Cookies or GTFO

This just makes me think of the building that was a Pizza Hut near us.. that got turned into a gym.

do you think they serve grilled cheese at quarks if so do you think its like an actually good grilled cheese… or is it shite… i feel like quarks the kinda guy whod serve up a mean grilled cheese. or is it just me. hello?

I think it’s one of those “it shouldn’t hit as hard as it does but it DOES” situations. Like wafflehouse.

So I binged the entirety of How To Build a Sex Room last night and this one scene just cracked me up

The designer's at a western leather/tack store looking for supplies to make a rustic-style sex swing and turns to one of the store employees for advice, which initially goes about as amusingly as you would expect

So then she pulls up some pictures to give him an idea of what she needs

And he's Immediately like

The professional disgust, I'm living

... yeah, that tracks. I know so many crafting professionals who would be like that.

'Professional expresses strong well-founded opinions on something he only just learned about,' gotta be one of my favorite genres

I reject the idea that kindness and gentleness and love needs to involve a bunch of gentle flowery language

I help you move, I bake you a pie, I sit next to you on purpose. How are you not getting the message yet? What do you want? A love poem? I don't know how to write those. Here, take this rock. It's your favorite color.

One of my dad's close friends reads online newspapers constantly and he always texts my dad articles that he thinks that he would enjoy. Where's the romanticization of that kind of behavior?

wow... yeah, you're really showing how much you hate capitalism by ... (checks notes) ... paying $10 for a fucking ice-cream...

idiot

​they… they gentrified eating the rich

behold my masterpiece

NONE OF THESE MEN ARE JERMA

Okay but these fucking dudes are trying hard to reach an audience and I respect the fuck out of them for it. 12/10 sanitation department of New York City.

I was prepared to cringe but I think this was good

These guys at NYC Sanitation are paid 150k a year and retire on 125k a year pensions til they die......

And they should. God bless them

Salary of public sanitation workers should be more than the salary of any politician

They don’t get those figures until they old af and in certain positions but also like bruh of any job to pay peolle nsane mkney this is a flex

Sanitation is one of the most dangerous jobs out there, and one of the core reasons we have eliminated or diminished many illnesses. Sanitation workers deserve their weight in gold.

Doctors cure individuals of diseases

Sanitation workers protect *entire cities* from diseases

If you genuinely believe that sanitation workers don't deserve to be well paid, you might need to take a good hard look at your internalized classism

I am OBSESSED with people telling me how they met the love of their life. Just found out my director met his wife through a misdirected email - that’s fate right there.

“I saw her last name was Jewish - and I’m Jewish, so when I corrected the email I told her Shabbat Shalom with a smiley face — this was the very beginning of the emoticon era, you understand. She had a watermark of a dog rescue at the bottom of her email, and I love dogs, so I found her website and there she was — all these videos of her rehabilitating dogs and talking about the organization. I fell in love with her just from those videos.”

“I asked if we could meet for coffee, told her I was looking for volunteer opportunities — which was halfway a lie — and she said ‘okay, but just so you know I have a boyfriend, so this is strictly business,’ and I was so disappointed, but I did want to meet her. We sat in that coffeeshop until they turned the lights out on us, and she broke up with her boyfriend the next day.”

MULTIPLE people in the notes have told me how important these tags are to them so here’s to keeping it in the main post.

this kid’s post and his replies to people’s questions are so pure I’m sobbing

What’s better— the thread is filled with people giving some good advice on how to respect a woman’s boundaries and how to ask what she would be okay with, publicly. Lots of trans girls thanking him for being so patient and thoughtful with his words, and lots of people cautioning him that his purpose as a boyfriend would be to keep her safe, even from his own friends and family if need be. A+ shit right here.

This is so FUCKING cute help me

hey, trans girls who are into guys? THIS is what you deserve. don’t you ever believe that you have to bend over backwards for men to like you, that you have to accept being disrespected and mistreated, that you’re something to hide or be ashamed of. you’re beautiful, you’re a fucking princess, and you deserve someone who sees that and loves you deeply and unconditionally, who will choose you over the world and fight the world for you. THIS is the kind of guy.

Man: What’s a matter girl, you had a little bit too much corn?

Pig: *very long disgruntled groan which rises in pitch*

Man: Is that a yeah?

Pig: *shorter groan*

Man: Okay.  Here I come, I gotta get the intoxicated pig… Look at this pig…

Pig: *quiet snort*

Man: Hey!

Pig: *snort*

Man: Are you messed up, girl?  

Pig: *short snort*

Man: Never seen a damn pig… Look at that, that one here’s fine, that one there is fine, this one here is turned belly up 

Pig: *snort snort snort snort*

Man: Hey you

Pig: *snort*

Man: Whoa!  Whoa!  Shit!  [Unintelligible] HOWH!  Come here girl! 

Pig: *grunt grunt grunt*

Man: Holy hell, fuck…I didn’t mean to do that

“Whoa! Woah! Shit The Bed Almighty!” Is my new favorite expletive

Batman (1940) #624

one braincell here

based moffat

by @hijynkz

i don’t trust people who put pills in their mouth BEFORE the water

you really can’t trust anybody these days……..

C. down the pills without any water

DEFINITELY wait for it!

This is what it’s like living in Michigan

It’s a Monty Python skit.

Guy: *Singing* I’m doing some fishing…

Officer: *Emerges from the water with a grunt* You there, Sir!! I certainly hope you’ve got a fishing license!

Guy: *Panicking* Wha, no, I don’t!

Officer: Oh no?

Guy: *Screaming*

Officer: I’ll have you beheaded!!

i will never not reblog this