gay🍔irl

why is he sitting like a 14th century monarch

he is one

#IsBruceWayneBatman: a social media au | Part I

I mean yeah this is exactly what would happen.

Batman has gone to great lengths to create the persona of “Bruce Wayne, upper class twit who could never be Batman.”

If Batman walked into the middle of Gotham Square and pulled off his mask and yelled “I, Bruce Wayne, am Batman!” The Headline would be “Bruce Wayne gets drunk at costume party, driven home by Commissioner James Gordon.”

And on that ride home:

Gordon: You are such a piece of shit you know that right? One of these days that’s not gonna work.

Bruce: *With the biggest shit eating grin ever* I know Jim, but it never stops being funny.

Gordon: So…. out of curiosity, how much money did Ollie lose to you this time?

Bruce: A gentleman never tells Jim, besides, its not about the money, its about the satisfaction of being right….. and the look on his face.

Gordon: Nice.

and you just know Alfred has a veritable host of “embarrassing early morning bruce” pics and video raring to go, like after a “skiing accident” to cover up a particularly nasty bat-injury in the line of duty

“I’m fine Alfred.”

“If you are, then prove it by putting on your socksies by your self.”

(source is Harley Quinn season 2, episode 5, but I can see this as part of Dave Willis’ “Happy Bruce” headcanon

I think the villain reactions would be priceless as well.

Two Face: Look I was friends with Bruce for years. He’s a nice guy, but doesn’t have the brains God gave a fiddler crab. He’s not Batman.

Riddler: I can confirm this. I took him and his board of directors hostage once. He tried to write me a check and got the check wrong. Four. Times. He had to ask his guy Lucius Fox to do it. It was just plain awkward for everyone involved.

Poison Ivy: Bruce is what we in the business call a Himbo, great to look at, a real sweetheart, but not much going on upstairs. I guarantee he’s not Batman.

Penguin: I’ve had Bruce Wayne as a guest at the Iceberg lounge before. Nice guy, excellent tipper, complete and utter moron. If he’s Batman I’ll eat my umbrella.

Joker: What? Oh yea of course Bruce Wayne is Batman. I mean obviously right?

Rest of the villains:……

Joker: Wait, you mean you guys didn’t know? I figured it out like the first day.

Penguin: You…. you’re joking right.

Joker: Penguin you will KNOW when I am joking. Seriously. No one else figured it out. No one. Just me. You guys are dumbasses.

Riddler: *Pinches bridge of nose* Okay…. so if Bruce Wayne is Batman, and you KNEW this the whole time, why not just KILL BRUCE WAYNE?

Joker: *As serious as a heart attack* because I’m not fighting Bruce Wayne, I’m fighting Batman. Obviously.

Riddler: Goddammit I hate you so much Joker. So fucking much. I can literally taste how much I hate you.

Joker: you all are the ones with like phds and law degrees right? I knew college degrees were jokes!

“It’s nice of you to help your friend… but where’s your own cape?”

See ya on the ground, capt'n!

i mean, dami isn’t wrong

“No wonder the angry one was tryin’ to hang the skinny one in my barn earlier.”

Concept : Malcolm in the middle, but with Bruce and the bat kids.

Zubeia that’s. That’s literally your kid???

at 3:00 AM

I'm seeing people post about PSAT memes and I'm glad kids are having fun with that. fuck the system leak all the questions

hate to sound old but

open RP

“Hey~”

Sasuke scoffed and glared at the girl standing before him. “Sharpay Evans. I know you were the one who ordered my older brother to destroy my clan. For that, you shall die!” He roared, closing his eyes and activating his Sharingan. ” I WILL AVENGE MY FAMILY!”

“I’d love to see you try, sasuke”

“You can’t lay a finger on me, not with that horrendous top.”

That was it. The final straw. This boy had insulted Sharpay’s fashion sense and that was a fatal move. 

“The uchiha bloodline ends here”