Really Goddamn Bored

“Is there friendly fire?” I ask to my teammate who is about to get very mad

Man it’s wet in here.

i can no longer take any description of a male protagonist seriously if the writer describes him as ‘brooding’

because i used to think ‘oh, that’s sexy and mysterious, etc’

and now i think of this

once you’ve been loudly cussed out by 2.5 lbs of feathers, that word only ever means one thing

This is the kinda brooding i WANNA see

#so this behavior basically translates to nonstop cuddling of offspring and vocal aggression towards anything that tries to prevent that #tbh i would be delighted to see male protagonists do just this sort of thing (via starfoozle)

I just had to explain what I was cackling at to my roommate. It automatically passes the Laugh Rule.

She found her reluctant fiance, Erstad, brooding out on the rainy moors. 

“Is that a baby rabbit?” she asked, observing his huddled form. 

“IT’S SIX BABY RABBITS AND YOU CAN’T TOUCH THEM,” replied Ernstad, contriving to look twice his usual size and at least three times his usual fierceness. 

“Whoah okay damn,” she said, and backed away. 

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006) dir. Gore Verbinski

ice cream trucks will be exactly the same post revolution theyll just be free

i forgot the monetary meaning of the word free and i thought this meant they would be liberated

theyll be that too

self care is so damn difficult when you… don’t… care… about your own self

You have been visited by the Chan of wealth, reblog this and you will have money come to you!

I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY AND LIKE 2 HOURS LATER THE WALLET I HAD LOST 6 HOURS AWAY FROM HOME THAT HAD MY DEBIT CARD AND LIKE 80 DOLLARS IN CASH WAS DELIVERED TO MY HOUSE WITH NO RETURN ADDRESS I CANT HELP BUT THINK IT WAS JACKIE CHAN WHO SENT IT GOD BLESS YOU JACKIE CHAN

Last time I did this it was payday so duh. Let’s see what you’ve got this time, Chan.

Er, actually, about a minute after I hit reblog I got some very important (and positive) money-related news out of the blue. The system works, guys.

THIS WORKS!!

Reblog and you’re guaranteed to be successful at whatever you do next!

I’ve been waiting all year to post this.

When you don’t know who you’re robbing

Lmaooooooooooo. This is so elaborate

Happy halloween 2017！ https://twitter.com/karasuki/status/925341578322894849 10月忙しくて趣味絵全然描けてない！！ というわけですべりこみハロウィン絵🎃 2015のワンドロでも描いたジャックランタンミドナ＆定番の狼男君で…

you: suck my dick me, an intellectual: inhale my richard

this post has ruined my life

hands down the best twitter story ever

bonus

It got better

I sometimes think I’m a genius, but other times I seriously am worried I may be autistic.