's day and believe it or not, it took us till April 6th to celebrate it v-day. We went out to eat and then came back home. I walked into the living room and there was this whole scene set up of Sylvanian Families (these ridiculously adorable tiny animal figures in outfits that I collect) and there was a chapel and the bride and groom were getting married. On some end tables were all his he-man action figures as guests (he collects Masters of the Universe - as we're both "big kids"). Simultaneously, he started playing Jesse and the Ripper's Forever on our little ipig ipod speaker (if you're a Full House fan, you KNOW) ..in fact I had always told him I wanted that to be our wedding song. I'm a bit oblivious at times and I wasn't truly aware of what was going on - I think I was thinking that it was just an extravagant valentines day but when I turned around after examining the scene, he was on his knee with the ring. It was so special & romantic. He had his parents come over while we were out to eat, to set up the scene.And before we had left for the restaurant, we were in the car and he said he forgot his phone so he ran back into the house. ..but that was to put our poor cat, Willow, in the basement so she wouldn't destroy the upcoming chapel. 

I know you’re currently in the early planning stages, tell me about your dream wedding. What do you envision for your big day? Ideally, when would you like the wedding to take place?

We decided to do a fall wedding. Originally I toyed with the idea of a winter wedding but we figured that would be too hard on people with the snow and holidays around the corner. And I didn't want to do a spring or summer wedding because I feel like I'd be really bummed if it rained- but the Fall, you kind of expect it to. With fall you kind of just want to cuddle up to a fire, drink some mulled cider and enjoy the changing leaves. (It probably sounds dorky but I get excited for the change of seasons!) ...Anyways, we both agreed upon October (plus I figured I could use cornstalks, squash, pumpkins and hay as part of the decor and then we could utilize them after the wedding for the rest of the season.) To me this idea is great because we won't be stuck with a bunch of centerpieces or one time decorations that I won't know what to do with afterwards. Plus I'll be buying from local farmers for the decor.  We'll be getting married on 10-10-2015 which is Columbus day weekend. Since Jon is a mailman, this date works out perfect. He actually gets a day off! Working for the post office, you don't really get to take time off- so if we did do a honeymoon, it would just be in reasonable driving distance for one night. Not to mention, I don't think we could afford more than that anyways. Everything's so expensive!

It's even been a struggle to find a venue we could afford. I'm doing a rustic theme... and originally I was hoping to find some sort of barn venue to do one of those awesome barn weddings- the kind you see on pinterest- but it was impossible to find. The one local barn venue I did find was an absurd price. So I finally came across the Knox Estate. This is a beautiful old historic estate built in 1916 that also has a very reasonable rental fee that goes right back into preserving the estate and grounds. It's located in the quaint town of East Aurora, surrounded by acres of land. I think guests will enjoy exploring the 14,400 square foot two-story home built. The Knox Estate was also recently chosen as the Junior League of Buffalo's Show House (in 2013).

In lue of a traditional sit down dinner we will be doing a stationed event. There will be some tables and chairs but no assigned seating and not seating to sit everyone. The point is to get guests up, moving, talking, and exploring the house. Also, this way you're not forced into making awkward conversations with people you don't know or- if you have a complicated family like I do, people can easily spend their night around whomever they please.  In each of the main floor rooms there will be a different station. (I'm super excited about the food too!) It will be very fun & Fall appropriate. It won't be your typical slab of meat, veggies and potato (which I find super boring at weddings). We will have a pasta bar with the selection of pumpkin gnocchi with sage brown butter sauce, pesto tortellini, and an artisan mac & cheese. A soup & sandwich bar featuring the classic buffalo beef on weck, bavarian pork & butternut squash bisque, hot appetizers including pastry wrapped brie with pear, mini reubens, bbq shrimp & grits, and spinach and goat cheese pizza. I plan to have a popcorn bar too- because I'm a popcorn fanatic. For the cake, we'll just have a variety of cupcakes (which my wonderful future nieces will be making since they love to bake!). They do an excellent smores cupcake... and I did put a request in for a sweet potato cupcake ;) The bar will just be beer, wine & a signature cocktail and cash bar for hard liquor.  It's amazing how things add up so fast. When Jon and I first got engaged we thought we could pull this off real cheap. But cheap doesn't seem to exist especially when you want a somewhat decent wedding, are having a lot of guests, and I know it's just one day- but it's the wedding day... I do want some things to be nice..and food is where most of our expenses are. Where we cut corners on some things, food eats up the savings.

Colors will be neutral- khakis and creams and I plan to have just an all green bouquet. Just simple, natural colors. I did get my dress already too- and it's actually kind of funny... I first started at David's Bridal out of curiosity. The girl asked me what type of style I like and I fumbled for a description since I didn't really think of it before but I said something "vintagey"  ..she immediately started leading me to the $800 and above isle and I quickly blurted out "WAIT! - I'm on a budget! ....$300 and under please" ...so she showed me the tiny section. I tried a handful on and shortly after my neck started itching. We left the store unsatisfied and I started to feel bumps on my neck. I looked in the mirror and my neck was turning rashy and breaking out in hives. It lasted for a couple of days- enough to get me to go to the dermatologist. Turns out- I'm allergic to wedding dresses! My doctor said that wedding dresses are loaded with tons of chemicals to preserve them and protect them from bugs especially when they come from overseas. She highly suggested that I don't try them on and if I buy one, to dry clean it first. Well one day I decided to browse bhldn.com and they had 1 dress left in my size and on sale for $200. So I took a leap of faith and ordered it. It fit and no crazy allergic outbreak! My fiance and I have really super lucked out on certain aspects of our wedding. If it weren't for our friends & family, we wouldn't be able to have the wedding we're having. We have 2 friends doing the photography, one friend is bringing a photo booth, another friend is an ordained minister, and another will be the dj (in which we're just going to hand him over an ipod playlist)  ...that's right, no electric slide!!! We're also eliminating the parent dance. Since Jon and I both have a history of music, we will- I suppose we could say "serenade" our parents.Jon will play guitar and we'll both sing a modified version of the Beach Boys' God Only Knows. This way, I think it means more, there's no awkward 5 minutes and my mind won't wonder to sad thoughts and cause my face to be a horrible mess (due to family troubles...). It's also incredibly impossible to find an appropriate song with all the right words. -That's why we're even modifying the one we're singing. But to the average listener- no one will know the difference ;)

Note: The Knox Estate was also chosen for the Junior League of Buffalo's 2013 Show House 

Alt Weddings We Love: A & B's French Soiree

AB: How did you two meet? 

AF: This is a bit of an awkward story. We actually met through my ex-husband. It’s uncomfortable to talk about, and people tend to villainize situations like ours, so I don’t typically volunteer that aspect of our meeting. But it’s the truth, and I’m sure it happens more often than people let on. I’d been in an unhappy and unsuccessful marriage. My ex-husband and I were on the way to being separated and he and Byron worked together. My ex invited Byron to a Philly Beer Week pub crawl. I saw a very handsome man walking up the sidewalk towards our group, and it was electrifying. It was one of those moments when you meet someone and you know, somehow, that it means something. That they mean something. I never imagined it meant what it did, that I had just met my soul mate—especially given the situation—but if I had let myself see it, I would have known. I fell in love with him in that moment, though I didn’t admit it to myself for quite a long time. 

Show me your ring! What's the story behind it?

Byron and I spent months looking for the right rings. We both have very strong and specific styles. We wanted rings that express who we are, that are as out of the ordinary as we felt we, and our love, will always be. Byron kept saying, “I’ll know it when I see it.” We thought about vintage rings, but ultimately we wanted to be the beginning of a ring’s story, not an addition to a longer history. So, we walked into an unassuming jeweler’s shop off Jeweler’s Row in Philadelphia. Harry Merrill & Son. It’s a wonderful little place, where they don’t push sales and they want to get to know you and make you the rings you want to wear for the rest of your lives. And they did. Byron picked his right out of the case. Mine was custom, and I’m obsessed with it. The jewelers even helped me surprise Byron with an engraving on the inside of his—the cheesiest thing ever: Our Great Love Always—that he didn’t see until the wedding day. 

What's the funniest moment you've shared together? Oh goodness, there are so many. Everyone seems to get a kick out of the fact that our last names were the same before we got married. I was born with Byron’s last name, and when I was a kid, I used to tell myself I’d find someone with the same one so I didn’t have to change mine. I suppose, as a 10-year-old, it didn’t occur to me that a woman had the right to keep her name anyway. Everything in the name of romance! But that aside, on our first trip together after we started officially seeing each other, the gentleman checking us into our bed and breakfast referred to me as Byron’s wife. My divorce was in process but not complete, which made it a little extra awkward, and at the moment perhaps it was more mortifying than funny, but now we’re hyphenating to avoid the confusion. 

What has been your biggest struggle together? We’ve had our fair share of struggles. Byron is British and I’m American, so we had to manage the long distance thing for quite a while. But I’m a hopeless romantic and I loved the love letters we wrote to each other and the suspense and anticipation for visits (which we usually managed every three months or so). But the hardest thing, for both of us I think, was that I was in the process of getting divorced. It added such a heaviness to everything. Things you wouldn’t think of. Family especially. Introducing Byron to my family was difficult. They didn’t agree with my divorce. They had spent years welcoming my ex-husband into the family as a son, and they kind of made Byron work extra hard to find the same welcome. Which I think had more to do with them finding me too quick to jump ship than it had to do with him. But still. I’m grateful for the patience and the grace he showed through that struggle. It helped me get through it, and it reminded me over and over again how lucky I was to have him in my life. He rescued me.

  Let's talk engagement! How did he propose? Oh, it was so dreamy. I have to preface it. Our first “date”, that wasn’t really a date but more the day we realized how overwhelming our feelings for each other were, was at a restaurant in the East Village. Desnuda is, perhaps, the sexiest restaurant in New York. The only seating runs along the bar. Latin jazz syncopates in the background to the rhythm of big leaf fans on the walls while you drink South American wine, nibble truffled popcorn, and watch the chef smoke oysters and prepare ceviche in front of you. To say the least, the atmosphere was a bit fraught that day. There was so much electricity running between us, I actually fell off my stool. Fast forward two years: Desnuda had just opened a location in Williamsburg, and for the anniversary of our first dinner together, Byron took me out. We glutted ourselves on ceviche, oysters, and wine, and then—suddenly—there was a shiny little box in front of my plate. He asked me to marry him. I cried and asked him to say it again (so I could hear him say it again—it’s still all about that accent of his). And we kissed, and our server came out with champagne to toast with, then later tequila from the chef to congratulate us on being the first couple to get engaged in the restaurant. Needless to say, between the wine and the oysters and the kisses, we had a very wobbly and romantic walk home afterwards. I don’t think we made it five yards without stopping to steal more smooches.

  You had the wedding of my dreams (in Provence, no less!), where only your closest family and friends attended. Why did you decide on this, versus something bigger and closer to home? There are a couple of reasons. One, because Byron’s family lives in England and mine lives outside of Philadelphia, we wanted to pick neutral ground. We figured if one side of the family had to travel, everyone should. And Provence—a place that is such a sensory overload in all the best ways—seemed the perfect choice. It was somewhere we’d both always wanted to go, and we were up for a warm, rustic, romantic adventure. We wanted something that focused on Byron and me, our choice to commit ourselves to each other. We wanted the day to be all about our love and having the support of our closest loved ones. I didn’t want to get caught up in scheduling DJs and planning uplighting, centerpieces, and the details that—for me—took away from the meaning of the day the first time around. Having an intimate ceremony without all the details planned out allowed more room for surprises and unexpected wonderful moments. We even had a local cat come and sit between our feet during the ceremony. And my dad made my bouquet the night before the ceremony. We laughed, we cried. I can’t tell you how much the intimacy of the day magnified the already intense levels of bliss and poignancy.

  As a writer, I'm not surprised that you wrote your own vows and ceremonial speeches. Was this challenging for you? Describe the process.  This was a wonderful adventure. And it was less challenging than you’d think it would be. It did require a bit of research into the parts of a ceremony, but it also allowed us to incorporate all the parts that we found important and none of the ones we didn’t. As a writer and avid reader, especially, I had a great time rereading my favorite love stories and trolling the internet for ideas. Byron and I wanted a ceremony that would reflect us as a couple. We wanted it to be different, and we wanted it to be as meaningful as possible. We asked our parents, sisters, and best friends to each play a roll for us. Our fathers gave us advice and good wishes for our future (they made their own speeches, which made both of us tear up a bit). Our sisters read from our favorite love stories (Byron’s sister, Emily, read A Lovely Love Story by Edward Monkton, and my sister, Jen, read a quote from Corelli’s Mandolin). Our best friends asked us the vows we wrote for each other—which were both playful and serious, like us. We wrote our own secret vows for each other, exchanged rings, and our mothers declared us husband and wife. It couldn’t have been more special, having each of the people who meant the most to us participate in our marriage.

  Being that this was your second wedding, do you think having the first experience pushed you in a different direction? How did you feel about planning the second time? How were your priorities changed? I touched on this a bit earlier on. The first experience definitely pushed me in a different direction for this wedding. It taught me what mattered, and I’m thankful for that. But I made the wrong decision, marrying the first time. I was too young and I couldn’t see how bad for me that relationship was. Like I said, that first experience became about the appearance of the day more than the meaning behind it. It had been a big, traditional wedding. I approached marrying Byron differently on so many aspects—I made sure not to fret the unimportant details, and part of the reason I wanted an improvisational destination adventure was to ensure that I didn’t. But it was easy! The things I was excited about were different, planning a wedding with Byron. I wasn’t excited about appearances (not to say I wasn’t daydreaming endlessly about getting married surrounded by lavender fields, hilltop villages, and French wine!) But mostly, I was excited to show Byron what he means to me, what it would mean to me to be his wife, to show my family and friends, and Byron’s family and friends, just how much we are in love, how right we are for each other, how important it is that we decided to commit ourselves to each other. I didn’t feel we could do that with a traditional wedding. Part of that feeling I’m sure came from my first experience, the perspective it gave me. But it also came from the fact that this time, I was marrying my soul mate. And both of us wanted the day, above everything else, to exemplify who we are as a couple and what a beautiful future we have ahead of us as one entity instead of two.

[Photos by the talented Flo Moncenis.]

Save That Date: Use Magnets Not Paper

Are you tired of getting boring after boring invitations? Don't they all just look the same? We have nothing against paper; in fact, we love getting snail mail, because it is more personal in that sea of virtual mail. But, we're also busy. It's hard to keep track of loose paper items, especially if you despise clutter. 

Instead of ordering paper save the date's, try magnets instead. This way, your guests will never forget when your wedding is and they can save it as a momentum of the day. It's fun, it's cute, it's inexpensive, and it lasts basically forever.

Vendors, like Vistaprint, print magnets for cheap. While VP has rather generic designs to choose from, it's easy to find a designer who can craft and personalize your save the date. If you don't know a designer, we do! Our in-house designer, Ted Chevalier, is a fantastic graphic designer who crafted various projects for Alt Bride Editor Joanna, such as her book cover, Yes Poetry site, and Luna Luna Magazine logo. Contact us for pricing & details--we want to make your special day literally picture perfect. [Image] 

Alternative Bridal Veils

If you're anything like me, I don't love most bridal veils. They look like puffy clouds sitting on top of bride's head; especially in combination with the classic white gown, it looks like someone decided to be a life size cupcake. Out with the old & in with the new, opting for more sleek, less stuffy. For brides rocking short hair, alternative veils are definitely an item worth checking out. The combination of short hair with a long veil can look uneven & disproportional; what's worth than spending an exorbitant amount of money on an item that doesn't even look great? 

Birdcage veils, leaf crowns, flower crowns, and lace headdresses are lovely and ethereal alternatives for those who don't simply don't want the classic approach. 

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Ring Radar: Ruby Engagement Rings

If you want a ring that makes a statement, rubies are the way to go. Besides their vibrant red color that makes any head turn, the ruby is considered the most powerful gem in the universe. Who doesn't want to be a master of the cosmos?  Rubies should be worn on the left hand, so the wearer receives peace, contentment, vitality, and protection. Given as a gift, the gem is a symbol of love, which makes it ideal for engagements. As the love stone, it encourages the wearer to be more courageous and to be the best version of themselves.

Besides being the love stone, it also has healing properties. For instance, rubies circulate blood flow more evenly, and help cleanse the body of germs and infections. 

In general, the most desired color of a ruby is "pigeon's blood," which is deep red with a splash of blue, which results in a reddish-purplish hue. Most rubies are bright red, tending to come from Thailand or Burma.

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