I Used To Be So Original

Carthusian Miscellany (c. 1460).

current mood is deadpool screaming ‘for jeff goldblum’ while throwing a spear at a dinosaur

sandy cheeks would’ve voted trump that evil southern rat ass bitch

Sandy Cheeks is a pro-science feminist who lives in a foreign land that she respects the customs of and she would be offended you would even accuse her of this.

mr krabs would’ve voted trump

Mr Krabs absolutely would’ve voted trump.

Mr. Krabs would not have voted for Trump because Mr. Krabs earned most of his money through hard work (and being a cheapskate and get rich quick schemes but those still require some effort on his part) whereas Trump inherited most of his wealth and thinks a million dollars is a small loan, Mr. Krabs would consider him an insult to richness for which he could not stand.

Plankton would’ve voted Trump.

You think he needs competition taking over the world? Face it folks. No one on Spongebob would vote for Trump. None of them. Face it.

Bubble Bass

Shit. Dammit. Goddammit. Shit. God. Dammit. Fuck.

Squilliam Fancyson would vote for Trump

okay im just gonna put down my things here

- Plankton would not want competition, he would not vote for him

- Krabs would never respect a guy who bankrupted himself four times, he would not vote for him

- Sandy Cheeks is an independent scientist receiving grants from academies to further her research in foreign lands, so she would never vote for him.  Also, she would never respect a man who made such sexist comments since Spongebob did that once (to motivate his pet snail like a traditional sports coach) and she kicked HIS ass over a fucking field.

- Patrick can’t spell so he couldn’t vote for anyone

- Spongebob is too nice and would never vote for anyone who used such inappropriate “bad words” during their campaign.

- Squidward is too lazy and defeatist to even vote because he thinks there would be no point.

- Pearl is a teenager and therefore too young to vote

- Larry Lobster is a trained medic and custodian and would not vote for anyone that crippled such services.

- Bubble Bass WOULD vote for him because Bass is an arrogant self-entitled prick who enjoys deceiving others just for the sake of humiliating them, and would approve of such a person.

- Squilliam Fancyson would also vote for him because he’s a wealthy narcissist.

- Mrs. Puff has a criminal record and is therefore not eligible to vote.

Squidward is a full time minimum wage retail worker who is pro-union and anti-capitalist, and also a firm supporter and member of the fine arts community. He would actively vote against Trump, defeatist or not, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

the fucking slapping noise is incredible

This is unsettling.

1-800-R-U-SLAPPIN

A round of applause

Earth

I made this and showed it to a friend. She said I should post it, so here we are.

This is it.

This is officially the best thing I’ve ever seen.

Me: I want to write a thing

Friends: So write it

Me:

iconic christmas song

These three fucking legends

We ordered lube and rubbers online and because we spent more than $20 they sent us a free (too-big-to-use) dildo. So…

to big to use….?

You know, I’m glad you asked, because it allows me to print a correction.

I originally said it was too big to use, but yesterday I learned an important lesson about determination and believing in yourself.

N U N   R A V E

BLESS THIS MOSH PIT

“Drop the blessed bass sister Mary Bethel!”

“Make a Man Out of You” from Mulan was sung by Jackie Chan in Mandarin Chinese.  

I just thought you should know.

So for some reason this post is exploding in my notifications.  So enjoy it, maybe?

They wanted him to play the part in English as well (I think?), but he was worried about his accent. If you look up the video on YouTube, he does fight demonstrations while he’s singing.

Oh my gosh, tell me how to be a man, Jackie Chan

Thanks, @anniecardi! I should learn to embed videos. ;)

#sit down donny osmond - a new player has entered the ring  #and he is not playing around

In case y’all didn’t know: Jackie Chan is an operatically trained vocalist. Like, he’s LEGITIMATELY AN OPERA SINGER. Truly one of the most talented men alive.

My skin just cleared watching this. OMG!!

THIS MAN IS PURE GOLD!!!

I HAD NO IDEA JACKIE CHAN WAS A TRAINED OPERA SINGER HOLY SHIT.

My favorite moment from Videogamedunkey, his fight against one of the temple guardians from The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.

this is the best video ever

do we ever stop jackin’ off? like does it ever end?

Nope (ง’̀-‘́)ง 🥩