My dad is a kroger manager and sent me this (repost without personal info)

u all ever lose the ability to socialize in the middle of a convo like.... ok i’m done now there’s no more words in here brain shutting off

little bunny foo foo i think youre fucked for what you did to those field mice and i will see your head on a spike before the sun sets

What the fuck do you know

little bunny foo foo went hopping through the forest scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head

They’re probably talking about donuts

Somebody tell me a joke please. An innocent stupid joke that would tickle the fancy of a ten year old.

What do you call a dog who does magic?

A Labracadabrador

Okay that’s pretty good

ready to get like 17 tattoos right now

This tag made me tear up real tears it’s so evil.

i dont want traditional burial i want to become a bog body

this is threatening!!

my roommates keep bullying my cat by calling his name repeatedly to get his attention and then going “bababooie” every time he looks at them

they also laugh and go “get bababooied” and he always looks so lost

the face of a man scandalized

the four horsemen

peck

my fuckin dumb idiot sleep deprived head hitting the pillow after 39.4 hours of insomnia

"So your planet, 'Dirt'—"

“‘Earth.’" 

“Right, Planet Dirt. It has two massive polar regions?“ 

“Uh-huh?“ 

”…named, ‘Bearlandia’ and ‘Nobearlandia’?“ 

“I think something went wrong with the translation software.”

SET COURSE FOR BEARLANDIA

*slaps the upper part of the map* “Go HERE if you prefer bears.”

*slaps the lower part of the map* “Go HERE if you prefer NOT bears.”