Happiness[1998]

i am just an animal why am i doing all this

The funniest instagram post in existence

one of my brother’s cousins is 17 and running this weed instagram where he invents weed slang that’s outlandish even by california standards and the house has slowly stopped speaking english as we imitate it

im losing my fucking mind

i touched the wrong button at the self checkout register at work and started hand stimming and the straight lady coworker who was coming over to approve my employee discount said “work!” because she thought i was voguing 😭

unbelievable that its 4/20 and absolutely nobody has put the objectively best rage comic on my dash yet. i have to do everything around here

runner up

this probably doesn't count as a rage comic but its up there

found goat milk and wheat ale at the store. theres no way im NOT making a white gilgamesh tonite

ok here we go. recipe/original post here:

i sent this post to my friend who is known for making Concoctions. thinking she'd just find it funny. i underestimated her hubris

so for anyone curious about the white gilgamesh experience. i hope this satiates that sick desire in your hearts

There's a bunch of adhd advice out there that's like "people with adhd tend to work better under deadlines due to the anxiety so here are ways to artificially induce a stress response in order to get you to get work done" and it's like well what if I don't want to be stressed out all the time in order to function

this gold shouldn't stay in the comments

Hillæo

HiLLæoo

People always called me a girl until I started calling myself one then all the sudden they were board certified biologists.

the sandwich price to minimum wage ratio is getting so fucked up

"Heres how to stand up to your boss at work and get that raise you deserve!"

*detailed list of things that would get you instantly fired*

I don't trust anyone who hasn't acknowledged their capacity for evil.

"I'm just a smol bean uwu" No sir, what you are is someone who is so habituated to thinking of yourself as innocent that you will continue to do so even when you're guilty.

To quote Chris Fleming

"You know that thing where the most toxic person you've ever met over-relates to woodland creatures on social media? I call it Vibe Dysphoria. She'll put up a picture of a mouse in a jean jacket with 'It's me.' That is not you. I don't know how you got under the impression that you are a mouse in a jean jacket. You are an eel with a gun.She posts a toad with a basket of mushrooms like 'Me doing my little things.' Oh madam, there is nothing little about your things. You gave me psychosexual issues I'll carry to my watery grave. You are not a toad in the forest...You are a cruel woman who just happens to be small."--Chris Fleming