Self worth comes from within bitches

“Who would survive a zombie apocalypse?”

(via cryssiedenise_)

#He’s the ex that your family wishes you were still dating #Because your current one is trash

Reminder that Diana Prince aka Wonder Woman is confirmed bisexual by DC. Not a lesbian, certainly not straight, but bisexual and she’s one of only a few bisexual characters who’s sexuality isn’t used for laughs or as a way to further sexualize her. So like, let us have that??

Apparently McDonald’s also said they’re getting killed by millenials and one of their CEO’s said it’s because millenials don’t have “brand loyalty” and are instead “promiscuous”

Brand sluts, the new Millennial Threat.

This blog 100% supports the Wayward Daughters spin-off. 

If you don’t like that, please take advantage of the unfollow button. 

some uncultured human: *shocked about diana being bisexual*

me: she is from a island full of women, helen. what did you think she do in her spare time? dance around with manatees? 

Executive: “I guess movie critics just don’t like DC superheroes.”

The Lego Batman Movie:

Executive: Holy shit.

AND

I was at my cousin’s house for a family barbecue and she shushed us all bc her neighbor ‘The Captain’ was walking by with a dog, and he was just some skinny guy with a long ponytail and a captain’s hat walking an irish wolfhound so we all like ‘what’s the big deal’ but she told us to wait and then like ten minutes later he passed again on his way back to his house but he just…had a different dog. it was like a cocker spaniel. she said every day he leaves the house with the wolfhound and comes back with the tiny dog and she’s never seen them get returned either way. she can never find out where he walks to. shes been watching him for years. my family was freaking the fuck out one of my other cousins looked like he was about to have an aneurysm.  

This is comedy gold

it’s nice when something reminds someone of you and then they tell you

Reblog if you love sea dogs

1-800-ARE-YOU-SLAPPIN

big slappy returns

Wonder Woman wearing an evening gown over her suit of armor while arriving uninvited to a fancy dinner party with an entire sword strapped to her back ready to kill a man is by far the Biggest Mood of 2017

the year is 2067. an elderly woman sits in a hover-rocker at the local care home. she’s nodding off to sleep when a voice says, “hey, i like your shoelaces.” the woman opens her eyes, confused. shoelaces? shoes stopped having laces decades ago. she stares at the grey haired lady in front of her for a long quizzical minute before it hits her. a large, dentured smile spreads across her face and she replies:

“thanks. i stole them from the president.”

Shout out to the kids whose parents unknowingly messed with their emotional, psychological or physical health.

Shout out to you guys who have not told their parents because you have to stay with them.

Shout out to those kids who hide this all and try live normal lives.

I love you.

Look at all the little pollen grains. She stepped right out onto my hand.