MURDER PODCAST STARTER SENTENCES: IT EDITION  —  quotes from pulled from my favorite murder and last podcast on the left. feel free to make alterations. 

• your face looks as if you are reminiscing about some horrors of the past.
• this is a very important ritual, you idiot.
• the eighties were a red flag.
• of course by tools, you mean a fanny pack?
• there’s a fine line between adventure and trauma.
• do you have any repressed memories you wanna bring up?
• what a nice time that was when the only thing we had to be scared of was creepy clowns.
• boats are bad news.
• i am just saying do not get restaurant managers mad at us.
• fuck my childhood.
• i keep forgetting about what a loose, tenuous line we have on reality.
• we’ve all been there, we’ve all had our parents chase us down the hallway.
• what a great opportunity for a ton of bad decisions.
• i’m not getting killed this week.
• never trust a writer, they spend too long alone.
• is anyone reading at libraries or are they just glorified bathrooms?
• i give my parents a solid C-.
• you are just the cutest little button.
• you don’t just give a person a book of poems.
• that is disturbing, wild stuff.
• maybe it’s best you stay inside.
• it’s more terrifying than i could ever imagine, the idea that clowns did it.
• do not taint childhood memories with your version of it!
• every single person i meet thinks that i’m totally insane, but what they don’t understand is that i have my finger on the pulse of what’s really going on.
• i really feel like the police, they really did a bumble-up of the job.
• that was kind of the dumbest idea of all time?
• where’s my birds at? ca-cawww!
• let me just stop you really quick, because i think you’re making everything worse.
• you’re too short to make a proper human shield.
• let’s see some dead bodies. that’s how i’m gonna deal with this horror show of life.
• i think if i told my father how i was feeling, he’d be like, “that’s dumb.”
• boy, that was [number] years of unrequited love.
• i opened up my fortune cookie today and it said, “go fuck yourself!”
• one could blame it entirely on [name] and i will.
• what i liked about the ritual, immediately, is that it reminded me of my friends.
• i am what the kids call a “ride or die.”
• what kind of pain-in-the-ass bitch brings her own blanket to a hotel? 
• let’s avoid getting wedgies today.
• i mean – the past, am i right?
• lucky this is a perfect segue to my poem “so long jerk.”
• little dogs are the scariest dogs.
• it feels like home, ‘cause it’s terrible.
• you don’t think i won’t show up out of the sewers and attack you from a subterranean way?
• you get a lot of puzzles done.
• i know you had a very sparse, bad childhood, but it’s a simple toy.
• you’re wearing short shorts, but somehow they make you look more nude than if you were nude.
• i was walking around the park yesterday trying to talk to the birds. 
• well, i don’t want us all dead, but it would be fun to die together
• was it a pinky swear? because if it’s a pinky swear, they can’t break that.