This is not a Caffiene Free Zone

y’all: peter was able to stop bucky’s fist in civil war bc bucky heard peter’s voice, realized he was a child, then weakened his punch bc he was so worried about hurting a child uwu

me, eating pistachios: y’all know peter can canonically lift up to 75 tons, right. y’all know bucky’s fist is easy as hell for peter to block, right. y’all know bucky didn’t know shit about peter being a child and was just shocked that someone was able to so easily block his punch, right. y’all know that, right.

naw fuck that bucky’s punches aren’t easy to block, it’s WAY funnier if peter blocked a full force punch from bucky, who only a few seconds later realizes he’s a kid as soon as peter opens his mouth

that’s the face of a man who went from “holy shit he blocked my punch?” to “holY SHiT a 12 YEARoLD BLOCKED mY PUNCH???” in 3 seconds flat.

Next second is “i triED TO PUNCH A CHILD”

i physically can’t scroll past this post

RIGHT

“team of people and there’s one girl” is literally the worst trope and I’m Tired of it

its so weird because its always like “we need one of each personality trope” and then “this one’s personality is girl”

NEW BOOK COVERS FOR HARRY POTTER 20TH ANNIVERSARY (ONLY IN THAILAND) by Arch Apolar

im the teacher

Lightning would probably do this for Doc

*sets a cake on Doc Hudson’s desk*

“3 month anniversary? What’s this for Lightning??”

“It’s officially been three months since we turned in the essays and haven’t heard a single word about them.”

*Class giggles*

*Doc smashes the cake in Lightning’s face*

*Uproarious laughter from the rest of the class as Lightning stands there surprised, icing dripping from his face*

“I hope someone celebrates the anniversary of THAT three months from now.”

I’m sorry did someone just add a cars au to this post-

one day hozier is gonna cover hallelujah and by god it’ll kill me but what a way to go

watch until the very end

your url just makes it better

Did a fucking Cornetto commercial do this to me

Damn, that was really unexpected😳

Cool commercial!

Tfw you have the sudden urge to draw fan art for a fucking commercial

At least there’s one thing I can count on in this crazy mixed up world

Can we please stop associating being a good person with how much you're willing to suffer in silence for other people? You can be a kind person and still say "no, I don't have the time/energy to help you with that." You can be a kind person and still say "this makes me uncomfortable, please stop." You can be a kind person and still say "I disagree and here's why." You can be kind and still say "I'm not okay with this." Being kind is about treating people with kindness and respect, not about being the human equivalent of a doormat!

it’s time to install the sims again so that at least my sim can leave their house and interact with people

every king in the Middle Ages: it’s really important that I don’t die because I don’t have an heir and if something were to happen to me, the whole kingdom would be thrown into civil war

every king in the Middle Ages: anyway time to go CHASE WILD BOARS WITH A POINTY STICK

the eternal masculine dichotomy of “I must preserve my bloodline, for it is the most powerful and special on Earth” and “I am too powerful to ever die”

this is why they are

as much as the concept of Jesus being a fairly normal lad has its charms, im personally very intrigued by the idea of him being just… extremely weird. not even in a mystical sense, just…….staggeringly BIZZARRE. 

you go to the well to get some water, and here’s Miriam’s boy, staring at the sky, completely still. his expression is unreadable. you hazard a hello and ask how he’s doing, and he slowly, unblinkingly, lowers his gaze on you (he’s 8 and is missing his frontal teeth, not that this is making you any less uncomfortable) and says “I cannot speak of the state of my being, Nathan son of Saul, my brother, but rejoice for the water you shall take today will be as pure as the soul of the children of Heaven”

…you start sweating

normal person in 1st century Nazareth: making my way downtown, walking fast

*sees J boy, 8 yo, staring at you from across the street*

normal person: walking faster 

even funnier, the only person 100% on board with his Prophetic Kid Talk is his mother Miriam, an otherwise placid, absolutely normal woman around 25 or so

kid JC, coming home at twilight, a single white dove following him and chirping with weirdly human-like precision:

 moth̫́er,̦͌ ̮̉i h͙̉av͔̽e ͓͗b̘̃r̞̓o̮͘u̲̒gh̟͒t̺́ you a do̗͐ṽ͙e̢͘ ͈̾m͒͢a͈̽dē̝ ỏ̘f ͈̓c̆͜l͔̂aỷ͇ aṋ̑d̳̿ g͢͞i̹̾fted̖͡ ̻͐it ͓͂w̖̿it̎͜h t̥̃h͙͒e ̨̒m̧̂i̡̍ŗ͒â̫cḷ̔è̤ ̛̻of̞̅ l̘̈i̛̦fè̳

Miriam: ! that’s my little boy :) now let’s go get ready for dinner :) 

her husband Yosef, a carpenter who only marginally got signed up for this: 

This post is so Christian, but it’s the spicy kind of Christian that gets you murdered by other Christians for heresy, so I’m torn.

literally biggest form of compliment i’ve ever gotten

that means the angels are babysitters then

here have more

I love the idea of Angels watching out for kid Jesus.

Also like, weird kid to normal-ish adult.

Bridesmaid to a waiter: What a beautiful wedding

Waiter, about to reveal that the poor groom’s bride is a whore: Oh you haven’t heard?

the number of people making comments on this post about how there’s nothing wrong with being a whore is far too high like i’m not trying to shame people who are promiscuous or sex workers this is a fucking reference to a song and if you dont understand the reference dont reblog with some idiotic trying too hard to be progressive shit its literally a joke about a lyric from a song it was never, and never will be, that fucking deep. if you dont get the reference literally just shut up and dont reblog this post oh my god

by fall out boy

I dont know what’s funnier the people getting offended because they don’t get the panic reference or the people getting offended because they don’t get the fall out boy joke

Comprehension of this post is what defines the Millennial / Gen Z generational boundary.

by panic! at the disco

かわむさんのツイート: かわいいパンダでも見て心を落ち着かせるか https://t.co/VHzHvMV9fU

Are you threatening me with violence

He’s so close to figuring it out

this is what you guys get for naming ships in your show in such a stupid way

same energy

holy trinity

The fourth horseman

Here’s another for yall

Hey why can’t I reblog this

wait this post is a no-note bungus

Real Friends Would Understand Why They Haven’t Reached Out or Not Hold It Against You

!!