Normality is Overrated.

4-2-2011

I never considered baby capybaras were a thing but here I am, d'awstruck but the tiny adorable child

babybara

holy shit

My Irish friend didn’t believe me when I told him that in Florida there is literally a wall of orange juice in every grocery store.

Historical range of the use of war elephants throughout history

me, a simple English pikeman watching a war elephant rampaging through Kent: wots all this then

Sharks will now help us EAT THE RICH

Viktor Krum rescues Hermione Granger by half-transfiguring into a shark during the second task of the Triwizard Tournament, February 24, 1995

vintage 2020 right here

nostalgia used to be about stuff that happened way back in the past, now so much shit is happening in such a short time that three months ago carries the same nostalgic weight as thirteen years ago

excuse me officer i would like to report a murder

simple way to know which houses to rob

this is like the polar opposite of smearing lamb’s blood on your doorframe to spare your firstborn

The man-free sanctuary will offer up a range of typical beauty services such as hair, waxing, facials and manicures and pedicures, while providing unique services like henna and halal nails and eyebrow shaping.

Quhshi also noted that while Le’Jemalik was created with Muslims in mind, “women of all faiths, races, and ethnicities” are welcome.

This store is in Brooklyn, please support if you can; this is such a huge need for us muslim women.

It’s so pretty too 🥰

legitimately this will be me at any social function after we’re allowed in public again

it’s so funny when youtubers/podcasts have a sponsorship and they introduce the company as if it’s this shiny new thing that hasn’t already been terrorizing me for years like shut up i already know that skillshare is an online learning community with thousands of classes for creative and curious people let’s keep it moving 

me, in the year 2021, learning that audible is the leading provider in audiobooks with thousands of titles to choose from 

People talk about the surprise albums from people like Taylor Swift or Beyoncé that drop with zero warning but I have just been existing in this world where every album I've ever heard in my life has been a surprise album because I didn't know that musicians had schedules that we could see

If you were born after 1988, Republican presidents have now been impeached more times than they've been elected by popular vote in your lifetime.

Ya'll be like "Shang was having a bi freak out, realizing he was into Ping". NO HE WASN'T. He already knew he was into men. His bisexual freak out was when he realized Ping was Mulan and hey maybe he's into girls too whatdoya know?

Legit you think a bi man who has always been in such a male-dominated space like the army hadn't already figured out that he liked men? Come oooonnnn... It's women he has rarely had contact with and has no idea how to talk to or flirt with (you fight good) I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

In "A Girl Worth Fighting For" Shang has zero lines I REST MY FUCKING CASE.

Dan, picking out an anniversary card: I need something that represents our years together. The patience he’s had over the years, our trials and the way we’ve overcome them. I’d like a house in the background, similar to where we will be living in our forever home. I want it to show the years and how we’ve changed together to become stronger than ever. I-

Phil, picking out an anniversary card: I need something that reminds him how he farted the other night in his sleep.

If a ghost can open cupboards and break things, why not just take a pencil, find paper, write exactly why it’s unhappy, and tape the message on the fridge.

It just became second nature to close all the cupboards first thing in the morning (even though they’d been closed the night before). Which was when things escalated from banging cupboard doors to actually breaking things.

Faucets, door handles, curtain rods ripped from the wall… all the repairs started to add up.

“Look, I didn’t mind having an ethereal roommate, but I can’t afford to keep fixing all this shit. Here’s a pencil and some paper. Just write what’s bothering you–I doubt you could put anything that would be more expensive than having a plumber come out to replace all the faucets again.”

The next morning there’s a scrawl line at the top of the page that devolved into an angry scribbling mess that tore through the page. Two cupboard doors were entirely ripped off.

“I don’t want to get someone in to banish you, but this is ridiculous. Just tell me what you want.”

The second piece of paper is ripped into shreds and several knives are embedded in the wall.

A careful examination of the paper scraps show that it had the same scribbles as the first piece.

A quick trip to the library and a stop at a store later, there are kindergarten workbooks on learning to write spread across the counter.

“Look, I don’t know if you’re just being difficult, but I hope not. So I got an audiobook on learning to read and write, and here are some workbooks for kids–don’t get mad–to teach them their letters. Just press play on the stereo, and work through the books at your own pace. I’ll get more when you finish.”

The first workbook is half-completed before being ripped to pieces, but at least there was no other damage. Replacing it is significantly cheaper than replacing cupboard doors.

It takes awhile, but eventually the workbooks progress to a fifth grade level. These ones are starting to be more costly (they’re bigger, for one thing), but it’s not even the money anymore. Little notes scrawled in a shaky hand appear on the steamy bathroom mirror

Have A gooD dy

Or written in ketchup on the counter (that was a frightening sight the first time)

You R out of MLK

And then one day there’s a message taped to the fridge. The spelling and penmanship isn’t the best, but it’s legible and even signed.

Dear Occupente,

I have haunted this spot for ovr three huner hudre 300 years. My bones are dust and I am fergotN. I do not have wants to trap me. I am here 4 ever.

I am bord. Lonly.

I am sorrY 4 breaking things.

We be frends?

Syncerly Eloise

I love you, Eloise