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Interviewer: Could you have been in a boy band?
Ed: Fuck no. I had trouble getting signed to a record label for the way I look.
Interviewer: Ladies do you find a problem with the way he looks?
Crowd: No!
Ed: But that’s only because I’ve been given the opportunity to kind of go out there and play my music.The first glimpse of a boy band is usually the way that they look. So I probably wouldn’t have fit in the boy band. And I can’t dance either. To be fair, when I first went to record companies when I was like 17, I wasn’t really managed and I hadn’t done anything really big. I just had a lot of songs. I moved to London on my own at 16. I was a very athletic kid, but when I moved above a pub (when I was only living off of one pound a day) I just ate fries every day and the pub gave me free beer. So all I did was drink beer and eat chips. So I got very, very fat very, very, quickly. So you can imagine a fat, pale, red-cheeked, ginger kid coming in and singing you love songs. And all the guys at the record companies are like “This is not marketable.”

And now they are all hanging their heads in shame.

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My Mum and Ed Sheeran

Mum: why didn't you tell me?
Me: tell you what?
Mum: that my red little cupcake is married
Me: WTF? since when is sven (my brother) married?
Mum: not sven, I'm talking about ed. ed is married ..and not with you.
Me: and whose fault is that? if you had lived in England, who knows what would have happened.
Mum: that's true. Do you want to come over ? Make sure to bring Ed's dvd.
Me: Sure. And Mum? Ed is not married
Mum: then you know what you have to do, find ed, marry him and get sweet little ginger babies with him. but first, let's see, how Ed rocks the wembley stadium.
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