Fuck.

Fuck me.

I need some place to talk and I have no one that will listen. So I’m going to post my feelings and shit on here. Why the fuck not? Has to be cheaper than a therapist or psychiatrist.

I don’t even know where to start... not that anyone cares.

I want to go back to school to find a new career so I don’t have to work 7 days a week at 2 different jobs to support my children and myself. I’m scared I’m going to fail. I’m scared to go back to college. I’m not 100% sure what I want to do. No matter what I look into I can see me fucking it up because I feel useless.

I can convince myself that I will fuck it all up. And I’m pretty sure I will.

Steve is a fucking dick.

I feel like a failure as a mother. My children don’t listen or respect me. At all. I’m a fucking joke.

I want to hang out and have friends but I don’t like people. Plus no one wants to be around me. Single moms don’t really have friends or time for friends. Plus the always working bullshit.

I’m tired.

I sit in my room and cry. I want to sleep all day and yet at night I can’t sleep.

I’m on different medications for anxiety and depression. I wonder if I’m bipolar. I don’t want to go to the doctors tho.

I know and can feel mentally I’m not “normal” and it scares the fuck out of me.

I think about suicide way too much. But I can’t leave my kids.

Those are just the main thoughts right now.