:O

our discord unanimously agreed that ratatouille is a mecha and I cried laughing after making this joke

been thinking about fantasy/scifi rule systems and free will

The best low-stakes grifter of all time, though, is Carlos Kaiser, who put together a 13-year career as a soccer player without once playing soccer. He would sign for a team, fake an injury, and then leave at the end of his contract to sign with another team. Once he was actually asked to play in a game and immediately fought with supporters to get a red card, and not only stayed on the team but got an extension. He did it all just before the internet would've made it easy for teams to go "huh, in his old country he was injured the same way" (since he used the same excuse, a hamstring injury, every time bc it was hard to detect back then)

Pictured: a king of the game

His Wikipedia article also has an incredible bit of comedy on it. Behold:

[citation needed]

Incredible burn, 10/10.

I want to write a book called “your character dies in the woods” that details all the pitfalls and dangers of being out on the road & in the wild for people without outdoors/wilderness experience bc I cannot keep reading narratives brush over life threatening conditions like nothing is happening.

I just read a book by one of my favorite authors whose plots are essentially airtight, but the MC was walking on a country road on a cold winter night and she was knocked down and fell into a drainage ditch covered in ice, broke through and got covered in icy mud and water.

Then she had a “miserable” 3 more miles to walk to the inn.

Babes she would not MAKE it to that inn.

Are there any other particularly egregious examples?

This book already exists, sort of! Or at least, it’s a biology textbook but I bought it for writing purposes:

It starts with a chapter about freezing to death, and it is without a doubt the scariest thing I’ve read in years (and I read a lot of horror fiction).

This book can be downloaded for free on Researchgate, posted there by the author himself:

The Biology of Human Survival: Life and Death in Extreme Environments

“Holding The Moon” Knights Ferry, California by Eric Hock

I think derry girls should have one thousand emmys

the story of kfc fucks me up man. the colonel founded this gas station that expanded to restaurant, the chicken at the restaurant gets popular, makes KFC, it gets big and he sells it to a corporation for a lot of money. realizes he got sorta scammed out of the true worth of kfc so tries to get more money and they refuse and the courts side against him. then he starts a new chicken restaurant claiming the corporate people were not making chicken to his standards and kfc sued him because kfc owned the colonel's likeness and the courts agreed. a corporation owned this man's name and appearance. he wasnt allowed to use either, thus legally erasing his reputation making it harder for him to get taken seriously in any food venture. the man, to the day he died, was going into kfc's and throwing fits because the food had fallen into such bad shape he hated it was associated with him. and it's like, whether he's a bad man or a good man or whatever, a corporation owned his identity, stopped him from using his reputation and identity in other businesses, and refused to acknowledge his outrage that they changed his recipes and still attributed it to him. this is literally the obnoxious plot of a jay and silent bob movie, but it was this dude's real life. what the fuck.

"One change the company made was to the gravy, which Sanders had bragged was so good that "it'll make you throw away the durn chicken and just eat the gravy" but which the company simplified to reduce time and cost. As late as 1979 Sanders made surprise visits to KFC restaurants, and if the food disappointed him, he denounced it to the franchisee as "God-damned slop" or pushed it onto the floor.[5][36] In 1973, Sanders sued Heublein Inc.—the then parent company of Kentucky Fried Chicken—over the alleged misuse of his image in promoting products he had not helped develop. In 1975, Heublein Inc. unsuccessfully sued Sanders for libel after he publicly described their gravy as being "sludge" with a "wall-paper taste".[6]" ......What did his original gravy taste like. WHAT DID HIS GRAVY TASTE LIKE

took a depression nap and all i remember from my nap dreams is a nonsensical t-shirt design that left me feeling dazed and confused after i woke up.

It’s crazy how low self-worth fucks with peoples lives

“What will I be if I don’t graduate/don’t get a promotion/don’t get my shit together/don’t make this relationship work?” You would be a perfectly normal human being who is inherently valuable and who possesses many talents and good traits

“What if I fail even when I tried my very best?” The world keeps turning and you will find many other things you will succeed at.

guys it turns out if you wanna have fun and be a fun and interesting person you like have to fill your day with fun things and not just rotting in your room …… need a moment to process

the hoes are more than a little alarmed by my new and innovative blowjob technique the "death roll"

sticking his finger fully into his hot coffee just to feel something

Trad man got the Tie Seatbelt and the Cue Ball Gear Shift That Doesn't Move

me: chat what do we think

the angel and devil on my shoulders: can you not call us that please

literally my favorite type of tweet