Alice Lamont

     It was rare that people realized the little blessings in life until they were gone. And with nothing left between them in the brooding silence other than a bottle of wine, Alice had finally come up with at least ten good reasons to hope that old record player of the doctor’s would never stop working again. Alice could tell the man across from him wanted to talk; it was easy to tell once you noticed how much he shifted in his seat. It was almost like the thought itself was an itch in his throat, and the discomfort until someone spoke up was agonizingly contagious. Deciding he’d had enough wine to sit through whatever possible concern his companion could be stressed about, Alice leaned over a little to nudge him into conversation.

     “Somethin’ on your mind, doc?” he asked.

     Dr. Ashford looked aside, seeming surprisingly sober for the amount of liquor that had already been whittled away.

     “I just… I suppose I can’t help but question,” he said with uncertainty, “am I… am I truly doing what’s best for this city? Because at this point, after meeting so many people here, after knowing every shadow that lurks behind all of us…”

     Of course, more of that pesky self-doubt. Alice didn’t need to hear anymore; he was already well on his way to rolling his eyes. Much as Ashford had all the respect he could muster for someone else, Alice had to wonder how someone with his mind set so fervently towards greatness could be so concerned about the toes you have to step on to get there.

     “Want my two cents?” he asked, sinking back into the crook of the armchair, “I reckon you worry too much about what other people think. I get that you’re a doctor and all, ‘seems like helpin’s just in the nature of folks like you. But y’know, this is Rapture. No one’s askin’ you to actually do anything for ‘em, let alone try and give ‘em a miracle.”

     Dr. Ashford sighed, “It isn’t what they think; it’s what I fear that they are. There are two kinds of people in this world, Alice… Those who suffer and those who cause the suffering.”

     This made the other tilt his head; whether it was from genuine intrigue or that he was simply toying with the doctor’s possible implications, neither could say. That being said, most times nowadays it was the former of the two, and Alice was still unsure whether or not he was comfortable with this. Even with a man he’d gone through hell and back with (hell, especially with a man he’d gone through hell and back with), it had always been a sure sign to back off a bit once he knew someone could get into his head, something that Ashford had practically turned into an art form. Always keep people at arm’s distance, he thought, that’s what keeps you alive.

     “So what’s that make you?” Alice asked, still trying to feign indifference.

     Ashford paused, and as he turned aside his expression etched with solemn shadows over the murky blue.

     “Someone foolish enough to want to break that cycle, regardless of whichever side it leaves me.”

     He was unwilling to elaborate any further, but they both understood.

//It's been a rough few months.

Not to get too deeply into it, but an excess of too much to do and not enough energy to do it all has taken a huge toll on my physical and mental well being. If I'm to be perfectly honest, it still sort of is.

But I really don't want to give up the things I enjoyed because of this.

I've been spending the last few weeks trying to get myself back together and go cautiously back into rp, and I'd decided it would be the most appropriate time to do so on the birthday of the character himself, October 27th.

In short, I'll be polishing up this blog again and posting sparse drabbles based on an ask game I had left unfinished before using the time I can to rp again. I apologize again for having gone quietly into the night, but I can assure you my muse has always been there. The hand behind it's just been tired for far too long, that's all.