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[ironic Homosexual Banter]

@starryeyedhowell-blog / starryeyedhowell-blog.tumblr.com

Lmao I must have made this blog in my sleep whatever it's funny im gonna leave it
|They/she| Philtrashsquad member since 08/23/2015
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longslives

kids have no concept of anything. i walked into my kindergarten class and one kid asked me what my name was. when i said miss jones, he said “i like that name. did you know i’m in love with you”

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reversecow

harry was totally that kid in preschool who brought in cookies every week and made his mommy count two times to make sure everyone gets one and then passed them out to his classmates very carefully and clapped his little hands cause he made everyone happy

louis would be the one to take two 

SOMEONE WRITE A FIC RIGHT NOW

I’m sorry to intrude your post but I couldn't stop myself from writing this. also sorry for my poor english

Harry’s mom never misses the opportunity to tell stories about his children’s childhood to literally every person she meets. She has tons of awkward memories that always make Harry and Gemma want to disappear but there’s one that Anne particularly adores. 

“Harry, dear, do you remember that time you were in preschool?” he tells him on night.

Harry rolls his eyes and smiles because he has heard that story so many times. “Yes, I do” replies as he keeps washing the dishes. 

“You were such a little thing at the time, so tiny” she adds with a fond smile.

“He was evil” says Gemma as she walks into the kitchen holding two cups of tea. “And annoying.”

“Oh, stop it, you. He was shy and you were the big sister, it’s pretty obvious he wanted to be with you all the time, it was his first year!” she clarifies and she goes to pinch Harry’s left cheek. “That’s why I said to him: why don’t you bring some of mum’s magic biscuits to school? Everyone falls for biscuits” she continues; Harry smiles as his mum keeps talking, he knows how the story will end. He remembers those days.

“How many do you want to make, darling?”

“Dunno, a lot.”

“How about twenty? I think it should be okay for the first time, every one of your friends will get one.”

“Okaaay mummy.”

Harry follows every step of Anne’s baking process with extreme attention and enthusiasm. His classmates will surely love him, he will be best friend with every single one of them thanks to his mummy’s biscuits which, by the way, are delicious. 

“All done, darling, I’m going to wrap them now” says Anne at the end. Harry nods. 

The next day, Harry can’t wait for lunchtime and when finally all the kids sits together to eat at the colored tables in the hall, Harry pulls the little box of cookies out of his schoolbag and, with the tiniest of voices, he says: “I’ve brought biscuits.”

Unfortunately, no one hears him. The kids don’t even seem to have noticed him, they keep talking and laughing with one another. Harry’s cheeks flush, he clears his throat and repeats the words. A little girl with blond hair tied up in two high ponytails turns to him and, when she notices the box Harry’s holding, she wrinkle her little nose. “My parents say I can’t eat things strangers offer to me” she says and she turns away while her friends start to giggle. 

Harry opens his mouth but nothing comes out. 

“Can I have one?” 

Harry turns around to find a kid standing in front of him. He nods nervously and open the box with shaky hands. The kid takes a biscuit and he gives it a huge bite. After a few loud chews, he finally exclaims: “WONDERFUL” and Harry’s heart drops into his stomach. A big smiles appears on the kid’s face. “Can I have another one?”

Harry nods again and watches the kid’s blue eyes inspecting the biscuits until he finds the best looking one. “Did you make it yourself?” asks the boy. 

Harry shakes his head. “It was my mum.”

“Well, tell your mum she’s the best cookie-maker ever” he replies. 

“I will” Harry smiles, he feels better now.

“I’m so full, maybe we should let the others finish these ones, shouldn't we?”

Harry shrugs. “They don’t seem interested.”

“Let’s see” says the kid as he grabs a free chair to stand on top of it. “Hey” he raise his voice, the other kids in the room turn their heads towards him. 

“What’s your name again?” he whispers to Harry.

“I… I didn’t say my name… I’m Harry” he answers shyly. 

“Listen, Harry’s mum has mad the most delicious chocolate cookies ever and unfortunately we’re too full to eat them all so please help us, would you?”.

Slowly, a bunch of kids reaches the point where the boy is standing to grab a biscuit from the box. Harry is shocked. This kid must be so cool if everyone listens to him!

Ten minutes later, the box is empty and every kid’s got a cookie (except for that blondie… too bad).

Harry steps closer to the kid, who in the meantime is climbing down from the chair. “Thank you”.

The kid looks up and smiles. “I was the new one two years ago, I know how it feels to be ignored, it’s going to be good though, don’t worry”.

Harry smiles, too. He feels so warm and his hand are tingling. 

The two of them spend the rest of the lunch sitting together and when the bell rings, the kid ruffles Harry’s messy hair and says: “My name’s Louis, by the way” and before heading to his class he adds. “See you tomorrow, curly! Bring more biscuits!”.

Harry’s smile is wider than it’s ever been and when his mum comes to pick him up that afternoon he begs her to bake more cookies for the next day. She accepts.

Bringing cookies to school has become Harry’s thing, now. At lunch, he gives one to each kid and they all smile to him. Louis always takes two and Harry enjoys watching him eat so much that he just can’t say to him that he’s eating his biscuit. He’s very happy to give his biscuit away if it’s Louis who eats it.

Eventually, Louis finds out that Harry’s the only not to eat the sweets so he apologize to him and, the next day, he brings him a giant piece of cake. 

“Can we make one more cookie this time, mum?”

“Of course, darling. Is there a new kid?”

Harry’s cheek flush. “Nope” he answers, “Louis likes them very much so I thought that maybe he can have two?”

Anne smiles to him. “Who’s Louis, sweetie?”

“The kid who helped me with the biscuits the first day I brought them, he asked everyone to take one and he said that you are the best cookie-maker ever.”

Anne smiles widens. “Must be special, this Louis”.

“He is” says Harry. “He’s very kind to me and he’s also funny.”

“So he totally deserves a second cookie” declares Anne, nodding. Harry smiles. 

“You can’t even imagine how cute you were when you where talking about Louis” Anne laughs. Harry’s cheeks are still red, the dishes are now clean.

“Disgustingly sweet” adds Gemma. 

“Shut up” Harry mumbled. “You weren’t even there”.

“I am now, duh” she shoots back. “You two are disgusting, I swear. Every time I see you my teeth start to decay.”

“Fuck you” he whispers as he walks behind her to reach the table. Louis is sitting on top of it, skinny legs swinging slowly.

“Thanks for always defending me” Harry scolds him.

Louis scoffs at him. “Oh, don’t pout, love. You know how much I love hearing this story!”

Harry’s pout turns into a big smile. “I know” says finally as he leans in for a kiss. Louis’s lips are soft and sweet. 

“See? You’re gonna pay me the dentist this time!” yells Gemma but she’s smiling fondly. Harry flips the bird at her while he keeps pressing his lips against Louis’s who smiles into the kiss.

Anne puts the dish towel down and presses her hand on Gemma’s back pushing her towards the living room. “Let’s give them some space, darling, come on”.

it just got better and better

THANK YOU OMG

OMG I LOVE IT

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